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Loves Mountains gave you some PRIMO advice. Prime slice. Filet Mignon of young dating advice.
I'm going to give you the male side of it.
She's 18, was into you and now knows she HAS you. As LM also said, at that age this is what they DO: Change their minds.
My advice to you:
You're 23. I don't know if you're in school or not, but if you haven't graduated then you should be IN school.
I'm not going to tell you not to worry about this, because I know it's kind of eating you up inside wondering what the hell happened AND since you allowed yourself to begin to feel for this girl.
Let me say that again -- feel for this GIRL. It happens, there's no shame in it.
However, she's NOT going to come back around. Right now, painful as it may be for you to hear, she's exploring her options, and you got bumped down the list of priorities. Some of it is probably because you didn't push and take things further; some of it is the distance and the time involved.
PEOPLE have a way of dropping things which have become inconvenient for them. You hold a position of priority for them; then time passes and you hold less.... and less... until one day you're alone and looking around scratching your head and wondering what YOU did wrong, when the answer to that is you did NOTHING wrong.
Not every relationship you're going to have in your life will work out. Some will matter to you more than others, actually HURT; while others will make you shake your head and sigh in relief that they're over.
This one stings some because it left you with questions.
Get used to it. Not all our questions in life get answered in quite the way we wish, and your answer HERE is to recognize that she's still a child, recognize your own (now seemingly clingy) youth -- yes, I know you didn't mean to BE that way, but when a woman stops wanting you, the very same attention she once adored is now "clingy". It makes you appear weak, and therefore MORE undesirable than you became initially.
And the whole time IT'S NOT YOU, it really is her. Doesn't feel that way, but it is.
I'll share with you some advice my TI gave me during Basic Training, GOOD advice.
When I first got there, I wrote home, wrote to my friends, and looked for that support I was now lacking.
And every day at mail call, I got nothing. Other people got letters, parcels and cards by the bundle. I got ONE piece of mail while I was in Basic Training: One of my OWN letters which the stamp had fallen off of so that it was returned.
It made me sad, kind of depressed. I was the ONLY guy in our unit who never got anything.
One day the TI saw me moping after mail call and took me aside.
"You depressed, Hodges? You feelin' low because ain't nobody ever write to you? I see you send letters out, but ain't nobody ever write back."
I shuffled my feet some and mumbled "Yes, sir."
He put his hand on my shoulder and said "Look at me, Hodges. I'm gonna tell you somethin'.
"They ain't writin' to you now, during Basic Training... probably the hardest, most trying time of your life so far. And you here mopin'."
"Yes, sir."
"I'm not bein' mean when I say, these people obviously don't care about you if they can't pick up a pen and write same way you writin' to them. And if they don't care enough about you to do this when you at yo' lowest -- then why do you care about them? Why you wastin' your time worryin' over people who obviously don't care about YOU?"
Actions speak louder than words, and I'm sorry, son -- this girl has made her stance clear.
YOU MATTER LESS.
Wake up and realize YOU COUNT, really COUNT, and get your ass out the door and move on with life, meeting people who WILL give a damn.
This one was pretty? Others are, too.
This one was "different"? You'll find out nearly all of them are "different" but really aren't different at all.
This one was "special"? Apparently not special enough to nurture even the friendship you thought you had, let alone any relationship you thought you might foster. And she doesn't think you're special enough to even return a considerate text.
Everyone gets busy sometimes, and some people will USE that endlessly if you allow them to. There's a difference between being considerate because life has taken a harsh turn for someone else, and being a doormat because they're ALWAYS -- repeat that: ALWAYS -- going to be too busy.
Not too busy for everything; just too busy for you.
Ain't nobody that busy or imprisoned. If they want to be part of your life, actually WANT to, they'll MAKE the time, FIND the time. And if you really don't matter as much as they say, then life is one giant excuse which always means a Busy Signal.
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