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Old

another ending

Posted 05-09-2024 at 04:39 AM by trickydawn

It was the first car JC drove. It was the car that Jodi and I brought Autumn home from the hospital in. We took Jacobey to his first day of school in it. Jodi and Nick got their license in it. So did Matthew. And now, like most everything from the best years of my life, it's gone. The Nitro is gone. I have referred to the Nitro as a scrapbook of raising a family. From babies to adults. From brand new on the lot, to dented, ripped, stained, scratched, cracked, stinky, and filled with so many...
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Old

no, not gonna be my 2023

Posted 12-29-2022 at 12:42 AM by trickydawn
Updated 12-29-2022 at 06:33 AM by trickydawn (adding)

It's the 29th of December. Louie has been back for exactly thirteen days. Most days have been great. Yes I have a wall that keeps getting thicker and higher. Builds much quicker than it ever comes down, because it seems just as I'm about to take down a brick, or even just as one comes down, three get added BAM BAM BAM in rapid succession. I don't know what else I can do. I am with him almost 24/7, and 99 percent of the time I am not with him, I am at the apt sleeping and he is off doing errands,...
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Old

trillion % NOT ok

Posted 12-08-2022 at 04:43 AM by trickydawn

I'm really not. Not ok physically. Not ok emotionally. Not ok mentally. Not ok spiritually. In every possible way someone's wellbeing can be ****ed off, mine is. I am even leaning toward having myself deemed totaled. Offering myself up with a salvage title if anyone is interested for their junk yard! ha.
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Old

no fight left in me

Posted 12-08-2022 at 03:43 AM by trickydawn

It's that time again. The end of one year, the beginning of a new one. I lived. Made it all the way through, and will now begin the next year of survival. Not living, not finding peace, not reaching the goals I swore I would, and basically learn how to be a happy and independent woman for this second part of life. BUT NOPE. Seventh year in a row that I am face to face with the New year, and the only thing I am bringing to table, is another 12 months of me failing. And I am heading into this...
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Old

trading places

Posted 12-08-2022 at 03:41 AM by trickydawn

pretty silly that I can't delete my own blog entries, so I just erased the body of this post and wrote this. lol
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