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Old 06-04-2016, 05:11 AM
 
1,056 posts, read 1,250,075 times
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wow. Yeah, simple and profound.
I am one of those persons who worries and worries about what I said, and what they said and what I shoulda said -- etc etc etc.....
and now what do they think of me..



Quote:
Originally Posted by freedomdove View Post
My mom read most of Wayne's books, and she passed the basic knowledge on to me. I don't actually remember reading any of his books, but his work has had such a profound effect on my mom that I just learned to listen to her. Lol. I think he was a great motivational speaker, and he will be missed by many. That's not to say that he never wrote anything contradictory. I really don't know about that. What came through to me was the good stuff which I needed to learn. One of my favorite quotes of his was: "What other people think of you is none of your business". Simple, yet profound.
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Old 06-04-2016, 05:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
I've enjoyed Dyer's works for many years. A good man who made a lot of sense. I've been working on myself for mucho years. Keeping a balance and where one is in their lives.
"Mucho years" being key. lol.

When I was younger I thot that these issues would be 'resolved' by the time I reached my advanced age!
not true.
As I also posted in the 'non-romantic relationship' forum, I have a hard time balancing between being assertive in a reasonable way, and being a PIA.
I just don't know how to determine that balance.

Wayne Dyer really caught me when he says if one is always being irritable and blaming others, that is a result of one's life being out of balance.
well, that is me - on both counts.

and the solution acc to him is to see Spirit in the other person.

But when someone hurts you, it is hard to see Spirit in them.
It is more that I want to defend myself and .. yes.. strike back.

This is why - even tho I am getting enormous value from reading this book, I feel frustrated and wish I could ask him--
Surely he is not counseling us to be doormats?
If someone treats us disrespectfully surely we should speak up for ourselves?

I'd appreciate hearing from anyone what your view is...I am not clear. and I'd like to be clear.
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Old 06-04-2016, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Midwest, USA
706 posts, read 548,533 times
Reputation: 623
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellenrr View Post
wow. Yeah, simple and profound.
I am one of those persons who worries and worries about what I said, and what they said and what I shoulda said -- etc etc etc.....
and now what do they think of me..
I really had a problem with this in my youth. I didn't want to care what other people thought of me, but I did. It took many years for me to get out of that frame of mind. I know what I'm doing is right and I won't let people's opinions bother me. I'm a good person, and that's what matters to me. If I make mistakes, I admit them and apologize (if needed), and I learn from them. If I thought that other people had merit in what they thought of me, I would try to see myself from their point of view. If they don't like something about me, I try to figure out what that is. If it's something I'm fine with, then I ignore them. If they're truly showing me something I don't like about myself then I just change myself. It's not always easy, but it's doable.

Last edited by freedomdove; 06-04-2016 at 10:22 AM..
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Old 06-04-2016, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Midwest, USA
706 posts, read 548,533 times
Reputation: 623
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellenrr View Post
"Mucho years" being key. lol.

When I was younger I thot that these issues would be 'resolved' by the time I reached my advanced age!
not true.
As I also posted in the 'non-romantic relationship' forum, I have a hard time balancing between being assertive in a reasonable way, and being a PIA.
I just don't know how to determine that balance.

Wayne Dyer really caught me when he says if one is always being irritable and blaming others, that is a result of one's life being out of balance.
well, that is me - on both counts.

and the solution acc to him is to see Spirit in the other person.

But when someone hurts you, it is hard to see Spirit in them.
It is more that I want to defend myself and .. yes.. strike back.

This is why - even tho I am getting enormous value from reading this book, I feel frustrated and wish I could ask him--
Surely he is not counseling us to be doormats?
If someone treats us disrespectfully surely we should speak up for ourselves?

I'd appreciate hearing from anyone what your view is...I am not clear. and I'd like to be clear.
It can be incredibly hard to see Spirit in some people because they are so dark. I doubt Dyer wanted anyone to be a doormat. You should definitely speak up for yourself if you're being wronged by someone. Striking back may not be appropriate, but you should consider removing yourself from situations that are harmful or unproductive or unloving, if at all possible. Let's face it, some people are not of the type that it takes to be assertive and stand up for oneself. The best you can do in that situation is to leave and put yourself in a place where you're comfortable. I avoid going places that are filled with people who are very much unlike me. I avoid people that I don't mesh with, whenever possible. If I have to be around them, I just stay as calm as possible. However, my personality doesn't allow for me to be a doormat. I will stand my ground if I know I'm in the right or if I know that someone is trying to use or abuse me. Yes, it did take years to get here (and a few abusive relationships), but I'm glad I made it. Lol.
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Old 07-27-2016, 12:06 PM
 
Location: East Texas
506 posts, read 519,201 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
I've enjoyed Dyer's works for many years. A good man who made a lot of sense. I've been working on myself for mucho years. Keeping a balance and where one is in their lives.
I've never read any of his books but I saw him on Oprah. He was saying he was diagnosed with cancer. Soon after that he was walking down the street and collapsed. At that moment he said, "I knew then I was cured." He died shortly afterwards. Sweet man.
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Old 08-01-2016, 04:26 AM
 
1,056 posts, read 1,250,075 times
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Dyer says about dreams:

"Give your dreams a place to hang out on the balance scale so you can see them in your imagination and they can soak up the energy they deserve."

