Child Adoption is for the rich! (name change, first time, birth certificate, orphanages)

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by MS313

I didn't know adoption was so complicated and expensive. I thought they needed more people to adopt children. I guess everything is "profit first" now days.

"They" need more people to adopt older children, children with mental or physical disabilities, children who have been abused, children of nonwhite races, children who were born addicted to something...

But many people seeking to adopt are looking for healthy infants.

[Middletwin]

Originally Posted by nmnita

I agree it is a shock to understand the costs, but as for people wanting to adopt and a need, it is quite the opposite. There are not nearly enough babies available. Oh, there are always older kids, but they often come with a lot of baggage. There are children with special needs, this is not something an adoptive family should take lightly and there are inter racial or minorities children, but again, this isn't for everyone. What I am having a problem with is, no compensation for the mother who is giving her child up and yet there are thousands of $$s being collected for someone's profit.

We need to expect and understand that there aren't supposed to be that many orphaned babies, in the first place. It's when families have difficulties that we need to help raise their children. As such, there's not much room for shopping for an ideal child. I think once people understand all this, with the knowledge that adoption is about finding homes for children instead of finding children, then maybe the exorbitant
Finders Fees of thousands of $$, may drop. But for now, adoption has powerful lobbyists and they need the money to continue the trade.

The only compensation for a first mother - should be that she is honored, cherished, spoken with high regard for her child has her genes, and be part of the new family, if all want this and it's safe. And honor the Open Adoption Agreement, which are not binding documents legally - as long as the first parents remain safe.

The seedy part of compensation is - Providing an expectant mother with housing or medical care is predatory towards her, especially since they're probably considering adoption under financial duress. Further, if it's implied that she should relinquish because of what she is receiving, then this coercion. (If I was an expectant mother and some couple did that to me, I would not want them to parent my child.) We can help her but that's it. This is her family member and we should expect that she will remain parenting after the birth - that is the default after all. Now, providing an expectant mother with a monetary value for a human - her human, for our profit or pleasure is similar to the purchase of humans for slavery for they too were used for profit or pleasure. And when the child grows up and becomes an adult, I wonder how they will feel, knowing how much they cost.

[PriscillaVanilla]

Originally Posted by Shark01

Our two Russian adoptions were $25,000 (2001) and $50,000 (2008) so they tend to be pricey.....but worth every penny.

Adopting from Russia isn't possible anymore for Americans.

[PriscillaVanilla]

Originally Posted by Middletwin

We need to expect and understand that there aren't supposed to be that many orphaned babies, in the first place. It's when families have difficulties that we need to help raise their children. As such, there's not much room for shopping for an ideal child. I think once people understand all this, with the knowledge that adoption is about finding homes for children instead of finding children, then maybe the exorbitant


..

True.


A lot of people unfortunately, tend to think adoption is about getting kids for people who want them, rather than finding good homes for kids.

[klaucka]

Originally Posted by blktoptrvl

What about fostering? Similar situation, except instead of paying, you get paid. Then later, if the child is right for you, it may be easier and cheaper to adopt.

I have two friends at work that are foster parents (both single in super high stress job, they amaze me). Both are fostering special needs children and are trying to adopt those children. Sadly, the parents are in and out of their lives with good intentions, but have addiction issues and are clearly not able to care for the children, but it roadblocks the adoption process and adds immense challenge (the stop and go of the adoption process, parents showing up for a week every 6 months trying to parent) for these women who at this point just love these children so much. And our company has an extremely generous benefits package for adoption, and they are still stressed beyond belief dealing with this situation. They say it is like this for a lot of their fellow foster parents trying to adopt.

[katharsis]

In 1996, we went the "foster-adopt" route in Colorado -- two half-siblings, then aged three and five, and we adopted them 15 months later. They were considered special needs (behavioral and emotional issues -- especially in the older one), and so we only had to pay the $160 adoption filing fees.

Have things really changed so much in only about 20 years?!

If so, I think that is shameful and outrageous!

[mondayafternoons]

Originally Posted by Coldjensens

We had some friends who tried to adopt, they paid $20,000 went through the entire process. They day they were supposed to fly out to pick up their new son, someone discovered the kid had some native american blood and he could not be adopted without approval from the tribe he never knew he was related to (nor did his parent apparently). The tribe said no. Goodbye $20,000.

They tried again with another $20,000. I do not recall what happened but it also fell apart at the last minute.

Then they decided to adopt outside the USA. However that turned out to be a scam and they lost some more moeny.

Finally they gave up. Never did adopt. Great couple, very well off. Could have provided a wonderful home for a kid. Couldn't make it happen. They ended up losing about $50,000 and years of their time trying to make it happen.

Saddest news ever--- poor parents hope they can find some peace soon

[Shark01]

Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla

Adopting from Russia isn't possible anymore for Americans.

Very sad, we had wonderful experiences. Our oldest child is in process of selecting a college for her Bio-Medical Engineering degree, very proud of her.

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by whocares811

In 1996, we went the "foster-adopt" route in Colorado -- two half-siblings, then aged three and five, and we adopted them 15 months later. They were considered special needs (behavioral and emotional issues -- especially in the older one), and so we only had to pay the $160 adoption filing fees.

Have things really changed so much in only about 20 years?!

If so, I think that is shameful and outrageous!

No. Things have not changed all that much in 20 years. If you are willing to foster-adopt special needs kids, it's not expensive.

Hope it all worked out for your family!

[MrJones17]

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

"They" need more people to adopt older children, children with mental or physical disabilities, children who have been abused, children of nonwhite races, children who were born addicted to something...

But many people seeking to adopt are looking for healthy infants.

I mean, I can't really blame people for wanting healthy infants. Since most people can't afford to adopt healthy infants, it makes sense that you'd have to be extremely well off financially to afford a special needs child. I feel for those children though. It's tough.