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As the American in America an annulment is unnecessary, it is peculiar to Filipino law and only applies to them to remarry unless they were married to a Muslim under Sharia law. And if the foreigners initiate the divorce in their country then the Filipino also doesn't have to worry about a secular annulment
She is > 30 years old. Supposed to have only one kid. There are lots of related children however. Of course it has occurred to me that she might be hiding more kids. How is the record keeping in the Phils? Sure, I can hire an attorney, and a private investigator (and probably will if things get more serious) to make sure she doesn't have more kids. But I figure that surely someone else has direct experience with this, and a forum is the best place to ask. I don't mind taking care of one kid, and being a good role model, but I don't want to be, after 2-3 years, on the hook with child support for years of my life, unable to remarry or support a new family if she is without ethics and just takes me for a ride to support whatever lifestyle she chooses to have. I'm not always the best judge of character.
If you have direct experience, or directly know someone with direct experience, please reply.
Can you avoid the marriage part? They can take half of everything you own as well. Why not just fly to the Philippines and try to date. Or better yet, just fly to the PHilippines and meet the multitudes who don't already have baggage.
In my experience the ones who have kids already, have already made poor decisions, and will probably make more poor decisions - i.e. divorce you the moment they legally have whatever they want from you, with the legal rights to take away half all your assets, and half of all of your future earnings.
Can you avoid the marriage part? They can take half of everything you own as well. Why not just fly to the Philippines and try to date. Or better yet, just fly to the Philippines and meet the multitudes who don't already have baggage.
In my experience the ones who have kids already, have already made poor decisions, and will probably make more poor decisions - i.e. divorce you the moment they legally have whatever they want from you, with the legal rights to take away half all your assets, and half of all of your future earnings.
I'm not worried about the taking half of what I own. They can't do that. They can only take half of what is earned (accumulated assets, but not inheritance) during the time of the marriage. And they deserve it, if they were an equal partner in the enterprise of marriage. They can't take inheritance in my state. The part that I worry about is that they can take about half of future disposable income, for up to 8 years, (because they have to be married in the states for 2 years before they qualify to stay) if what someone else said in this thread is true about 10 years. So I have to really feel that I trust her. And this one, I'm not so sure. So I think it is time for me to move on.
But I'd still like to know if anyone has the experience of having to pay child support for years for a kid that isn't theirs, a kid that they didn't legally adopt.
There are alot of Filipinas out there who are virgin and without the additional baggage of having a previous family. So why go with her? Anyway, I can't judge you, maybe she has a good personality and maybe you've found true love.
Just be careful and don't be scammed. I say this as a Filipino and I'm genuinely concerned for you since alot of my countrymen are desperately poor and look upon some foreigners as a ticket out of poverty.
I'm middle aged, and looking for someone over 30 years old, so that we have a chance of success. It is a real challenge to find someone that old and still single without kids. Without the internet, it would be impossible. I want someone I can take home to the states to help look after my parents, a homemaker. This is why Filipinas are ideal. Most American women are more idealistic about having a "career" and they look down upon the supposedly lowly homemaker. See: Hillary's comment about baking cookies.
I want someone I can grow old with. I don't want a 20-year-old who would almost certainly divorce me after a short amount of time. 20-year-olds are quite easy to find, there are just lots and lots of them. Not falling for it.
I've heard that the scams are a big problem. I've been warned. Women with 10 boyfriends, extracting money from each, that kind of thing. So I'm trying to be cautious. But at some point, you have to take a take the plunge. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Yet the additional risk of a step-child that I have to pay for, for an additional 8 years after the marriage might end, well this just seems like too much, unless someone here can set my mind at ease..............
Yep, it's a dang minefield out there. I have been in Thailand for five years..not allowed to work here on my visa for retirement, which is a good thing, because keeping the Thais honest is just about a full time job. I have especially noticed this lately, as I have been shopping for a new GF. It is almost the more you try and find a educated girl from a good family; the more you are playing with fire. Lots of guys here have lived in Manilla and Angel's City. Other than an easy visa and low COL..they don't have a lot good to say about them. I think it is their very deep Catholic roots...too many kids, no responsible father, impovershed economy...lather, rinse, repeat. Plenty of Phil's here working as English Teachers...for half that of a native speaker. And, of course, sending money home...that is what it all boils down to. So even if you bring them to America and she works...you will see her send money to her large able-bodied family, while you work your arse off for them. Juan, Maria, Jose? They have all that in Mexico, and it is a lot closer.
you people cant find women in your own countries? You have to go half way around the world to find a poor desperate women (with a child)? She's obviously using you for a ticket to a better life.
And, of course, sending money home...that is what it all boils down to. So even if you bring them to America and she works...you will see her send money to her large able-bodied family, while you work your arse off for them.
Yep...and when the OP said that they deserve half of everything he has...that's the catch. That thinking makes sense when two Americans both working towards the immediate family, and staying within the family.
When Americans marry Filipinas, usually it's just the American giving half of everything to her family, and very little of her money going into 'their immediate household.' So when she leaves, she's already been draining the guy, and just takes the rest.
Yep...and when the OP said that they deserve half of everything he has...that's the catch. That thinking makes sense when two Americans both working towards the immediate family, and staying within the family.
When Americans marry Filipinas, usually it's just the American giving half of everything to her family, and very little of her money going into 'their immediate household.' So when she leaves, she's already been draining the guy, and just takes the rest.
Yup. That’s the situation. The dating scene for foreigners is almost totally restricted to the poorest class of Filipinas. They have no money and not much education. There’s a wealthy elite class with bloodlines that go back to Spanish times. There’s a middle class, much smaller than in the US, that have Chinese bloodlines.
The elites and the middle class socialize and marry within their own groups. They’re well educated, have money and normally have no interest whatsoever in dating or socializing with foreigners especially if they’re less educated and poorer.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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Is there some reason you can't find a woman in the US you're happy with?
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