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Old 08-16-2021, 09:17 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
24,096 posts, read 32,443,737 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJ Brazen_3133 View Post
A lot of that change in tude is in part due to Western MSM portraying child mothers are cool, and heroic, and strong in their countless TV dramas, and movies.
don't agree with you a lot, but I do here. Shows like "Teen Moms" glamorize single motherhood, unwittingly perhaps, but they do.

ALSO many Crisis Pregnancy Centers for some reason do not encourage teenagers to relinquish their babies. I find this unfathomable. I know their purpose is to dissuade your women from terminating their pregnancies, but one would think that they would encourage adoption.

Some of these places act as though they will always be there to help. They throw baby showers, give gifts and treat the girls as though they have won an award. They have not They had sex outside of wedlock, did not use protection, and became pregnant.

Three young lives ruined. It is so sad to me.
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Old 08-17-2021, 07:21 AM
 
322 posts, read 316,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoisite View Post
I think it's important to not lose sight of what this topic is about. It's about no babies available to adopt. I read the full article posted by OP and it gives many valid reasons for why there's a decrease in babies to adopt and even for why there's a decrease in all births in general.

So no babies available for prospective adoptive parents. What are they going to do about it? What other options do they have? Will they give up on the idea of adopting altogether? Will they go get puppies instead to be members of their 'forever family' (as the term is used in that article)?

There are no guarantees of any parents keeping their children whether or not they are adopted, fostered or their own birth children. It's a risk that all parents have to take, knowing that they might lose a child at any time in the snap of the fingers due to circumstances beyond the parents' control. They still take the risk.

That's why I say that people who want to adopt because they really want children to nurture and look after, but can't adopt because of no adoptive babies available, they can still foster children who are already in the system and that's including the children who are disabled. Just because the parents can't 'own' those children shouldn't disqualify those children from being given a chance of love and nurture for a month, a year, several years or even for forever.

The analogy about preschool teachers or childcare workers has no bearing on fostering or adopting. Preschool teachers or childcare workers are paid employees who don't take their young charges home with them to nurture them at the end of the work day and they don't raise them and influence them as their own personal responsibilities and members of their families. That's what parents are supposed to do.

The children that I fostered were treated and raised the same way as my own birth children were and they are still members of my forever family. Even the ones that were eventually taken from my care and returned to their rehabilitated parents are still members of my forever family. They all still call me mom and their own children still call me grandma.

I know of some parents who fostered unadoptable children and then they adopted their foster kids after the kids turned 18 and had aged out of the system.

.
IMHO, the key takeaway from this article is that a well-known adoption lawyer that defends numerous adoption agencies from fraud and deceptive practices lawsuits has publicly stated that their are no infants available for adoption via domestic infant adoption agencies in the US.

And yet, all of these US domestic infant adoption agencies are recruiting hopeful adoptive couples at a fevered pace. According to this attorney, adoptions are down from a high of 18,000 per year to 50% less of that number. (9,000 domestic infant adoptions for all 50 states in the US). A million or more hopeful adoptive couples paying an average of $30,000 or more for a chance to adopt one of these non-existent children. Lawyers paid hundred of thousands of dollars to defend these agencies by saying these couples knew what they were signing and knew that there were no infants available for adoption. And somehow all this is legal and the the adoption professionals are society's heroes for saving all these non-existent babies and finding them homes with adoptive families.

Foster care adoption. Is there foster care adoption? In my county, foster care is about fostering children until their biological parents are capable for parents their children. It is clearly not about non-related adoptions. God bless and keep couples that only want to be foster parents with no chance to adopt a child. I'm not aware of any couples like that in my county. All want children to add to their family. No ones understands why children die in foster care or age out of foster care with so many families wanting to adopt. But the foster care agency just does not support adoption and places so many barriers (failure to petition for termination of parental rights, hiding children, misreporting time spent in foster, etc.) Lastly, the advertising for foster care is misleading. Is there really 400,000 children available for adoption in foster care? How many of these children are legally free for adoption? Why is long term foster care still consider a permanency options for most of the children in foster care. Do we really want US domestic infant adoption agencies and all of their problems pushing foster care adoptions on hopeful adoptive families that they were not able to find an infant for?
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Old 08-17-2021, 07:31 AM
 
9,850 posts, read 7,716,018 times
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One of my dear friends has 4 grandchildren. All 3 of her children (2 daughters and a son) had children out of wedlock and kept them. None of them are still dating the other birth parent. The extended family is all helping with the children - there's a lot of love there.

It's certainly not ideal but I can understand how a family would not want to give up a grandchild/great grandchild because of an unintended pregnancy.

I also was a surprise and my mom kept me.
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Old 08-17-2021, 07:37 AM
 
9,850 posts, read 7,716,018 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xy340 View Post

Foster care adoption. Is there foster care adoption? In my county, foster care is about fostering children until their biological parents are capable for parents their children. It is clearly not about non-related adoptions. God bless and keep couples that only want to be foster parents with no chance to adopt a child. I'm not aware of any couples like that in my county. All want children to add to their family. No ones understands why children die in foster care or age out of foster care with so many families wanting to adopt. But the foster care agency just does not support adoption and places so many barriers (failure to petition for termination of parental rights, hiding children, misreporting time spent in foster, etc.) Lastly, the advertising for foster care is misleading. Is there really 400,000 children available for adoption in foster care? How many of these children are legally free for adoption? Why is long term foster care still consider a permanency options for most of the children in foster care. Do we really want US domestic infant adoption agencies and all of their problems pushing foster care adoptions on hopeful adoptive families that they were not able to find an infant for?
Yes there is foster care adoption. We have 3 grandchildren adopted from foster care.
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Old 08-17-2021, 08:01 AM
 
322 posts, read 316,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG View Post
Yes there is foster care adoption. We have 3 grandchildren adopted from foster care.
Recently, or were they adopt several years ago? Policies have changed a great deal in the last five years.

