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Old 05-26-2020, 11:24 AM
 
82 posts, read 78,478 times
Reputation: 274

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Quote:
Originally Posted by aries63 View Post
Today marks three months since I applied to NYC, check still not cashed. Not surprised since there's probably nobody at work to process these requests. Non-essential.
Crazy times. It's over four months for me now and my check still hasn't been cashed. Another 7 weeks (6 months total) and the check is no longer valid. Wonder if the banks will waive the time limit or we will have to start the process all over again with an updated check? The cynic in me says the city will have us start over as a way to kick the can down the road.

In NYC, it's handled by Children's Services. While I can understand the processing of these applications aren't a priority for them, the department is still operating as an "essential" service. It would seem to make sense that applications and payments could at least be processed (if not actually combing through the warehouse for the old records). The backlog will only grow if nothing is done.

Also no excuse for not using the "lockdown" to get a proper online process up and running - that can easily be done via work from home.

Has anyone else here filed an application with NYC or NYS and had their check cashed? If done online through NYS, have you received any information or had your payment processed?
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Old 05-26-2020, 12:40 PM
 
Location: NJ
23,861 posts, read 33,533,504 times
Reputation: 30763
I'm sorry you guys are going thru this. Joe, I agree with you. They should be setting everything up during this virus to make it easier. It wouldn't surprise me if they have you restart the whole process if the checks expire. What a nightmare
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Old 05-26-2020, 02:22 PM
 
82 posts, read 78,478 times
Reputation: 274
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
I'm sorry you guys are going thru this. Joe, I agree with you. They should be setting everything up during this virus to make it easier. It wouldn't surprise me if they have you restart the whole process if the checks expire. What a nightmare
I've become pretty numb to the whole situation. I started searching several years ago. It's been a long string of carrots on sticks.
  • I looked on my own and found a lead in the NYC Birth Index. That went nowhere.
  • Worked with a great search angel. Some promising false starts that led nowhere.
  • Registered with all the DNA services. More dead ends.
  • Hired a service. They found me a name! Can't get the person to respond.
  • After months of trying, finally find a way to contact the person.. .who then firmly denies any possibility of being related.
  • More DNA connections come in and supports claim that above person is bmom or VERY closely related and should know _something_.
  • After years of trying, NYS passes law to open OBCs! - Legislature/Cuomo takes months to actually deliver/sign it, leaving the possibility that it won't be signed.
  • Bill is finally signed and January 15 rolls around. Except NYC has a third-world system and doesn't even acknowledge receipt or process payment. No way to know if they even received the application.
  • After sitting on an unopened application for two months, the world shuts down and any hope of processing the application in this lifetime gets flushed down a black hole.

I'm worn out from the process. I'm frustrated and angry. There's a woman I spoke with and am 99.9% sure she is my bmom. I'm 100% sure she lied to me, if not about that, then about knowing something. Unconscionable, in my mind.

This OBC debacle isn't the biggest deal. It's just adding insult on top of a long string of injury.

Sorry for the rant. It's one of those days. Two months of lockdown doesn't help. There are also some very HAPPY things going on in my family right now, and it annoys me that my ability to fully participate in that is tempered by the reminder of this big unanswered question because these current events connect me to this topic.
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Old 05-27-2020, 06:31 AM
 
Location: NJ
23,861 posts, read 33,533,504 times
Reputation: 30763
Quote:
Originally Posted by joef279 View Post
I've become pretty numb to the whole situation. I started searching several years ago. It's been a long string of carrots on sticks.
  • I looked on my own and found a lead in the NYC Birth Index. That went nowhere.
  • Worked with a great search angel. Some promising false starts that led nowhere.
  • Registered with all the DNA services. More dead ends.
  • Hired a service. They found me a name! Can't get the person to respond.
  • After months of trying, finally find a way to contact the person.. .who then firmly denies any possibility of being related.
  • More DNA connections come in and supports claim that above person is bmom or VERY closely related and should know _something_.
  • After years of trying, NYS passes law to open OBCs! - Legislature/Cuomo takes months to actually deliver/sign it, leaving the possibility that it won't be signed.
  • Bill is finally signed and January 15 rolls around. Except NYC has a third-world system and doesn't even acknowledge receipt or process payment. No way to know if they even received the application.
  • After sitting on an unopened application for two months, the world shuts down and any hope of processing the application in this lifetime gets flushed down a black hole.

I'm worn out from the process. I'm frustrated and angry. There's a woman I spoke with and am 99.9% sure she is my bmom. I'm 100% sure she lied to me, if not about that, then about knowing something. Unconscionable, in my mind.

This OBC debacle isn't the biggest deal. It's just adding insult on top of a long string of injury.

