[rodentraiser]

It probably doesn't hurt to mention here that "abusive relationship" isn't exclusively a man abusing his wife. People can be in an abusive relationship with friends, their parents, or their boss. And because those aren't the traditional abusive situations we tend to think of, it's really easy to miss the signs of those.

I was in a job where the manager would go all out and was actually a bullying boss. It was a classic abusive relationship, but it only happened a couple of times a year. Each time there would be a long lull before the next time something happened and during those lulls I'd think, yeah, I can make this work. It took me 2 1/2 years to recognize what was going on before I got smart and walked out, and I'm a survivor of childhood abuse.

[MaryleeII]

Originally Posted by vhenderson

I understand why some are skeptical. Domestic violence doesn't care how much money you have, or don't. It doesn't discriminate based on age, race, gender or level of education. It is about one human beings need to control those around them and the more financially comfortable or educated you are, the more shame and guilt the receiving person feels. People like me work VERY hard to hide that shame and self blame. I am learning this as I go.

FYI, If you encounter a person who is in such a relationship like I was and you notice a dot on their hand, here's what it means....My life is in danger and I cant find a way out! If you can get them alone, ASK how you can help. Some can slip away and get to the police if someone is just willing to just drive them there, at that very moment. I hope I am never stupid enough to get involved with a man again, or ever have to use this information. Again, thank you for those who helped me no give up

Ok, here it is----folks, just google "black dot on palm of hand" and you will see what this is really all about.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by rodentraiser

It probably doesn't hurt to mention here that "abusive relationship" isn't exclusively a man abusing his wife. People can be in an abusive relationship with friends, their parents, or their boss. And because those aren't the traditional abusive situations we tend to think of, it's really easy to miss the signs of those.

I was in a job where the manager would go all out and was actually a bullying boss. It was a classic abusive relationship, but it only happened a couple of times a year. Each time there would be a long lull before the next time something happened and during those lulls I'd think, yeah, I can make this work. It took me 2 1/2 years to recognize what was going on before I got smart and walked out, and I'm a survivor of childhood abuse.

this is very true. We knew a couple, I certainly wouldn't call them friends, but we did spend a lot of time wit them, doing volunteer work mind you. She was an abuser. I have no idea what finally happened to them or if he was able to get away and lead a decent life. She did move from CA to DC when we were living in the DC area, he did not come with her, but she brought their little girl. When we eventually left DC she did not. I am assuming they were split at that time, she just never mentioned it to us. I think when it is the woman doing the abusing it is often even harder to get out of the relationship because a man's ego is often involved more that a woman's.

[vhenderson]

Originally Posted by MaryleeII

[/b]

Ok, here it is----folks, just google "black dot on palm of hand" and you will see what this is really all about.

Thank you Marylee, I had not heard of the black dot until the day I finally was out. I had no idea there was a website on it and its scary to think that if I had known about it and used it, he could have found out what it meant. I actually reached out to an international support group and heard of it from another person like myself. Yes, I am out. I am going through an emotional roller coaster, am in hiding and getting text threats of all kinds. If I can help a woman get out, I will. I was almost euphoric the day I got out, I felt like I had been released from prison for a crime I didn't commit. Today? I don't know what I feel. I am going to start counseling soon and maybe one day I will feel normal, right now I just feel lost and scared. There are so many women in my area in the shelters there are no beds, not even emergency beds. I came here hoping to find suggestions on resources and I used every one suggested. I just want to thank everyone who made those suggestions. Not believing, I am now finding is common and it doesn't bother me as much now that I am out of there, except for those who are still trying to find a way out. I know God was watching over me and I am lucky and grateful to be free.

[CraigCreek]

Thanks for the update. Block anyone who is threatening your via texts, or else save the threats and let the police know.

So thankful you're in a safe place, and wishing the best for you in the future. Glad the C-D community was able to offer good suggestions.

[Luvvarkansas]

Originally Posted by CraigCreek

save the threats and let the police know.

Definitely this. ^^^

[Minntoaz]

I've been following this thread OP and it struck my heart hard. I've been praying for you and will continue to.

[StilltheSame]

Originally Posted by rodentraiser

It probably doesn't hurt to mention here that "abusive relationship" isn't exclusively a man abusing his wife. People can be in an abusive relationship with friends, their parents, or their boss. And because those aren't the traditional abusive situations we tend to think of, it's really easy to miss the signs of those.

I was in a job where the manager would go all out and was actually a bullying boss. It was a classic abusive relationship, but it only happened a couple of times a year. Each time there would be a long lull before the next time something happened and during those lulls I'd think, yeah, I can make this work. It took me 2 1/2 years to recognize what was going on before I got smart and walked out, and I'm a survivor of childhood abuse.

Nothing near the level of domestic violence, but I had a toxic/bullying friendship that this post reminded me of. There would be an incident every so often and I would know I needed to end it, but she was so funny, charming and kind (except when she wasn't). It ended badly when I couldn't ignore or excuse it any longer.

[rob043055]

I am struggling with this thread. Surely the OP is not expecting strangers on the internet to insert themselves into a domestic despite with her husband. Here are my suggestions:

1) Call family members (your family) for support and assistance.
2) Call your pastor and head of the woman's ministry at your church and discuss your options with them.
3) Consider making peace in your marriage. If there is any substance abuse, stop your part in it. Acknowledging the role you played in the breakdown of your marriage. Admit your faults. Ask for forgiveness. Nobody is perfect.
4) If you did not understand #2 above, ask the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart a nd give him your burdens. Start going to church and associate with good Christian people.

I have no idea what people are referring to about googling a "black dot on your palm" the results I got in Google was skin cancer. What does a black dot have to do with anything? God bless you and good luck.

[MaryleeII]

Originally Posted by rob043055

I am struggling with this thread. Surely the OP is not expecting strangers on the internet to insert themselves into a domestic despite with her husband. Here are my suggestions:

1) Call family members (your family) for support and assistance.
2) Call your pastor and head of the woman's ministry at your church and discuss your options with them.
3) Consider making peace in your marriage. If there is any substance abuse, stop your part in it. Acknowledging the role you played in the breakdown of your marriage. Admit your faults. Ask for forgiveness. Nobody is perfect.
4) If you did not understand #2 above, ask the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart a nd give him your burdens. Start going to church and associate with good Christian people.

I have no idea what people are referring to about googling a "black dot on your palm" the results I got in Google was skin cancer. What does a black dot have to do with anything? God bless you and good luck.

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