I miss Arizona... Anyone move away and move back? (Phoenix: renting, house)
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It sounds like you're suffering from a classic case of "relocation depression." It's an actual social anxiety disorder - look it up.
Once the bags are unpacked at your new home and the general sense of newness of your new locale begins to fade, you begin to long for your previous home because, for so long, that was pretty much all you knew, in essence.
It doesn't matter how amazing or awful your situation/disposition was in your previous home, you tend to focus on all of the positive attributes, even if they weren't very many, to the point where you become overwhelmed with nostalgia and develop a deep longing for your old home.
Some people even spiral downward to the point of clinical depression, especially if their new home isn't as nice as their previous home, in their perception.
But for the time being, let's NOT focus on the bad. Instead, let's concentrate on what your new home has to offer you.
You are now living in one of the most amazing, dynamic metropolitan areas, not only in the United States, but in the entire world, anchored by quite possibly the coolest city on the planet (San Francisco). The job market of the Bay Area is exponentially better than that of Phoenix and much of the rest of the country, TBH. Salaries and wages are much more competitive there, and non-wage benefits are better and more comprehensive. There's a much greater potential for career advancement and upward social mobility in the Bay Area relative to Phoenix.
I doubt you wouldn't have picked up and left your cushy life in Phoenix to move to the Bay Area for a job opportunity if you weren't in-tuned to all of that.
IMO, the weather of the Bay Area is much, much more pleasant relative to the weather of Phoenix. The scenery is much more stunning and the location, much more enticing. The people are friendlier, more polite and more engaging. The overall attitude/mindset is way more progressive, socially responsible, politically inclined and community-oriented.
There is an endless of array of things to do, from physical/outdoors to cultural to local/regional travel - you name it, the Bay Area's got it.
Everything is just - better - in coastal California.
Who cares if you had to downsize? A home is a place where you sleep. This statement is especially true in the Bay Area, where the weather is too nice and there's too much to do/going on for anyone to have the desire of being cooped up in their house all day long like people in Phoenix.
That's the biggest difference, IMO, and I see you're struggling with that. Perhaps a city in Texas or the Midwest would have been a better fit for you? What was the impetus for accepting the job in Bay Area? We live in an enormous country, and there are a lot of other cities like Phoenix, where housing is cheap and people spend the entire day cooped up in their homes.
To give you an idea of my situation, I happily moved away from Arizona in August 2014 and haven't looked back since.
I'm a very sociable person, so for me, living in Arizona was torturous. The transient nature of the population (no one seems to live in Arizona for more than 3-5 years), the "isolation factor" (i.e., going from house to garaged car with dark tinted windows to office, and vice versa), virtually non-existent pedestrian traffic, lack of interest and involvement in community activities and events, the general disinterest in community betterment projects and initiatives, "zombie-like" service people (try joking with a server at a restaurant or a cashier in a checkout line - you'll get a blank stare), reclusive neighbors, unfriendly co-workers, etc. made Arizona a living nightmare for me personally.
Although I'm sorry to hear you don't have many friends left in Arizona, despite having lived there for a nearly a decade, I'm glad that you brought that up. There seems to be a lack of awareness or sensitivity to the pretty lousy social climate of Arizona on this forum, and I think that if people from more established areas of the country were to realize that, they would be less inclined to consider or choose Arizona as a potential relocation destination. Food for thought.
This might be one of the best posts ever written on C-D.
As someone who lived and worked in the Bay area for a brief period, let me share some insight. SF is a wonderful city but many young people tend to run into the same problems. Like aspiring actors who move to Hollywood claiming that he or she will become rich and famous in the film industry, people move to SF to live the "dream". Many move there thinking they are wealthy because they are surrounded by wealthy people. What often happens is these people find they cannot afford to live there. They have 3 roommates that share a crummy apartment because the rent is high. There only other options are to live outside of the city in a place like Concord or Walnut Creek which is considerably cheaper but then they are not really living the SF lifestyle. The area is also incredibly saturated and competitive. So like aspiring actors, most people who move to the Bay area thinking they will hit it rich but they don't. They think they will join the next Google or tech company or maybe the next venture capital company. What happens is they end up working for Starbucks or another retail company for barely above minimum wage. But they tolerate all of this because they have brainwashed themselves into thinking they have increased access to upward social mobility and the arts. They have no savings because whatever little money they make goes toward entertainment. Dining is expensive. Museums are expensive. Wine tasting is expensive. And because the wealthy flaunt their possessions, people who have no business buying things they can't afford do just that. They will buy expensive clothes, dinners, tickets and justify this of course. They will say "Yes, but I live in a fabulous city" They will do this for another 3-4 years. Their parents are probably sending them money which they will not acknowledge to anyone other than themselves. But at some point, the gravy train stops. In addition, the dreams stop. They come back down to reality. They realize they cannot afford to drink 100 dollar bottles of wine. They realize they are not going to become tech millionaires, wealthy real estate agents, financial gurus or marry rich. Then they look at other cities like Phoenix. They realized they just wasted 5-10 years of their life living a lie. They move back to Phoenix but they will tell their new friends how they lived a glamorous life and how wonderful their previous city was, and how they can't wait to move back. But they never do.
