About Emotional Abusers
Posted 04-04-2023 at 10:27 AM by Blondebaerde
Interesting thread on this topic in the Psychology sub forum. My sidebar:
Friend of mine who is quite intelligent vents on occasion that he's in an emotionally abusive relationship. He's been with his partner about seven years. They've lived together at least five. He's used the phrase 2-3 times in same number of years. I don't remark further on what he should do, that's self-evident.
..To me. I went from concerned to sympathetic to ambivalent over the past few years. I don't deal with them often in-person as a couple.
We talked the other day on the phone, first time in months, he went on about spending bulk of his free time w/partner past three years. Through the 'Vid lockdowns. They have a moderate sized home, but I suspect that during lockdowns no home is big enough to contain all the feelings. Mine was fine for a party of one and in fact I relished the solitude. Vanilla vs. chocolate preferences.
In summary: my friend is in a glass prison. He seems to enjoy it in a Stockholm Syndrome way. He prefers the company of women as his bestie. This is essentially a penance he pays each day. I'm not super fond of his partner, finding her a sinister intellect and manipulative, but I can't bring myself to dislike her too much either. It isn't profitable to hate primates for doing what comes natural. People like me never get IN to such situations nor have urge to partner up. If she left, he's attract another vampire so who cares.
If the pain of being alone is more than the pain of being with an abuser, well: solution found. My opinion.
Friend of mine who is quite intelligent vents on occasion that he's in an emotionally abusive relationship. He's been with his partner about seven years. They've lived together at least five. He's used the phrase 2-3 times in same number of years. I don't remark further on what he should do, that's self-evident.
..To me. I went from concerned to sympathetic to ambivalent over the past few years. I don't deal with them often in-person as a couple.
We talked the other day on the phone, first time in months, he went on about spending bulk of his free time w/partner past three years. Through the 'Vid lockdowns. They have a moderate sized home, but I suspect that during lockdowns no home is big enough to contain all the feelings. Mine was fine for a party of one and in fact I relished the solitude. Vanilla vs. chocolate preferences.
In summary: my friend is in a glass prison. He seems to enjoy it in a Stockholm Syndrome way. He prefers the company of women as his bestie. This is essentially a penance he pays each day. I'm not super fond of his partner, finding her a sinister intellect and manipulative, but I can't bring myself to dislike her too much either. It isn't profitable to hate primates for doing what comes natural. People like me never get IN to such situations nor have urge to partner up. If she left, he's attract another vampire so who cares.
If the pain of being alone is more than the pain of being with an abuser, well: solution found. My opinion.
