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Thank you ladies!
The original Filipina on which my original post was started made a confession that she's still in love with her son's Poppy. So I have moved on and decided to pay to become a full member of a Filipina Dating site. As I continue my journey I'm sure I will have more questions and will post them as they come up. Of course I'll still post my remarks in response to others who post here.
I'd still look for one living here. Filipinas living in the Philippines on a dating site are still suspect in my book. But, in the end, it is your life. I'm Mr. Cynic here lol
I'd still look for one living here. Filipinas living in the Philippines on a dating site are still suspect in my book. But, in the end, it is your life. I'm Mr. Cynic here lol
Good advice there. It is very risky to expect a good relationship when you are trying to meet someone from a poorer country online. Women in these situations are trying to move to a richer country and they are not really interested in YOU as a person. I suppose the same is with the man looking for a wife they want the best deal they can get as well. I don't see much love involved here.
If someone is interested in a relationship they are much better trying to do this with someone already living in their country.
Thank you ladies! The original Filipina on which my original post was started made a confession that she's still in love with her son's Poppy. So I have moved on and decided to pay to become a full member of a Filipina Dating site. As I continue my journey I'm sure I will have more questions and will post them as they come up. Of course I'll still post my remarks in response to others who post here.
Thats a Big RED FLAG, Im glad you decided to eject now, she's definitely looking for financial support, not love, in the Philippines she would have a very hard time finding any men that would be interested in a women with kids over 30? and probably still married, since they dont recognize divorce over there, she's considered "damaged goods" over there, thats why she's seeking an American or westerner
most asian men wouldnt get involved with a woman with kids from previous relations, only westerners do that
wise decision to look for a person that is permanent resident in the US
Wow, thank you so much Tiger Beer! What an insightful post!
You have mentioned things in your posts that I have found while doing my research. There is a big part of me that is leaning towards searching for Filipinas who have either already started the process to relocate here in the US or Filipinas who have already been living here for some time. I don't think I want to deal with the whole process being a sponsor, immigration issues, etc.... I might even be very concerned that she may just be looking at me as a way out of her country then when she gets here gets up and takes off for what she feels is greener pastures. This speaks to your point about a 20 year old coming to the US and seeing her dating possibilities. That thought is scary but I will say that I could not ever see myself dating a 18, 19 or even a 20 year old. We wouldn't have anything in common and that sort of thing here in the U S will get you evil stares from people and you might wind up being called a pedophile or something even though she's an "adult" in the eyes of the law. Is there a difference between the young ladies there versus the young ones here in America? Are the Filipinas any more mature? I'm just curious and wonder what do they possibly think they might have in common with guys who are 15-25+ years older than they are? I have pretty much have a sort of check list of what I would like. As I'm reading profiles, I'm looking to see if they say that they want kids or not. I will accept her kids as my own, but I have no plans to start over from scratch fathering more children. I don't mind saying that I am 45 years old and I think a good age range for me might be from 35-45. Who knows, I might even consider 30. LOL! I am very visual as most of us guys are so appearance carries a lot of weight with me when deciding if I want to message a lady on the Filipina dating site or not.
To your question: Is there a difference between the young ladies in the Philippines versus the young ladies in the United States.
Yes, HUGE difference. I don't even know where to begin with that one, but huge huge difference. Filipinas just grow up poor, generally, and have a stronger value for things across the board.
Even poor Americans have a gazillion advantages that are just unheard of in the Philippines. More entitlement in the U.S., etc. Just more everything. I think that's at the very fundamental level.
I almost think that is something to experience to fully understand. But, anyways, they are very very different.
I think it is just because most Filipino women marry older Western guys. Well, it is usually older Western guys who pursue Filipino women except it changed a little bit now, because of Chatrooms that Filipino women are starting to marry younger Western guys. When you see a much much younger woman with an older guy, what comes into your mind ? That she's only with him because of his money right ? Haven't you noticed that most Filipino women who are married to foreign men are usually the not so attractive ones ? It is also one of the reasons why they marry foreign men, because it is hard for them to get noticed by Filipino men as usually Filipino men are picky. Also, Filipino women married to Europeans look even very simple . I have a lot of Filipino friends who are married to Europeans and most of them are pretty simple, most are just content with having just a house, family car, food to eat and savings in the bank. Maybe it has to do with Europeans being less materialistic than Americans too that's why the wives are also less materislistic than those Filipino women you know in the States.
Also, thinking about financial security is not really being materialistic.