(I have notes I took from his book "Keeping in Balance" - the only one I read.
I keep them with me and like to read them.)


Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
Could it have been his first book? I know of it but don't think I ever read it. Watched Wayne often on PBS. He was/is a great motivator. I've done so much motivation work over my life. Many of my dreams never materialized but they were there...
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Old 08-01-2016, 04:31 AM
 
1,056 posts, read 1,250,075 times
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interesting that he changed your life, and your husband's.
He changed mine too - and I never said that about any book!
(even tho when I was younger I used to haunt the 'self-help' aisle in the book-store.)

happy for you and your good relationship.

for me - I used to get severely depressed, often.
He has changed that for me. (which years of therapy did not. lol)
I am much more positive now.
I am more able to see that I am responsible for my life. I blame others much less.
I try to remember to see the spiritual in every person
(altho that is a hard one for me.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by greyhorsewoman View Post
Your Erroneous Zones, Pulling Your Own Strings, and The Sky's The Limit .... read them in the 70's after watching him on daytime talk show, where he became somewhat of a regular. It changed my life and my husband's. May be somewhat responsible for us building a happy 44 year long relationship (and still going). I followed him after that, read a few more of his books along the way and even saw him lecture once in a town near where I live.

I still recommend the three books listed above. I reread parts of them now and again.
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Old 08-01-2016, 04:35 AM
 
1,056 posts, read 1,250,075 times
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I agree with you.
I also do not have the personality to be a doormat!

It is easier for me to speak up for myself when I am coming from self-love as opposed to coming from hating, or being angry with, the other person.
Of course, I am not a saint!
There are times when I lose it, and I say things I feel are over-the-top. But those times are less often. I feel that reading Dyer, plus meditation, I am learning to be in the moment, and not lose control bec. someone disrespects me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by freedomdove View Post
It can be incredibly hard to see Spirit in some people because they are so dark. I doubt Dyer wanted anyone to be a doormat. You should definitely speak up for yourself if you're being wronged by someone. Striking back may not be appropriate, but you should consider removing yourself from situations that are harmful or unproductive or unloving, if at all possible. Let's face it, some people are not of the type that it takes to be assertive and stand up for oneself. The best you can do in that situation is to leave and put yourself in a place where you're comfortable. I avoid going places that are filled with people who are very much unlike me. I avoid people that I don't mesh with, whenever possible. If I have to be around them, I just stay as calm as possible. However, my personality doesn't allow for me to be a doormat. I will stand my ground if I know I'm in the right or if I know that someone is trying to use or abuse me. Yes, it did take years to get here (and a few abusive relationships), but I'm glad I made it. Lol.
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Old 08-29-2016, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
910 posts, read 2,006,158 times
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Even though as a (struggling) Christian I couldn't agree with everything he said, he was of enormous help to me at a time when I really needed it. I had actually prayed desperately to God for help in trying to understand the death by cancer of my dearest uncle and then that night I "happened" onto one of his lectures on PBS, both channels that I got on cable, so I knew I should stop and listen even though for years I'd been warned about "New Age" stuff. As if he were speaking to me he said after just a couple of minutes of watching that no amount of tears (and grief) could possibly bring back someone we'd lost and that helped me deal with some guilt that I was feeling over not having called my uncle during his last few months of life (I just couldn't handle it so I kept putting it off). A couple of weeks later I got the news that my own mother (his sister) had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and his advise helped me cope with it and also with how it affected her when I went to help take care of her. She was really mean to me at one point, and her cruel and careless words had always had a profound effect on my self-esteem but the VHS tape I recorded of Dr. Dyer's lecture ("The Power of Intention") helped me deal with it. As if by coincidence, I found 2 of his first books among my uncle's possesions which were in my mother's apartment because he'd lived there before he died and I regretted not having read them later even though I'd seen them everywhere during the late '70s.

In 2005 I went to Hay House Radio - Radio For Your Soul where he had a weekly show, I found the link in the back of "The Power of Intention" book which I ordered online some time after recording the PBS show. One day I even called and was lucky enough to get to ask him a question about dealing with depression and his advice made so much sense that it helped me a lot. I later downloaded the show in MP3 and listened to it later on until a back-up portable hard drive my son sent me with my files from a netbook that crashed also failed. That same year another one of his books helped have strength while I sat by my father's death bed, and it helped me get through the following days when I was angry at my sisters for the way they'd treated him. I went on to read at least a couple more of his books after that and always gained something useful from each one of them, I also watched a couple more PBS specials, so it was a shock to learn about his death but I'll always remember him fondly and if by chance he was not right about Jesus/the Bible, I hope God will have mercy on his soul (as well as on mine).
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Old 08-29-2016, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Southern California
28,189 posts, read 10,990,988 times
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I'm glad you got a lot of support from Wayne Dyer. He gave me support as did many other "new age" thinkers. This is the new age we live in and I choose this thinking vs thinking from the in the dark ages. Take care, glad you make your comments.
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