I don't want to take away from the joy and happiness that your grandchildren have brought you, but foster care adoption is changing and it is not for the better.
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Old 08-17-2021, 08:20 AM
 
14,299 posts, read 11,681,163 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xy340 View Post
IMHO, the key takeaway from this article is that a well-known adoption lawyer that defends numerous adoption agencies from fraud and deceptive practices lawsuits has publicly stated that there are no infants available for adoption via domestic infant adoption agencies in the US.
Well, this isn't true. There are always going to be SOME babies available to adopt. My sister adopted two infants in the US, and our good friends adopted two more. It's just that people hoping to adopt have to get rid of the idea that all they need to do is to get their name on a list and be patient, and sooner or later, their number will come up and it will be their turn.

It isn't like that at all. Prospective adoptive families have to "sell" themselves to the birth mother, who is handed a number of portfolios of couples who all appear to be the most ideal people to parent an infant who have ever walked this earth. But it's entirely possible and even likely that after a couple spends all the money and time to sign up with an agency and prepare an enticing portfolio, no birth mother will ever select them as parents for her baby.
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Old 08-17-2021, 09:10 AM
 
9,850 posts, read 7,716,018 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xy340 View Post
Recently, or were they adopt several years ago? Policies have changed a great deal in the last five years.

I don't want to take away from the joy and happiness that your grandchildren have brought you, but foster care adoption is changing and it is not for the better.
It was about 5 years ago. I have friends that run a charity to support fostering and adoption and they have also adopted from foster care. Two different states.
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Old 08-17-2021, 10:00 AM
 
322 posts, read 316,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
Well, this isn't true. There are always going to be SOME babies available to adopt. My sister adopted two infants in the US, and our good friends adopted two more. It's just that people hoping to adopt have to get rid of the idea that all they need to do is to get their name on a list and be patient, and sooner or later, their number will come up and it will be their turn.

It isn't like that at all. Prospective adoptive families have to "sell" themselves to the birth mother, who is handed a number of portfolios of couples who all appear to be the most ideal people to parent an infant who have ever walked this earth. But it's entirely possible and even likely that after a couple spends all the money and time to sign up with an agency and prepare an enticing portfolio, no birth mother will ever select them as parents for her baby.
So I'm going to have to disagree with that. We represent a number of clients in states where it is illegal to advertise or "sell themselves to a birthmother." The adoption agency is the one legal entity allowed to advertise to birthmothers. The agencies take on a large number of hopeful adoptive couples and are NOT able to find them matches. Statements like average wait times of "5 months, or you'll have a baby by Christmas" clearly set the timetable that these agencies cannot meet. After 4 or 5 years, the agency dismisses they couples, stating they are too old or unmatchable. No refunds are ever issued.

I'm glad that your sister and your sister's friend were successful in their adoption attempts. I would like to see all couples that are accepted by adoption agencies be successful. I cannot imagine the pain and grief of not being able to bring home an infant and being defrauded out of $30,000 to $70,000 dollars.
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Old 08-17-2021, 10:04 AM
 
322 posts, read 316,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG View Post
It was about 5 years ago. I have friends that run a charity to support fostering and adoption and they have also adopted from foster care. Two different states.
I'm glad that works that way in your state. Unfortunately, not all states are as successful with foster care adoptions. We have clients where their county of residence has not done a non-related adoption in ten years. This is even after multiple violations of the Adoption and Safe Family Act. But yet, the foster care agency continues to certify couples as foster-approved homes and then fail to give them placements. At the very least this is defrauding the federal government who provided funding to certify foster families.
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Old 08-17-2021, 06:03 PM
 
14,299 posts, read 11,681,163 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xy340 View Post
So I'm going to have to disagree with that. We represent a number of clients in states where it is illegal to advertise or "sell themselves to a birthmother." The adoption agency is the one legal entity allowed to advertise to birthmothers. The agencies take on a large number of hopeful adoptive couples and are NOT able to find them matches. Statements like average wait times of "5 months, or you'll have a baby by Christmas" clearly set the timetable that these agencies cannot meet. After 4 or 5 years, the agency dismisses they couples, stating they are too old or unmatchable. No refunds are ever issued.
The "advertising," if you want to call it that, is done through a licensed agency. not directly from the would-be adoptive parents to the birth mother. And yes, agencies will accept a large number of portfolios, or, nowadays, videos, so birth mothers have hundreds of couples to choose from for their one baby. Statistics alone tells you that since there are at least two million couples waiting to adopt infants in the US, most of them will never be able to adopt through this means.

My sister adopted two newborns, but both of them were private adoptions. Before that, they had been planning to adopt internationally, because the chance of being selected for an infant in the US was just too small.
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