Sorry for the rant. It's one of those days. Two months of lockdown doesn't help. There are also some very HAPPY things going on in my family right now, and it annoys me that my ability to fully participate in that is tempered by the reminder of this big unanswered question because these current events connect me to this topic.
You have every right to feel the way you do. Vent away!

I've been advocating since 1999 when I came online. I happen to luck out that my brother registered on adoption reunion and we finally connected in 2004. I'd been registered on their site since they started. I lost my info many times during upgrades. My brother filled out his profile wrong, he could only be found using DOB and male, not state otherwise I would have found him a few years sooner. It blows my mind the site never matched us.

I never thought I'd see NJ open records up but they did. I have a DNA match on 23 and me that was put for adoption with his twin. I'm sure I figured out who his father is. I told him to order his records, he's working up the nerve. He also bought an ancestry DNA test months ago but hasn't sent it in yet. I don't know how his twin feels about the info I gave him.

I thought it would be a cold day in hell if NY ever opened their records. I'm still shocked that they have and am not surprised they have so many issues.

It sucks your biomother did that. Most bio mothers are more then happy to let the secret out but there's a handful like yours. Hopefully you'll figure out who your father is and will be welcomed.
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Old 08-11-2020, 08:58 AM
 
82 posts, read 78,478 times
Reputation: 274
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
I thought it would be a cold day in hell if NY ever opened their records. I'm still shocked that they have and am not surprised they have so many issues.
Wondering if anyone has heard of any updates (or success) with a NYC (or NYS) OBC request. According to the NYC Dept of Health website, it appears that they are processing BC requests (just not in person).

In one week it will be seven months since I submitted my paperwork. Still waiting for the check to clear. COVID or not, that's pretty bad.

The law may have changed, but it looks like hell is still pretty warm.
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Old 08-16-2020, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,373,059 times
Reputation: 25948
This is great. There is no reason an adopted person cannot see their own birth certificate.
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Old 08-17-2020, 07:46 PM
 
760 posts, read 767,962 times
Reputation: 1452
Quote:
Originally Posted by joef279 View Post
Wondering if anyone has heard of any updates (or success) with a NYC (or NYS) OBC request. According to the NYC Dept of Health website, it appears that they are processing BC requests (just not in person).

In one week it will be seven months since I submitted my paperwork. Still waiting for the check to clear. COVID or not, that's pretty bad.

The law may have changed, but it looks like hell is still pretty warm.

I sent my request in January, the state cashed my check pretty quick then Covid hit and they have closed down for several week, so very little was done for processing, but I got my NY OBC (state not city) June 29th.


Your check should have been cashed months ago, because there's a limit on outstanding checks, I understand it's 6 months from it's written date, I would follow up with them to be SURE they received your paperwork and funds. My check was cashed 2-3 weeks after they received it.



I guess I was expecting they would mail a certificate like the regular birth certificates, but it looks like a xerox copy of the whole page- page edges, shadows and all.


They also sent the final order of adoption, two copies that are curious, one has handwritten entries the other is typed instead, the birth dates/ages of my adoptive parents are wrong, and the 2 douments are even different from each other that way.
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Old 08-17-2020, 08:01 PM
 
760 posts, read 767,962 times
Reputation: 1452
[quote=joef279;58209745]
Quote:
  • Hired a service. They found me a name! Can't get the person to respond.
  • After months of trying, finally find a way to contact the person.. .who then firmly denies any possibility of being related.
  • More DNA connections come in and supports claim that above person is bmom or VERY closely related and should know _something_.
You never know what someones' situation might be, my adoptive parents told me they never knew anything about my birth parents, zip, nothing, it had me wondering from age 13 in the 70s to 3 years ago if maybe they were hiding something, like my birth mom was a rape victim, retarded, a prostitute, I had zero info to go on, not even a first name.
After finding mom thru ancestry I learned all the history and that my imagination was totally wrong, I also learned father was still alive and that they never married but kept up a 60 year friendship!
Mom turned out fantastic, father denied everything, would not budge, claimed I was a scammer, he didnt trust DNA and bla bla bla, in fact my appearing on scene caused their 60 year friendship to disolve because mom said he has changed for the worse and is no longer the sweet nice man she knew, he was lying to her, kept her and I a secret from his family, and then actively did everything he could to stop family members of his from communicating with me!
He went so far as to call my mom to tell her to "tell him" (me) to stop contacting "his" family or he would get out a "dossier" he claimed a friend in homeland security compiled on me LOL!!!! I sent him an email after that and told him he was full of bull, that I have nothing in MY background any fake "homeland security" friend would dig up, that I dont even have an arrest record, been at the same job here 22 years, own my home outright, that I passed a police background check for a concealed carry permit, and so on.