COMMENT on perceptions of beauty:
Filipinas and Americans/Europeans see beauty VERY differently. You can't really say that westerners marry ugly Filipinas. Because the viewpoint of beauty is so different. Generally speaking, Filipinas almost SOLE and ONLY criteria is if the Filipina woman has white skin. If she does, she is considered very beautiful and very desireable in the Philippines.
Americans/Europeans generally like TAN skin, and see PALE WHITE as being sickly or homely or scarey or near death, etc. They'll travel 1000 miles away to get a suntan, or sit under suntan lamps, etc. Any woman with a tan, in the US/Europe is seen as very positive! Whereas in Asia, women will avoid the sun at all costs, and carry umbrellas around, wear whitening lotions, etc.
In short, because of that very one fundamental difference, it would appear that white men marry ugly Filipinas (to a Filipino person). So, I will disagree on that statement.
However, I WOULD AGREE that many Europeans/Americans DO marry very SIMPLE filipinas. FIlipinas with very little education, and very little going with them, in general. I think this is partially because Americans/Europeans get mesmerized by this concept of a (attractive to them) young women having that kind of devotion and love feeling, or at least a strong appearance of it anyways.
Last edited by Tiger Beer; 11-05-2013 at 12:52 PM..
Actually it is wrong when large amounts of money is taken without the husband's knowledge or consent. Or when bank accounts are drained to send money to the Philippines behind the husband's back. Or spending lavishly and demanding luxury items when the husband has lived a frugal life. I would define these things as being materialistic, sneaky and deceptive.
This is quite common.
My perspective is people who grew up in the Philippines, just often have NO CONCEPT whatsover that money in the West doesn't grow on trees.
I see the same thing often. Western men who live frugal lives their entire lives, and they marry 'simple' women from the Philippines, with the assumption that these women have lived simple lives, and will continue to live simple lives.
But yeah, the woman thinking she hit the lottery, and doing facials, pedicures, etc. Just squandering away on the most frivilous things. It all adds up quickly.
Not all Filipinas are like that at all, but I think for many of them, they really do think that AMericans/Europeans have a bottomless bank account. I can sort of see why they come to this conclusion though. Filipinas live on something like $300-$400 a month...and than some foreigner flies in and lives like an absolute KING the entire time they are in the Philippines...and things get very misconstrued very quickly.
Well Filipinos are so close-family ties. There is positive advantage & negative disadvantage of being a close family ties. You will see on how we appreciate our dead loved ones, most Filipinos don't send their old folks in the home of the ages, although there are some that still very much dependent to their parents or family which is the negative side of it.
Culturally its bewildering on Americans/Europeans.
In the U.S./Europe, basically the PARENTS almost ALWAYS have the retirements, savings account, stable lives, have had the better jobs, and the houses paid off. So AMerican/European parents are always able to lend a little needed financial support for their adult kids, whenever those adult kids have financial problems, etc.
It's almost inconcievable that the American kids would grow up, get jobs, and have to send their entire incomes to their American parents. It just doesn't happen. But, in the Philippines, that is very very very commonplace.
IN the U.S., it would appear that the parents were extremely irresponsible in life, to have to have their kids send them their entire paychecks.
In the Philippines though, that gets masqueraded in that of course the kids love their parents, so that is why they must go abroad and send all their money to their parents, or marry ANY foreigner, and instead of saving money WITHIN their NEW family, they find a way to SEND it to their parents instead. FIlipinas tend to think that if they have kids, than THEIR KIDS will go out and send them money someday too. Which I swear is half of the time that so many Filipinas want to hurry up, get pregnant, and start popping out the kids, because somewhere unconsciously they see it as $$ in the bank when those babies grow up. So, again, they don't mind shipping $$ back to Philippines, as they assume they'll have many kids someday that'll someday do the same for them. (Which basically screws over the husband in Europe/US, as we're suppose to save enough for our IMMEDIATE family AND our kids - the opposite of the Philippines).
Most every Filipina will always say they do it because they love their parents. But Americans/Europeans love their parents too! But, in the Philippines, it's just culturally acceptable for parents to insist and twist that to a 'love your parents with money' issue. This looks manipulative to westerners, as if they really aren't good parents then. In short, HUGE cultural differences!
