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Many people are hard on girls from developing countries. But as long as you remember that these girls are still following rules from bygone days you can make out ok.
Remember that:
she is more likely marrying for position and security just as women did here in the past. that wont mean that she can't come to love you. it is just that she is starting from a far different plance than you are
I'm going to change this: Really should say...
she is more likely marrying for position and security just as most women did here in the past and many still do. that wont mean that she can't come to love you. it is just that she is starting from a far different plance than you are
she is more likely marrying for position and security just as most women did here in the past and many still do. that wont mean that she can't come to love you. it is just that she is starting from a far different plance than you are
Okay Blktoptrvl, that's a fair statement. It will just make it more challenging to figure out if the next lady I meet is worth pursuing or not.
I heard the women there seldom argue with their boyfriends or husbands, and the women are seldom mad at their men and children, couple relationship are generally very good. Is this generally the case?
I heard the women there seldom argue with their boyfriends or husbands, and the women are seldom mad at their men and children, couple relationship are generally very good. Is this generally the case?
Fromresee, I don't know nearly enough about Philippine culture to be able to accurately answer your question. I have read that Filipinas can be among the very best wifes a man could have. That's not to say that all Filipinas are good, it's just that it's my understanding that there is more positive things out there about them generally speaking than negative.
Hopefully somebody who is more qualified reading this can give you a more accurate answer to your question.
I heard the women there seldom argue with their boyfriends or husbands, and the women are seldom mad at their men and children, couple relationship are generally very good. Is this generally the case?
The is no one size fits all when it comes to any culture but for the most part I have found that younger Filipinas (under 40) and who do not come from money, seem to be very easy going and instead of getting mad will more likely go quiet for hours to a day.
There will always be a period of adjustment and since many are shy and not used to people raising their voice at them, so that would be a sure way to get some of them upset at you.
Do not be fooled, there are plenty who may only wish to get to another country but even many of those would probably turn into good wives if given love and affection and treated nicely.
How do I know all the above, I live with my Filipina wife of 20 years, 4 months a year in Cebu and we travel around the Philippines, and the rest of the year for the most part in the US and we get to meet many mixed couple.
I had dated many ladies from many different cultures and for the most part feel that there are way more great wives waiting in the Philippines for a good man than in any other culture that I had experienced, yet I have not experienced all, so I can only speak from those I have.
^
I can relate to the wife going quiet for hours or days. My wife got upset with me and she isn't talking to me..it's been nearly a week. She's barely said anything to me. She is not the argumentative type at all. I hate arguing and fighting too. I like that she's not a loud mouth. I respect her feelings and I try to understand things from her perspective. I like that she and girls from where she is from are very family oriented. They take good care of their husbands.
On the contrary, Western women are outspoken, if not argumentative.
So American men prefer submissive or quiet women from other cultures.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalmain
^
I can relate to the wife going quiet for hours or days. My wife got upset with me and she isn't talking to me..it's been nearly a week. She's barely said anything to me. She is not the argumentative type at all. I hate arguing and fighting too. I like that she's not a loud mouth. I respect her feelings and I try to understand things from her perspective. I like that she and girls from where she is from are very family oriented. They take good care of their husbands.
On the contrary, Western women are outspoken, if not argumentative.
So American men prefer submissive or quiet women from other cultures.
I don't like loud mouth people period. My wife doesn't like to scream and curse and make a big scene. Because she is not loud doesn't mean she is weak. I wouldn't call her submissive to the point that I could just walk all over her. Plus I love my wife I would never do anything to embarrass or demean her. I just like that you can have a conversation. It doesn't have to be overblown and loud. It fits my personality because I hate fighting. If there is a a disagreement we talk like normal people.
FCStraight Yes, I am an Army Veteran. Thanks for such a great post! Very good post here that I'm sure will help others who may find themselves in a similar situation. I have heard and read a lot of what you have posted here and to read your informative post further confirms what I've learned so far. Also what you said about not flashing large bills over there and not talking about all of the things you have back home, to me is common sense. Folks don't like people who are "show offs".
Just to update everyone again.... The Filipina who I originally started this post about is just a friend. She confessed to me shortly after this post was started that she's still in love with her son's papa. I did find out that her trip here to the States was postponed until later this year, although I don't recall her mentioning why. I admit that I felt disappointed because that was something I felt she should have disclosed early on in our communication. To some extent I felt like my time wasn't valued, although I don't think it was intentional. It's just that is time that I could have spent getting to know someone who doesn't have that sort of emotional attachment and is free to get into a relationship at some point in the future should things take a turn in that direction. I am also noticing that so many women are married already. I also know that there is no divorce in the Philippines only annulment. Annulment is costly and takes a long time from what I've come to understand and even then I've heard it's not even guaranteed.
I have friends over there now that I will meet while I am there in May. I can say that they are just friends and some who I may go out with while I am there as one way of trying to have a bit of a social life. So in the meantime, I may starting looking again with the hopes that I may have one main lady to spend my time getting to know her while I'm there. Or maybe I will just stick to Filipinas who are already US Citizens or those who were already on that path prior to us meeting and don't need anything from me.
One last thing, I didn't take your reference to "girls" so literally but I understood what you meant. I do know that a lot of the Filipinas are quite young but I do have a age limit seeing how I am 45. I would go anywhere 10-15 years younger and even then she would have to be very mature for her age. I don't understand the age gap over there, I've read and heard about some many Filipinas in relationships with older men. One recent conversation I had with a Filipina she said that she's 25 and her American boyfriend is 54.
Anyway FCStraight, thanks again your post and feel free to contribute anytime!
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You're most welcome, ArmyVet...Sorry to hear it didn't turn out as you expected...and hope you find that special someone. I am still in contact with a friend in Manila, a consulting associate who does in-country field research for me. She is very knowledgable in just about everything in the Philippines. So anything you want to know...just ask me. When do you plan to go there? I started to plan something to meet a cousin there...but he just e-mailed me to tell me he and his wife are coming over for vacation next month...so I will try to see him in WA when they arrive there. They have been living in the Philippines since he retired from the U.S. Air Force some 15 years ago. I have much to talk to him about retirement in the Philippines. I want to get back to the Philippines...just seems I'm wasting my time in the U.S. There is so much I want to do there...do ethnographic field research, write articles, photography, to teach..and have a "life" again. Anyway...any questions, just ask...and I'll try to answer as best as I can.
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I did find out that her trip here to the States was postponed until later this year, although I don't recall her mentioning why. I admit that I felt disappointed because that was something I felt she should have disclosed early on in our communication.
To some extent I felt like my time wasn't valued, although I don't think it was intentional. It's just that is time that I could have spent getting to know someone who doesn't have that sort of emotional attachment and is free to get into a relationship at some point in the future should things take a turn in that direction. I am also noticing that so many women are married already. I also know that there is no divorce in the Philippines only annulment. Annulment is costly and takes a long time from what I've come to understand and even then I've heard it's not even guaranteed. 
So in the meantime, I may starting looking again with the hopes that I may have one main lady to spend my time getting to know her while I'm there. Or maybe I will just stick to Filipinas who are already US Citizens or those who were already on that path prior to us meeting and don't need anything from me.