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Old 11-21-2019, 04:54 AM
 
Location: Canada
6,617 posts, read 6,541,448 times
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I was in Cody a few years back and thought it was one of the most scenic areas on our trip. As we spent some time there, I had an idea form in my head to write a book for my grand-daughter.


Below is how I wrote one line and I want to know IF this is correct. If it's not correct, how would you change the wording? If I need more information in there, I'll need to change it into two sentences instead of one long one.

PS, it is a young reader book, so I shouldn't get too technical.

"Julia lived on a quiet country road at the foothills of the Absaroka Mountain Range, with the majestic Bighorn Mountains in the distance across the valley."

Hope you can help me. Thank you in advance.
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Old 11-21-2019, 11:15 AM
 
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Perhaps a WEE-bit off-topic, but whenever I hear the name 'Julia', I cannot help but reflect on the movie '1984' (loosely based on the George Orwell book) and one of the most HAUNTING songs I've ever heard (sung/recorded by singer: Annie Lennox (of 'Eurythmics' fame) that same year) one of many, which accompanies that film...

Granted, the character-study of THAT particular 'Julia' is unquestionably & most decidedly 'Adult' in nature...but the overall aura of the song itself (more or less) seems to fit the setting...for what little you've shared so far...

https://youtu.be/buGo4dm5xGI

...might try putting it on 'loop' (playing softly in the background while you're writing) to see if it helps project a different writing atmosphere ?
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Old 11-21-2019, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Canada
6,617 posts, read 6,541,448 times
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Thank you. I'll have to give your link a try... but for now, what I need to know if my geographical/topographical description is correct?

"at the foothills of the Absaroka Mountain Range, with the majestic Bighorn Mountains in the distance across the valley."


--------------------------
Okay, I just checked out your link. That woman is beautiful and what a nice song.

More familiar to me is this song for the name Julia https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgylB7SSrkU
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Old 11-21-2019, 03:56 PM
 
1,539 posts, read 1,473,483 times
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Maybe change the wording to "in the far distance across the valley". It's.... what.... 70-80 miles from the Absaroka's to the Big Horns? But maybe too much for a young reader to need...
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Old 11-21-2019, 05:09 PM
 
Location: Canada
6,617 posts, read 6,541,448 times
Reputation: 18443
Quote:
Originally Posted by nm9stheham View Post
Maybe change the wording to "in the far distance across the valley". It's.... what.... 70-80 miles from the Absaroka's to the Big Horns? But maybe too much for a young reader to need...
Thanks! I'm glad to know that it works. As long as I can say they are "in the distance" that's good enough.
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