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You're most welcome, ArmyVet...Sorry to hear it didn't turn out as you expected...and hope you find that special someone. I am still in contact with a friend in Manila, a consulting associate who does in-country field research for me. She is very knowledgable in just about everything in the Philippines. So anything you want to know...just ask me. When do you plan to go there? I started to plan something to meet a cousin there...but he just e-mailed me to tell me he and his wife are coming over for vacation next month...so I will try to see him in WA when they arrive there. They have been living in the Philippines since he retired from the U.S. Air Force some 15 years ago. I have much to talk to him about retirement in the Philippines. I want to get back to the Philippines...just seems I'm wasting my time in the U.S. There is so much I want to do there...do ethnographic field research, write articles, photography, to teach..and have a "life" again. Anyway...any questions, just ask...and I'll try to answer as best as I can.
Hey FCStraight,
Thanks again for your reply! I'm on my last week here in Metro Manilla before the vacation is over. I haven't found anybody special yet but I guess it's going to take a few more trips over here to get it right. Actually I have a couple of possibilities but I won't have nearly enough time to know if there's any real potential there.
On a different note, what's with all of the folks outside and inside malls handing out information on condos available or soon to be available? I already have a small stack of them in my condo already. I am curious about condo ownership but I don't want anybody pressuring me to buy a condo like those pesky timeshare folks back home in the USA. I have had a couple of Filipinas tell me that they won't go to the condo presentation. I am under the impression that buying a condo here in the Philippines is a good investment.
Hmmm. There's research on western (mostly American and Canadian) men who go abroad to find Filipina wives, and it's generally not positive about either the men or the women. The men tend to be looking for very subservient women (which doesn't describe many American or Canadian women) who will do all the cooking and cleaning and anything he wants in bed, and the women are looking for a way out of poverty (and a source of funds to send back to their parents). Again, these are GENERALIZATIONS so of course they don't apply to everyone.
I try not to be too hard on the women since it makes sense that they would want to escape poverty (from an American perspective, they seem manipulative, but then again, lots of people are manipulative in relationships, alas). I feel sad for the men because they can't find what they are looking for in their own countries.
"60 Minutes" did a piece on mail-order brides (and Internet bride sites, like the one the OP has been referencing) -- it included info on a "bride tour." Honestly, by the end of the tour it looked like the parties were simply conducting business -- "you give me this, I'll give you that," as in, "you give me security and money to send back home, and I'll do the cooking and cleaning and whatever you want in bed." The Filipinas were hanging all over the American men that they had just met -- it's no wonder the men would find that flattering, although it really had nothing to do with them as PEOPLE (the women didn't KNOW them as people), just their wallets. It wasn't at all subtle.
Many of the women interviewed (away from the men) freely admitted that they were not in love with the men they were corresponding with, but they would marry them anyway. Of course, that's immigration fraud, but the women didn't see it that way -- to them, it really WAS a business transaction.
Um, I've never heard any American woman make that complaint. Not sure that American women would want the type of man who feels he has to find a foreign bride.
OP, I'm sorry if I sound harsh. You seemed to get very annoyed at the online woman (or women) who asked for money, but of course any bride you bring home from a poor country is going to want money from you -- that is what they are GETTING out of the relationship. Some might be more subtle about the request than others, but ultimately, it's about their wanting security. Sorry if that's not romantic.
I would agree that it is a business transaction no matter how these men attempt disguise that fact. The men who seek out women of a specific nationality are basically attempting to "build the perfect wife". They usually use the guise of there aren't any women with similar values out of hundreds of millions of women in their home country to justify their desire for a stereotypical version of their ideal woman.
Reading through this thread, I find the OP's agenda to be quite sad. I have seen what happens when men do find their "perfect wife" and have their finances drained due to vast amounts of money being sent back to family in the Philippines, money stolen from the business to again be sent to family and then the Filipina wife forbidding her half black children from associating with any blacks including their father's side of the family (college educated, gainfully employed, middle class).
Also, I find it interesting that guys in the military often seek out women that they believe have a reputation of being "subservient" based upon nationality.
I am a prude. I don't care what anyone thinks about it. I dislike the idea of men traveling to Oriental countries looking for women. Because Oriental women are stereotyped as being culturally deferential to men, the men think they can use and abuse them.
I am a prude. I don't care what anyone thinks about it. I dislike the idea of men traveling to Oriental countries looking for women. Because Oriental women are stereotyped as being culturally deferential to men, the men think they can use and abuse them.
Sorry but your statement is too broad and insulting to those of us who are married to or in relationships with Asian women and I know that I sure do not abuse my wife, in fact I cherish her because she is not like the many other women I had dated from many other cultures, or the American princess wife I had been married to who was only driven by how often she could go shopping for items she did not need and how many dollars she could waste. Now with that written, not all American women would fit that category but my x did.
Maybe in the future you should consider using the term some since all of any group can never be put into one category.
I am a prude. I don't care what anyone thinks about it. I dislike the idea of men traveling to Oriental countries looking for women. Because Oriental women are stereotyped as being culturally deferential to men, the men think they can use and abuse them.
some men travelling to SE Asia are looking for love. Most are looking in all the wrong places if you ask me, and they are as likely to be the victims of these relationships as the other way around. (I know a few poor saps who were taken for everything they had). Being a prude is one thing; but suggesting that men who travel over there are solely out to "use and abuse" the women is really nonsense.
Oh, and they're not called "Oriental" women anymore. People from that part of the world are referred to as "Asian."
I am a prude. I don't care what anyone thinks about it. I dislike the idea of men traveling to Oriental countries looking for women. Because Oriental women are stereotyped as being culturally deferential to men, the men think they can use and abuse them.
This is very true. These men are in love with the idea of the obedient, servile, and sexbot Asian woman. They are in love with the stereotype. And the reason that these men travel to 3rd world countries is because these women are usually uneducated, economically challenged and have fewer options.
This is very true. These men are in love with the idea of the obedient, servile, and sexbot Asian woman. They are in love with the stereotype. And the reason that these men travel to 3rd world countries is because these women are usually uneducated, economically challenged and have fewer options.
This is very true. These men are in love with the idea of the obedient, servile, and sexbot Asian woman. They are in love with the stereotype. And the reason that these men travel to 3rd world countries is because these women are usually uneducated, economically challenged and have fewer options.
or because they've had really bad experiences with women in their home countries. Like a guy I met who's lost about $1 million in a divorce. Had nothing good to say about western women. Another stereotype in my mind, but there are many good reasons western men have for falling in love with and marrying Asian women. As to the bolded, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Thailand to name a few are not third world countries.
I wish people would regard Filipino women with more respect and dignity!
Absolutely agree. Most of the statements posted here are opinions, based on either anecdotal or extremely limited experience. You know what they say about opinions... They are like ... Everyone has one.. When posters state 'a lot' or 'I have seen many ...', without hard data, it demonstrates nothing other than existence. Given the large quantity of Asians marrying American men, a trend is only considered valid if a sample size in the tens or hundreds of thousands.
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