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Let me preface this by saying that I lived in NYC for a few years and made NO friends.
The reason I ask is because anytime I see social media posts from my friends who live there are as ESL teachers, it always seems like they have no trouble making friends and having a social life. I've considered being an ESL teacher many times but I worry about moving there and not making friends (like in NYC). So is it really that easy to make friends over there or should I contemplate the possibility that I could be friendless as an ESL teacher?
Edit: I'm also considering Japan and Taiwan too and not just South Korea. And I'm open to other countries especially if it's easier to make friends there.
Wish I can help you out but the SK expert here is "" user, I can only suspect that speaking the languages goes a long way. I mean everyone speaks english nowadays so maybe that's the 'issue' in NYC. No idea and...good luck.
My SIL was an ESL assistant teacher in Japan for many years. She similarly has trouble making friends (and she is in NYC, too!), but she did have a good, active friend group over there. That said, they were almost exclusively other ELS teachers from the US and UK. They went through orientation together and really bonded, so they enjoyed exploring the country together. If you go through a larger placement company and start with a cohort of other newbies, you could have an instant friend group!
That said, she had few local friends; and after almost a decade there, her Japanese wasn't that great. While there, she married a UK-based ESL teacher. He did make more of an effort to connect with the local population, but even still most of his friends were not Japanese. He's about to remarry - to a Russian, this time.
Let me preface this by saying that I lived in NYC for a few years and made NO friends.
The reason I ask is because anytime I see social media posts from my friends who live there are as ESL teachers, it always seems like they have no trouble making friends and having a social life. I've considered being an ESL teacher many times but I worry about moving there and not making friends (like in NYC). So is it really that easy to make friends over there or should I contemplate the possibility that I could be friendless as an ESL teacher?
Edit: I'm also considering Japan and Taiwan too and not just South Korea. And I'm open to other countries especially if it's easier to make friends there.
As a person who lived in New York City, Seoul, and Osaka... (2 years, 9 years, 5 years, respectively).
NYC...I made friends there through my workplace and roommates. I did not meet 'friends' socially as there are thousands and thousands of bars and events going on every night; and just many different people constantly going randomly to who knows what. Not only that, but if you are an American living in an American city, than you are just 1 of millions of others living in that city.
If you are an EXPAT living in South Korea; then you have a somewhat small community of expats doing the exact same thing as you are doing; and having pretty much the exact same experiences and reflections; so you have this bonding thing that occurs upon meeting. The only equivalent I could make it to someone who doesn't experience it, it's like if two black guys show up at an almost all-white party. Or if you are an Indonesian person who moves to Iowa, and you find some Indonesian event, and you are just a member no matter what. It's something like that. Basically you are just a member of a much smaller community of people in a much larger place.
In effect, any expat anywhere, SEOUL or anywhere in KOREA is no exception. The American expats will probably be searching out Mexican Restaurants, and the Brits for a good Curry, or whatever for whoever. You'll get invited along, you'll meet another 5 people, on and on. Basically everywhere you go in Korea, you'll be searching out some 'expat' thing that all the other expats are doing - i.e. Quiz Night, Halloween Parties, whatever. Through this process, despite Seoul being a city of 10+ milllion people, your little world will be navigating a smaller crowd of people all thinking western, searching out things western, and whatnot. And regarding the Korean things, among the western crowds, certain Korean things are uniformally agreed upon by the western crowds of what they want to do in it - i.e. everyone will want to drink soju and eat Korean BBQ and most likely in certain places. All the foreigners will want to go clubbing in specific clubs in HongDae. All the foreigners will want to go to certain bars and restaurants in Itaewon because they serve a good burrito or whatnot. In short, your community just expands and expands and expands.
In short, there is never a lack of expats to do things with if you are an expat. The catch is going back home to the U.S., Canada, OZ, or wherever, and just being 1 of the millions there without any community quite in the same was as you get an expat community.
Regarding Japan, as an aside. Japan is a bit harder than South Korea; as when I lived in Japan, I just wanted to be around Japanese people a lot, and a lot of other foreigners do too. It makes the expat community more dispersed, etc. It's oddly easier to integrate into things (at least in my experience), more expats in Japan speak Japanese, and more of them settle down in Japan permanantly integrating themselves even more. Combined with this the teaching community is way more competitive, and the jobs way harder to come by.
South Korea, on the other hand, the expat community is more tight-nit. South Korea has a way of pushing the expats more towards each other as a coping mechanism to being there. This makes the expat community really bond together in ways quite unfamiliar in Japan.
But anyway, if you go to SOuth Korea, you'll have no shortage of friends. On top of that, SOuth Koreans will REALLY be obsessed about learning English from you, so you'll have no shortage of Koreans who'll see you as an opportunity to increase their English. THis can be draining though. But the relief of this is from the fellow expats who'll 100% sit back and drink beer with you, sharing their own stories of this and that experience of just day-to-day living in South Korea.
Hope this helps you with your decision-making. But if you are looking for friends, you'll find it in abundance in South Korea.
I taught ESL when I first moved to China, for about a year and a half. Different environment than Korea for sure, but, I had no issue making friends at all, both in the expat community and with locals. I was out taking pictures and was approached by a couple who were also into photography; riding my bike at night and chancing across groups of young people riding; art students at art supply stores. The main thing was making myself available to meet those people, not just in terms of being there physically, but by being engaging, polite, and curious.