There was another thread similar to this one back a page or two.
I am a native of the CSSR (hate to admit it) and lived all over the southern half. Then I moved to Arizona. Wow. Now I live in the PNW but visit Arizona almost every year. I cannot wait to move back.
I lived in little 'ole Willcox for 3-4 years and moved away in the spring of 2010. I am thinking of retiring somewhere in Arizona in a little under 6 years, Lord willin' and the creek don't rise. I am starting to consider coming back to Willcox - it is near a few beautiful places I love to hike in, the old Fort Bowie ruins and the gorgeous Chiricahua Mountains. Plus, it's not far (80 miles) from Tucson, which I love. Everything you might want in a store or entertainment is in Tucson and if your favorite entertainer doesn't visit Tucson they'll probably go to Phoenix, only 120 miles north of Tucson. Counting the months down until I can come back to Arizona.
Alamogordo, NM, is on our list, too. Another place we've lived at that we can see ourselves retiring in.
What's there to like about AZ? I moved here from CA and I don't like it. I don't like the heat and I don't like the roaches. I'm sorry. I can't find much to like out here so far. I met my bf out here, that is the only reason that I am still here.
After living in AZ for almost a decade, I moved to the SF Bay area due to employment. I currently rent out my home and went from living in a 2000 sq ft home to a 1 bedroom apt, 700 sq ft and rent is twice my mortgage. I haven't been here long - barely a few weeks. I miss Arizona so much. I don't know what to do. I miss my beautiful house. Although I didnt have many friends due to AZ's transient nature, the few I had I miss immensely. In my mind, I compare AZ to CA constantly. Has anyone else moved away and miss AZ? Has anyone returned? Please share your stories to help me cope. Thank you.
I 1st moved to AZ in 1969, I was only 18. Meet my 1st wife and got married. We decided to move to Indiana where I was from. After one winter my wife convinced me to move back to Arizona, she was right.
We moved to San Joe Ca when we were in our 30's for a job transferred. Loved it in San Jose, cooler weather and lots of places and things to see and do, but was pretty expense. We live in an old house that was like 50 year old and the rent was twice as much as our new house in Phoenix. After 2 years in San Jose we moved back. We had a great time in San Jose, it was like being on vacation for the 2 years we were there.
We really missed our family and friends in Arizona.
I been in Arizona now for 45 years. I have gone to Canada, Alaska, Hawaii, Caribbean and all over the US,
I still like arizona the place where there are all kinds of outdoor things to do. When its hot in the summer we visit the high country in Arizona, lots of lakes and the largest Ponderosa forest in the world.
I will probably be here for ever.
What's there to like about AZ? I moved here from CA and I don't like it. I don't like the heat and I don't like the roaches. I'm sorry. I can't find much to like out here so far. I met my bf out here, that is the only reason that I am still here.
Hmmm, if you just stay in the cities and don't get out to explore the state then I see where you might feel that way. However, if you venture out I think you might feel different.
What's there to like about AZ? I moved here from CA and I don't like it. I don't like the heat and I don't like the roaches. I'm sorry. I can't find much to like out here so far. I met my bf out here, that is the only reason that I am still here.
No reason to be sorry. I can understand you not liking an area for whatever reason(s) but you went out of your way to mention roaches as a primary reason for not liking AZ? Perhaps you have an infestation where you live that needs addressing. I live with natural/open desert surrounding me with desert wildlife galore and I rarely see roaches anywhere on our property. Never seen one in our house.
It sounds like you're suffering from a classic case of "relocation depression." It's an actual social anxiety disorder - look it up.
Give me the med, give me the med the masses cry!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belmont_Boy
You are now living in one of the most amazing, dynamic metropolitan areas, not only in the United States, but in the entire world, anchored by quite possibly the coolest city on the planet (San Francisco). The job market of the Bay Area is exponentially better than that of Phoenix and much of the rest of the country, TBH. Salaries and wages are much more competitive there, and non-wage benefits are better and more comprehensive. There's a much greater potential for career advancement and upward social mobility in the Bay Area relative to Phoenix.
I doubt you wouldn't have picked up and left your cushy life in Phoenix to move to the Bay Area for a job opportunity if you weren't in-tuned to all of that.
IMO, the weather of the Bay Area is much, much more pleasant relative to the weather of Phoenix. The scenery is much more stunning and the location, much more enticing. The people are friendlier, more polite and more engaging. The overall attitude/mindset is way more progressive, socially responsible, politically inclined and community-oriented.