I don't stereotype there's good and not so good in every culture, but one must use common sense and judge each on their own merits. I was back on the Filipina dating website earlier today and I had one person give me a reference to an earthquake that recently hit the Philippines. She went on to say that her kids eat once maybe twice a day and that her business was destroyed. I told her I that I would let her go so she could go feed her kids. At this point I was thinking to myself that she should be working on feeding her kids and not hanging around on a website looking for someone to give her a "small" amount of money. You already know what's coming next....that's right she asked me for money through the website! We never had any real communication, just some minor small talk before she moved in for the kill. I reported her to customer service and they in turn removed that member from the website. I was annoyed by her asking for money but it was made worse due to the fact that our communication never got to anything beyond around 4 messages back and forth consisting of small talk. It's not like we had a genuine mutual interest in each other, this was our first communication we had. The messaging format is like it is here with the threaded conversations.
Because I am being very, very cautious, I am concentrating my search on the USA.
That doesn't surprise me at all! I've encountered that as well! I used to chat on Yahoo Messenger back when it was popular. Filipinas were all over that, like many other websites.
That used to annoy the hell out of me, when I'd occassionally encounter some Filipinas in a chat room, who I'd never met before, and she'd tell me how she had so little money, she couldn't even afford the internet cafes! Than go in for the kill, and ask me if I could send her a little money, so she could pay for her internet! I also always thought she needed to immidiately logoff, and start filling out job applications!
Yep, you definitely will have to sort through those girls. Basically ANY women who asks for money, I'd immediately stop corresponding with. You can 100% guarantee that that's their habit, and any involvement with them at all, and that'll only escalate.
There are also plenty of FIlipinas who don't do that as well. But there certainly is that element there, who do exactly that.
Last edited by Tiger Beer; 11-05-2013 at 12:55 PM..
Thank you ladies!
The original Filipina on which my original post was started made a confession that she's still in love with her son's Poppy. So I have moved on and decided to pay to become a full member of a Filipina Dating site. As I continue my journey I'm sure I will have more questions and will post them as they come up. Of course I'll still post my remarks in response to others who post here.
Poppy? Meaning, her son's father?
That's strange, if that's the case. It's strange on a number of levels. If poppy=Dad, where is the Dad from?
If it's a westerner, then it's not so strange. But if it's a Filipino guy, then it's strange, and I'd explain what I mean by that, if that is the case.
Culturally its bewildering on Americans/Europeans.
In the U.S./Europe, basically the PARENTS almost ALWAYS have the retirements, savings account, stable lives, have had the better jobs, and the houses paid off. So AMerican/European parents are always able to lend a little needed financial support for their adult kids, whenever those adult kids have financial problems, etc.
It's almost inconcievable that the American kids would grow up, get jobs, and have to send their entire incomes to their American parents. It just doesn't happen. But, in the Philippines, that is very very very commonplace.
IN the U.S., it would appear that the parents were extremely irresponsible in life, to have to have their kids send them their entire paychecks.
In the Philippines though, that gets masqueraded in that of course the kids love their parents, so that is why they must go abroad and send all their money to their parents, or marry ANY foreigner, and instead of saving money WITHIN their NEW family, they find a way to SEND it to their parents instead. FIlipinas tend to think that if they have kids, than THEIR KIDS will go out and send them money someday too. Which I swear is half of the time that so many Filipinas want to hurry up, get pregnant, and start popping out the kids, because somewhere unconsciously they see it as $$ in the bank when those babies grow up. So, again, they don't mind shipping $$ back to Philippines, as they assume they'll have many kids someday that'll someday do the same for them. (Which basically screws over the husband in Europe/US, as we're suppose to save enough for our IMMEDIATE family AND our kids - the opposite of the Philippines).
Most every Filipina will always say they do it because they love their parents. But Americans/Europeans love their parents too! But, in the Philippines, it's just culturally acceptable for parents to insist and twist that to a 'love your parents with money' issue. This looks manipulative to westerners, as if they really aren't good parents then. In short, HUGE cultural differences!
In the Philippines, kids are raised to think that when they were small, their Parents took care of them and did everything to send them to school and university so when they start working, it is their time to take care of their Parents and pay them back everything for their hard work by giving them some of their salary every month.
Of course, it's not really so nice because it is a duty of every parent to take care of their children and to educate them and should not expect any thing in return. But, I don't know, it seems like most parents always expect something in return. I have a friend who is a nurse, her Father receives a good pension every month enough for him and his wife since their house is already paid and their kids are all not living with them any more, but she still sends 70 % of her salary to her Mother every month. So her Mother lives like a Queen having 5 stay in maids in the house who are serving just 2 people.
Last edited by Hermosaa; 11-05-2013 at 05:31 PM..
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