As a person who lived in New York City, Seoul, and Osaka... (2 years, 9 years, 5 years, respectively).
NYC...I made friends there through my workplace and roommates. I did not meet 'friends' socially as there are thousands and thousands of bars and events going on every night; and just many different people constantly going randomly to who knows what. Not only that, but if you are an American living in an American city, than you are just 1 of millions of others living in that city.
If you are an EXPAT living in South Korea; then you have a somewhat small community of expats doing the exact same thing as you are doing; and having pretty much the exact same experiences and reflections; so you have this bonding thing that occurs upon meeting. The only equivalent I could make it to someone who doesn't experience it, it's like if two black guys show up at an almost all-white party. Or if you are an Indonesian person who moves to Iowa, and you find some Indonesian event, and you are just a member no matter what. It's something like that. Basically you are just a member of a much smaller community of people in a much larger place.
In effect, any expat anywhere, SEOUL or anywhere in KOREA is no exception. The American expats will probably be searching out Mexican Restaurants, and the Brits for a good Curry, or whatever for whoever. You'll get invited along, you'll meet another 5 people, on and on. Basically everywhere you go in Korea, you'll be searching out some 'expat' thing that all the other expats are doing - i.e. Quiz Night, Halloween Parties, whatever. Through this process, despite Seoul being a city of 10+ milllion people, your little world will be navigating a smaller crowd of people all thinking western, searching out things western, and whatnot. And regarding the Korean things, among the western crowds, certain Korean things are uniformally agreed upon by the western crowds of what they want to do in it - i.e. everyone will want to drink soju and eat Korean BBQ and most likely in certain places. All the foreigners will want to go clubbing in specific clubs in HongDae. All the foreigners will want to go to certain bars and restaurants in Itaewon because they serve a good burrito or whatnot. In short, your community just expands and expands and expands.
In short, there is never a lack of expats to do things with if you are an expat. The catch is going back home to the U.S., Canada, OZ, or wherever, and just being 1 of the millions there without any community quite in the same was as you get an expat community.
Regarding Japan, as an aside. Japan is a bit harder than South Korea; as when I lived in Japan, I just wanted to be around Japanese people a lot, and a lot of other foreigners do too. It makes the expat community more dispersed, etc. It's oddly easier to integrate into things (at least in my experience), more expats in Japan speak Japanese, and more of them settle down in Japan permanantly integrating themselves even more. Combined with this the teaching community is way more competitive, and the jobs way harder to come by.
South Korea, on the other hand, the expat community is more tight-nit. South Korea has a way of pushing the expats more towards each other as a coping mechanism to being there. This makes the expat community really bond together in ways quite unfamiliar in Japan.
But anyway, if you go to SOuth Korea, you'll have no shortage of friends. On top of that, SOuth Koreans will REALLY be obsessed about learning English from you, so you'll have no shortage of Koreans who'll see you as an opportunity to increase their English. THis can be draining though. But the relief of this is from the fellow expats who'll 100% sit back and drink beer with you, sharing their own stories of this and that experience of just day-to-day living in South Korea.
Hope this helps you with your decision-making. But if you are looking for friends, you'll find it in abundance in South Korea.
Good post but do you think I'd still make friends even if I'm bad at making friends in general? It sounds like you even made friends in NYC. I didn't even make friends with my coworkers or roommates in NYC. In fact, I have lots of roommate horror stories from living there.
South Korean culture looks upon foreigners as an ugly necessity and Koreans never really view foreigners as fully human. The country is infamous for expats that fly out of the place in tears for being laughed at, pushed, ignored, and humiliated just for being a foreigner.
How old are you? I'm over 50 and taught at an international school so my experience with the ESL expat life is secondhand but I did just return to the US after 4 years in Seoul.
I found it easy to make friends in the international school community. So easy that I didn't try too hard to make Korean friends outside of a couple who worked for the international school. I expect it is mostly the same with the younger ESL crowd but the word mostly covers one big warning. The international school teachers generally had an automatic pool of at least 10s of Western colleagues. Some of the ESL teachers that I ran into had much smaller build in networks especially if they came for a hagwan job and didn't even have the EPIK intake time to bond with other new expats.
BTW, I would take matrices's comment with a gain of salt. I found that the Koreans were very easy to get along with! Of course some of that is probably my different situation. I'm just old enough to get some of the respect for the elderly that is big in Korean culture. I found that the parents of my students respected my experience and education. Almost every time I went hiking alone I had some pleasant interaction with other middle aged Korean hikers. There were rude people of course but so what.
Making close friends is difficult for many, regardless of the location.
We were talking to friends who have lived in Tasmania for twenty years (yes, it is part of Australia!) and they commented that nearly all their friends were “newcomers” like them. Other friends retired to a beautiful town on the NSW south coast and in seven years, made no friends and have now moved to Queensland.
My sister has lived in Dubai for several years and I remember a comment about making friends as an expat. That their friends there are often people that they would choose not to see if they had remained in Sydney. Sister has also lived in Malaysia and China and they never made friends with locals.
I taught ESL two years. First, depends on teaching environment. On staff K-12, no, except maybe a parent. Classrom group of adults, really good chance of a few. One-n-one tutoring, small sample size..
Keep in mind that in some cultures, there may be strong restrictions on the open-ness or permissibility of socialization or fraternization.
In my case, Jordan was very easy to begin a friendship, but a tangle of snags if trying to penetrate society.
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