There is an endless of array of things to do, from physical/outdoors to cultural to local/regional travel - you name it, the Bay Area's got it.
Everything is just - better - in coastal California.
But if only the middle class(ie most of the people in this country) could only afford to live there:
If the middle class leaving in what you define as "everything is just - better - in Coastal California", well, we agree to disagree on the definition of "better". Why is this "better"? If you make millions of $ a year in your job, I can understand your view. But the vast majority of people don't and are middle class. And can't afford a comfortable existence though I suppose "comfortable" is relative. Look up rent in tiny apartments/dwellings in SF....I don't call that quality "living".
As for the weather....that's your view that it's more "pleasant". To me it's far to damp/humid, often cloudy and foggy, with temps too cool for my liking. A bit too depressing overall but I understand "pleasant" is relative from person to person. I have a good friend that moved from Napa Valley where she grew up to the Phoenix metro and she hated the weather in that area too. As for scenery, again, that's also in the eye of the beholder. If you can't see any beauty in AZ at all the state and national parks/around the Phoenix metro in the open desert that surrounds us, well, I don't know what to say.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belmont_Boy
I'm a very sociable person, so for me, living in Arizona was torturous. The transient nature of the population (no one seems to live in Arizona for more than 3-5 years), the "isolation factor" (i.e., going from house to garaged car with dark tinted windows to office, and vice versa), virtually non-existent pedestrian traffic, lack of interest and involvement in community activities and events, the general disinterest in community betterment projects and initiatives, "zombie-like" service people (try joking with a server at a restaurant or a cashier in a checkout line - you'll get a blank stare), reclusive neighbors, unfriendly co-workers, etc. made Arizona a living nightmare for me personally.
Although I'm sorry to hear you don't have many friends left in Arizona, despite having lived there for a nearly a decade, I'm glad that you brought that up. There seems to be a lack of awareness or sensitivity to the pretty lousy social climate of Arizona on this forum, and I think that if people from more established areas of the country were to realize that, they would be less inclined to consider or choose Arizona as a potential relocation destination. Food for thought.
Yes, AZ and the Phoenix metro has a transient population. But so does CA, probably just as much as AZ if not more so with many people leaving for other states or back to one's "home" state so I'm a bit confused on why you don't mention this aspect about CA in regards to relationships?
As for the "reclusive neighbors, unfriendly co-workers, etc. made Arizona a living nightmare for me personally.",I've had the exact opposite experience living here for many years. Overall I've found people in the Phoenix metro to be very friendly. And easy going. And I don't get "blank stares" when I joke with people in the checkout lines/servers at restaurants...perhaps your jokes are really bad? I see my neighbor's and friends that I've met through other friends frequently and we often see each other outside and talk about this or that often, even in the summer. I'm a musician and every few weeks we have big live music parties at different friends houses and have a great time. You indeed might be in a neighborhood pocket of not so friendly people where you live. That happens. But when one makes statements like you have above(in bold) and find everybody you meet in Phoenix/AZ across the board as you describe, may I respectively suggest you look within and see what perhaps you might be doing to elicit such a response from other people. It could simply be you are very unhappy here(now how did I guess that?) and radiate that out to other people so you can further strengthen your view that it's the place and give yourself more reasons to ultimately leave?
And I wonder......if you don't like it in the Phoenix metro for whatever reason(s) and are miserable, why are you still here?
god I miss AZ everyday. I live in dirty Jersey and hate it.. I lived in AZ back in the 80's.I lived in Jersey my whole life then one day my family just said lets move west, in October of 1988 we sold everything packed the uhual and 3 cars and had a caravan and drove to AZ.. we ended up renting a nice house in Glendale for about 6 months,then purchased over an acre of land with a 3 bedroom house in Waddell right near the white tank mountains for $50,000. we added and addition to the house and all lived there. we loved it, had horses, chickens, & goats. I saw more of that state then I ever did of NJ.. we had such a great life out there, so enjoyable, then my husbands mother got sick back in Jersey and the other family members too busy to take care of her, we moved back to jersey 5 years later to take care of her.. we are still in jersey... we definitely want move out of here and may be looking to come back soon.. I so miss it there. Friends of ours are on vacation right now at the grand Canyon and the pics are just killing me, I miss it so much!!!
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I moved here from CA and I don't like it. I don't like the heat and I don't like the roaches. I'm sorry. I can't find much to like out here so far. I met my bf out here, that is the only reason that I am still here.
Perhaps you have an infestation where you live that needs addressing. I live with natural/open desert surrounding me with desert wildlife galore and I rarely see roaches anywhere on our property. Never seen one in our house. 
I've had the exact opposite experience living here for many years. Overall I've found people in the Phoenix metro to be very friendly. And easy going. And I don't get "blank stares" when I joke with people in the checkout lines/servers at restaurants...perhaps your jokes are really bad?
