Finding Biological Parents (birth, children)

[imdoneone]

My adopted daughter wants to meet her biological parents and sisters. We adopted three more daughters. What should I do?

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by imdoneone

My adopted daughter wants to meet her biological parents and sisters. We adopted three more daughters. What should I do?

First, how old is she? Do you know who her bio parents are?

Many adoptees want to know who their bio parents are for many reasons. The biggest is to see where they come from. Imagine being the adoptee; not looking like or being like your adoptive parents or siblings. Some adoptees are curious who they resemble, their mother, father or both. They're curious if they have any blood siblings to see what they look like.

These days some states are opening up adoption records to give adoptees access to their birth names and the names of their parents. Some only give certain information. Every state has different laws. What state was your daughter adopted from?

Even if states do not want to give adoptees access; many adoptees are finding their families with Ancestry DNA. They buy it when it's on sale for $59 then upload free to My Heritage, FTDNA and a public DNA matching site GEDmatch if they don't get a decent match at Ancestry. Many have lucked out at Ancestry because their DNA database is very large. They all give free family matching. This is referred to as "fishing in other ponds". That leaves 23 and me that they're not in; which they may end up getting when it goes on sale for the Christmas holiday. This can get messy if the bio parents aren't there. They may end up matching with a sibling that didn't know about them or an aunt or uncle that didn't know.

Once DNA family matching has been done, adoptees can join a FB group called DNA Detectives who will help them by building family trees from matches of any type of match from 1st cousin to 4th cousin. Obviously it gets more time consuming the farther away the match is but these search angels have been successful helping the adoptee.

So give us more information so we have a better idea of how to help you. How do you feel about her wanting contact? She (and your other adopted children) could do it with your help or without your help requesting her records if the state she's adopted in had opened adoption records or she can do it with DNA once she's 18 and legally old enough to search on her own.

[OPRFmama]

I’m adopted and was always curious about my biological parents. It’s totally natural and please don’t take it as her rejecting you. Do whatever you can to help her and be there to support her on this journey. I’m sure it’ll end up bringing you closer.

[CraigCreek]

How old are your four adopted daughters? Elsewhere, you wrote that you have three autistic granddaughters, ages 22, 23, and seven. Is the mother of these three granddaughters the daughter who wants to find her biological parents? If so, surely she is old enough to make this decision for herself, and I hope you will help her in whatever way you can.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by CraigCreek

How old are your four adopted daughters? Elsewhere, you wrote that you have three autistic granddaughters, ages 22, 23, and seven. Is the mother of these three granddaughters the daughter who wants to find her biological parents? If so, surely she is old enough to make this decision for herself, and I hope you will help her in whatever way you can.

She has 2 other threads in the adoption section. Hopefully she comes back. I repped her asking her to come back because she has replies.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by Roselvr

First, how old is she? Do you know who her bio parents are?

Many adoptees want to know who their bio parents are for many reasons. The biggest is to see where they come from. Imagine being the adoptee; not looking like or being like your adoptive parents or siblings. Some adoptees are curious who they resemble, their mother, father or both. They're curious if they have any blood siblings to see what they look like.

These days some states are opening up adoption records to give adoptees access to their birth names and the names of their parents. Some only give certain information. Every state has different laws. What state was your daughter adopted from?

Even if states do not want to give adoptees access; many adoptees are finding their families with Ancestry DNA. They buy it when it's on sale for $59 then upload free to My Heritage, FTDNA and a public DNA matching site GEDmatch if they don't get a decent match at Ancestry. Many have lucked out at Ancestry because their DNA database is very large. They all give free family matching. This is referred to as "fishing in other ponds". That leaves 23 and me that they're not in; which they may end up getting when it goes on sale for the Christmas holiday. This can get messy if the bio parents aren't there. They may end up matching with a sibling that didn't know about them or an aunt or uncle that didn't know.

Once DNA family matching has been done, adoptees can join a FB group called DNA Detectives who will help them by building family trees from matches of any type of match from 1st cousin to 4th cousin. Obviously it gets more time consuming the farther away the match is but these search angels have been successful helping the adoptee.

So give us more information so we have a better idea of how to help you. How do you feel about her wanting contact? She (and your other adopted children) could do it with your help or without your help requesting her records if the state she's adopted in had opened adoption records or she can do it with DNA once she's 18 and legally old enough to search on her own.

I forgot to include the link to my thread //www.city-data.com/forum/genea...l#post52497844 scroll to now to the DNA it gives links to each company and tells how to upload to the free sites.