He shut up after that, and even tried to fool me with a FAKE "bounce, recipient unknown" on a return email OMG it was hilarious!
I taught internet, networking and computers, I know what a real bounced/failed email looks like and could tell he copy/pasted my message in a new email, changed the subject line and wrote in the first line "Bounced mail, recipient unknown" but the headers showed his email address and that it came from him LOL!



One family member stopped talking to me on facebook, my half brother will not talk to me as he doesnt want father's "wrath", a cousin called and said she wanted to be anon and no one to know she called, my brother's daughter- (my niece) was warned by my father and her father to not talk to me, but she did anyway and now we have a great friendship but secret from her father and grandfather.

I actually wound up locating my father's EX wife, mother of my brother, figuring she wouldn't be on father's "camp" and might talk to me, I was right, and she was so sweet on the phone and invited me to call again, she's admonished her son- my brother for his actions, she had given my niece my contact info, so she knew she would contact me of course.


It's been interesting that's for sure.

Last edited by Sculptor; 08-17-2020 at 08:09 PM..
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Old 08-18-2020, 04:50 PM
 
269 posts, read 480,577 times
Reputation: 719
[quote=Sculptor;58931192]
Quote:
Originally Posted by joef279 View Post
You never know what someones' situation might be, my adoptive parents told me they never knew anything about my birth parents, zip, nothing, it had me wondering from age 13 in the 70s to 3 years ago if maybe they were hiding something, like my birth mom was a rape victim, retarded, a prostitute, I had zero info to go on, not even a first name.
After finding mom thru ancestry I learned all the history and that my imagination was totally wrong, I also learned father was still alive and that they never married but kept up a 60 year friendship!
Mom turned out fantastic, father denied everything, would not budge, claimed I was a scammer, he didnt trust DNA and bla bla bla, in fact my appearing on scene caused their 60 year friendship to disolve because mom said he has changed for the worse and is no longer the sweet nice man she knew, he was lying to her, kept her and I a secret from his family, and then actively did everything he could to stop family members of his from communicating with me!
He went so far as to call my mom to tell her to "tell him" (me) to stop contacting "his" family or he would get out a "dossier" he claimed a friend in homeland security compiled on me LOL!!!! I sent him an email after that and told him he was full of bull, that I have nothing in MY background any fake "homeland security" friend would dig up, that I dont even have an arrest record, been at the same job here 22 years, own my home outright, that I passed a police background check for a concealed carry permit, and so on.


He shut up after that, and even tried to fool me with a FAKE "bounce, recipient unknown" on a return email OMG it was hilarious!
I taught internet, networking and computers, I know what a real bounced/failed email looks like and could tell he copy/pasted my message in a new email, changed the subject line and wrote in the first line "Bounced mail, recipient unknown" but the headers showed his email address and that it came from him LOL!



One family member stopped talking to me on facebook, my half brother will not talk to me as he doesnt want father's "wrath", a cousin called and said she wanted to be anon and no one to know she called, my brother's daughter- (my niece) was warned by my father and her father to not talk to me, but she did anyway and now we have a great friendship but secret from her father and grandfather.

I actually wound up locating my father's EX wife, mother of my brother, figuring she wouldn't be on father's "camp" and might talk to me, I was right, and she was so sweet on the phone and invited me to call again, she's admonished her son- my brother for his actions, she had given my niece my contact info, so she knew she would contact me of course.


It's been interesting that's for sure.
WOW! That's quite a story.
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Old 08-18-2020, 05:53 PM
 
82 posts, read 78,478 times
Reputation: 274
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sculptor View Post
I sent my request in January, the state cashed my check pretty quick then Covid hit and they have closed down for several week, so very little was done for processing, but I got my NY OBC (state not city) June 29th.


Your check should have been cashed months ago, because there's a limit on outstanding checks, I understand it's 6 months from it's written date, I would follow up with them to be SURE they received your paperwork and funds. My check was cashed 2-3 weeks after they received it.



I guess I was expecting they would mail a certificate like the regular birth certificates, but it looks like a xerox copy of the whole page- page edges, shadows and all.


They also sent the final order of adoption, two copies that are curious, one has handwritten entries the other is typed instead, the birth dates/ages of my adoptive parents are wrong, and the 2 douments are even different from each other that way.
Congratulations. That's the first good news I've heard about the process.

There have been others who posted here about sending in an application, but nothing about responses. @Aries63 posted a while back about three months passing with no check cashed.

Yes- checks are supposed to be invalid after six months. But who knows what the rules are under COVID and if the bank will look the other way for city deposits.

Reading your post more carefully... you mentioned the STATE cashed your check. My experience is that the state level has its act a little more together. My dealings with NYC have always taken years and involved numerous follow-ups.

Guess I'll reach out to NYC and see what they say. Nothing is easy.
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