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Old

I have a blog????

Posted 12-09-2017 at 12:53 PM by trickydawn
Updated 09-13-2018 at 02:18 AM by trickydawn

It's almost silly to even say that, since it is so damn long ago I wrote in it. Not that I haven't wanted to. So much as a matter of fact. But I can't seem to keep my computer out of the pawn shop long enough to be able to actually use it. And so I try to journal in a notebook, and even will record my thoughts here and there on my phone, but I can't even read my writing and I can't even come close to handwriting fast enough to keep up with my own thoughts. Yes, I am a typer, and that is that....
Junior Member
Posted in Get it right
Views 65 Comments 0 trickydawn is offline
Old

really? still havent hit bottom

Posted 05-23-2017 at 04:01 AM by trickydawn
Updated 05-23-2017 at 04:16 AM by trickydawn

Nope, there just seems to be a spot lower and lower than what I thought was the lowest. I did just get my computer back today after 3 months and that is a relief, since it was going to be lost after today to the pawn shop, but I also lost my house a few days ago to eviction. This is how it goes for me lately. A little win, (getting my mac back) then a huge loss (losing my home.) The worst thing about being homeless and broke tho, isnt sleeping in car, being alone and lost, changing bags in public...
Junior Member
Posted in Get it right
Views 90 Comments 0 trickydawn is offline
Old

wtf is wrong with me

Posted 11-26-2016 at 01:09 AM by trickydawn
Updated 05-23-2017 at 04:19 AM by trickydawn

I will just spend the rest of my life crying and hurting because of my own stupid choices. I seem to have done everything in the last several years to make these remaining years as heart wrenching, painful, lonely, and just plain pathetic as I possibly can. The thing is , I don't know why. I thought that I was someone that I could be proud of for the most part. I was always trying to do right by others, and still do. I don't have many people to do right by anymore, but still, like I always...
Junior Member
Posted in Get it right
Views 181 Comments 0 trickydawn is offline
Old
Rating: 2 votes, 3.00 average.

zero self worth

Posted 11-04-2016 at 05:40 AM by trickydawn

That is the only explanation. I know my self esteem is pretty rock bottom, and I find it hard to think that I could be feeling real great about myself at this age with reality telling me how I have accomplished nothing that I set out to and had no back up plans for this scenario. I suppose I was overly confident before? Maybe, but many would say I was just stupid. Either or, at this pity party of mine, I am not feeling that even with my really bad moments, or stretches, I deserve the way I am...
Junior Member
Posted in Get it right
Views 154 Comments 0 trickydawn is offline
Old

serenity now!!!

Posted 10-22-2016 at 07:23 AM by trickydawn

It is really the gift that keeps on giving, this divorce thing. I can't think of anything outside my Mom taking the trip to Wonderland that isn't directly because of it. I finally got the Qdro paper filed, I think anyways-I may have done something wrong before handing it in. So Matt had to meet me there to also sign, and in all his crazy out of control bearded glory, was needing me to also sign a paper for him down in parking lot. He stated that it was so he could take money from Jc's college...
Junior Member
Posted in Get it right
Views 141 Comments 0 trickydawn is offline

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