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Hoping for sudden death...

Posted 05-07-2023 at 10:40 AM by TNSLPPTSO13

As i ponder what am I gonna do with the few years I may have left..as I will be in poverty,with mobility issues and alone.

The company that I've worked for for 43 years was sold..already fired 20% of the workforce;including my 2 "confidants" at the office;the ones that fed my cat while I was enterred in a nursing home for 5 months last year after a toe amputation;the ones that I was able to vent to of my frustrations in life,financial f-ups and general disastrous outlook on life.

I was told by my boss;the one who sold the company, that he would stay for 2 years as an employee of the new owners,and that I would still be paid at my current rate until at least then.
With my pessimist nature that just does not make it any easier for me. Even if the new ownership keeps me;which is very unlikely since I'm too old and probably considered over-paid by Miami standards(Though it was only a few years ago that I started making good money)...the truth is that I feel like I can't work for anybody else.In my entire working life I've only worked in 4 places...I started working at age 13..officially for SS at 16 at KFC..5 years...Wendy's 6 months...then another small office for 2 1/2 years and then my current employer for 43 years.

I can't handle change well. I am a painfully introverted person with self-esteem issues,body
dysmorphia issues and basically handicapped now where I can barely walk 100 steps before excruciating pain in my hips,shins and feet(Peripheral arterial disease).Even surgery last year of 2 stents placed in each of my legs did not help with my walking ability.

I am also deep in debt(over $120K with newly incurred medical debt).Will start collecting SS in a month...$2700 a month...I thought I'd be able to start paying my debt with that...but now this job thing happened. I don't want to work for somebody else..I can't live on SS alone;which is all I have. There's my dilemma.

I am justified in wanting to die ASAP...I am sick,broke and alone..limited family left in Washington state...but they have their own issues...and I am too much of a ***** to end it all myself.
Is hopeless...
Posted in Uncategorized
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Total Comments 1


  1. Old Comment
    first, i am sorry you are going through these tough times. death is a permanent solution to your problems. try to look on the bright side and do things for yourself. screw debt, if you feel you have limited time, then live it up. jobs aren’t everything, and in this world you can he unemployed tomorrow. you have the power to make things better. “make it a great day”
    Posted 05-07-2023 at 11:38 AM by Kristinas_Cap Kristinas_Cap is online now

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