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No, I gave a baby up for adoption many years ago. I filled out paperwork so that if my son wants to get in contact with me, (which would mean he'd have to fill out paperwork for the registry as well) he can do that.
Finally decided to do a search last March. The adoption agency found my birth mother in 2 days...took a few more weeks for the first contact. Email initially then I drove to meet her 5 states away last October.
We've met twice and I'm leaving tomorrow to go meet her again...and her whole family (first time for that). Its an amazing story.
Good luck. It's been a great ride emotionally over the last year. Finding out I had a 1/2 brother and sister that I've never known about...
Thank you. I really appreciate your warm words. In a way, I'm scared to death, but in another way...I miss him. I want to know about him. I want to see him and hug him.
So exciting! I registered on the adoption reunion site when I 1st started using a computer, 1999. They went thru all sorts of changes, at one time their upgrade lost all of my info so I had to join again. Everything there was free to find someone; with their latest upgrade they decided to charge people if they want to look at their match which ticks me and a lot of people off because we gave our information freely for 10+ years; we didn't do it for them to make money off of.
Back in 2004 we finally found my brother there. I've learned a lot over the years. My brother filled his application/ profile wrong so that he could only be found by searching the state with his DOB; that cost us 4 years!
You really should consider doing DNA too as a lot of adoptees are doing sites like 23 and me to find out health information. They're also told to do ancestry which has the largest DNA database.
See the //www.city-data.com/forum/genea...l#post54410538 thread, it should be going on sale again Mother's Day. Last year it was $59 but fathers day went to $69, so you never know what price it will be. The post I'm linking to also shows you how to use cash back sites.
Once you get your DNA back from Ancestry, see //www.city-data.com/forum/genea...l#post52497844. Scroll down to where it says Now to the DNA; I tell you how to upload to My Heritage for free family matching. For a fee (I believe $30) you can get access to surnames and trees of matches, matches by country which can be very useful if he's not in the US. FTDNA gives free family matching, for $19 you can get ethnicity, ancient ethnicity and chromosome browser. Note that they allow the FBI to also upload crime scene DNA. FTDNA is useful for you in case your son tries to do a Y-DNA to search the father line or an mtDNA test which will tell him your line if there is a match. There is also GEDmatch Genesis which supports uploads from 23 and me and smaller sites. If you have $100 I do suggest also testing at 23 and me where a lot of adoptees test to find their health information.
DNA is the way to go in addition to registering on all the adoption reunion sites listed in my blog. Some boys really do not care if they're adopted or not, so they do not all look. Some will look when they have kids while others may have some sort of health problem and look because of that. My brother was already in his 40's when he decided to fill out the form and he only did that because his 2 adopted sisters asked him to because they wanted to find their bio family. Had they not done that, he wouldn't have looked because he was totally happy with his adoptive parents. They were very nice and pretty well to do. He lucked out being adopted into a prestigious family. His father was an engineer who owned his own company, he was also a mayor of a very wealthy town in NJ.
Roselvr, I am SOOO sorry I haven't commented on your information before now! I appreciate so much, the information you've given me. I will consider everything you've told me here. Especially the adoption reunion site.
I am 'OK' if he doesn't contact me. Ultimately, I hope that he's happy and content, and if he is, I understand that he might not have a desire to reconnect. I get it, and I'm fine with that. I've corresponded with his adoptive mother, and she was kind. She sent me lots of pictures when he was a baby. I'm thankful for her, and I think she felt that way about me as well.
As I said, consider doing DNA at least at Ancestry DNA when it goes on sale for $59; uploading to the free sites; My Heritage and FTDNA which as I said, he very well could do Y-DNA or mtDNA at FTDNA to try to find out both lines. If he does do DNA, you're already there waiting.
If you watch the show Long Lost Family, a lot of adoptees find their family with DNA. Even when the parents are the ones on the show, their DNA is done because most states don't give access to adoption records; they find their kids are already there waiting.
Putting the stamp on the envelope, and putting the envelope in the mailbox seems inconsequential, but yet...could be a life changing thing.
Maybe nothing will come from it, but it might change my life. Scared and excited at the same time.
From someone who was adopted, I commend you for doing this. In my case, this wouldn't have made a bit of difference because the circumstances were extremely different, but it is nice for those who would benefit from this.
If your biological son does want to find you, the question of, "But will she want to hear from me?" will be answered. It's a big deal, and by placing your name on there, if he does seek it out, he'll know in advance. It takes a huge weight off of his shoulders. It doesn't mean he won't be anxious at all...but that's the biggest anxiety to get over, and you've helped simply by registering.
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