Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thank you for your ideas. I like the idea of just asking them lol. That's easy enough. I do plan to let my kids decide for themselves where religion is concerned. However, I feel like at some point they will know my viewpoint has changed. The thing is I never saw how much religion, particularly the one we were part of, is to a certain extent an abuse of power. Anyway, I just don't know if I should talk to them to tell them I've changed my mind, or just let them ask if they want to know.
Yes, let the kids go to church if they want. Heaven forbid...well, you know what I mean... that atheists should ever adopt some 'thou shalt not be yoked with a believer' dictum. If the subject of not going to church comes up, I'd suggest saying frankly, you don't believe it any more and you are disinclined to just keep on going as if you did believe. If they want to discuss it, then be open and frank about your views and let them know that you are fine with what they decide.
Of course there may be ramifications if word gets back, but think of us a support group. Hopefully, your former church does not employ a Gestapo for God to check up on backsliders.
I have had a hard time believing in god for quite some time,and finally came to the conlcusion there isn't one. My husband and I have been going to church with our kids for the last 15 years, but recently quit going. He had issues with the last church we attended, and I just couldn't stomach it anymore. So, I'm trying to figure out what to do Sunday mornings now that we have nowhere to go. I talked to my oldest about my doubts(she has them too and was relieved), but our younger kids think we have been just taking a break from church. (My husband may return someday, but I won't.) I'm not sure what to tell my younger kids about this. I figure it would be gradual, and that it might be easier if we came up with a new Sunday tradition of sorts. Any ideas??
The same thing you would do on Saturday mornings or weekday mornings during summer break. Whatever you want. Chores, goof off on the internet, visit friends (not everyone goes to church), pay bills, bike riding, shoot hoops, etc.
So, I'm trying to figure out what to do Sunday mornings now that we have nowhere to go.
Nowhere? Where do you live? Sundays for me, like many days, are awash with things to do and places to go. Fishing. Frisbee in the park. Walking in the woods, mountains or by rivers. Picnics. Reading. Writing. Cooking. Baking. Tending to the garden. Doing homework with kids. Investing some time in a local charity or political cause. Contact friends and organize shared versions of any of the above. Or simply sit and meditate for awhile. As Vipassana practitioners sometimes like to joke "Don't just do something, sit there".
I could list for hours and still not be finished by the end of today.
There is also likely some Atheist and/or humanist organisations where you live. Contact them and see what events or campaigns are currently active and live. Take part.
One of the great things about being atheist is you realize that THIS life is for living. Not some imagined next one. So.... go live it Explore your place in it and push your limits and boundaries for how you have immersed yourself in it to date. These are the moments we share with loved ones. Moments we will never get back again. Revel in them.
As for what to tell younger kids.... I tend to tell kids that imagination is fun and we should use it every chance we get. But we should always keep one eye on the fact that it IS imagination and never to confuse reality with imagination. "god" is, you can tell these kids, what happens when grown ups start to forget where reality stops and imagination begins. You can tell them that you have started to remember that now, and you are no longer acting like things you have imagined are actually real any more.
There is also likely some Atheist and/or humanist organisations where you live. Contact them and see what events or campaigns are currently active and live. Take part.
I find it's cultural and artistic pursuits that satisfy that need much more than Atheist or humanist organizations, which never really got popular since Atheism isn't a religion and doesn't try to be. It's museums, theatres, TED talks, and poetry readings that really elevate us in the end, an Atheist organization is more like a political lobby or support group, depending on its individual characteristics. Sometimes people need that, but it's nothing like a church and can't meet that human need to be elevated like those other secular institutions can. They can help us find truth, and they do it without guile or agenda, in a million different ways, helping us in a healthy way to achieve greater wisdom.
an Atheist organization is more like a political lobby or support group, depending on its individual characteristics. Sometimes people need that, but it's nothing like a church
I would never suggest it was anything like a church. Not even as an implication.
Atheist Ireland, of which I am a founding member, for example is indeed primarily a lobby group. But it is a lot more too. They do a lot of charity work and fund raising for same. They organize social events themselves. The do a community out reach group. There is a lot going on there. And they are by no means unique in this.
Yes, let the kids go to church if they want. Heaven forbid...well, you know what I mean... that atheists should ever adopt some 'thou shalt not be yoked with a believer' dictum. If the subject of not going to church comes up, I'd suggest saying frankly, you don't believe it any more and you are disinclined to just keep on going as if you did believe. If they want to discuss it, then be open and frank about your views and let them know that you are fine with what they decide.
Of course there may be ramifications if word gets back, but think of us a support group. Hopefully, your former church does not employ a Gestapo for God to check up on backsliders.
There are pitfalls in allowing the kids to attend church and at the same time being open and honest about your own beliefs. I can easily picture zealots working on your kids to bring you back into the fold. There are many out there that want to "save" us - or at least save our money into their pockets!
It might be easier to just allow the children to go to church and explain that you are seeking another church (not exactly truthful). Perhaps, over time; explain your new truth? Of course it depend on the age and maturity of the children.
My deconversion happened after my kids were out of the nest, but if it hadn't, I would not turn it into some kind of event and have the spiritual equivalent of The Talk. That's over-thinking it. You are still in the shadow of your theistic taboos and think on some level that this is a portentous sea change that potentially is confusing or disturbing to young children and therefore must be "managed".
You can actually exist without church services. It doesn't require special permission or some kind of over-compensation. Once you overcome the faux guilt of actually having a whole day handed back to you on a silver platter, believe me, you'll find things to do.
I like Cruithne's suggestions the best ... sleep / cuddle in, pancakes for breakfast ... what more could you want? ;-) It's even therapeutic ... getting used to the idea that life isn't all striving to be good enough.
You can make your own family traditions and rituals centered around real people (your family) rather than imaginary ones. It's just as powerful and satisfying -- more so actually.
There are pitfalls in allowing the kids to attend church and at the same time being open and honest about your own beliefs. I can easily picture zealots working on your kids to bring you back into the fold. There are many out there that want to "save" us - or at least save our money into their pockets!
It might be easier to just allow the children to go to church and explain that you are seeking another church (not exactly truthful). Perhaps, over time; explain your new truth? Of course it depend on the age and maturity of the children.
There are pitfalls in everything, ("Even the very wise cannot see all ends." Gandalf LOR/FR)yet being as honest and truthful as possible is a good habit to get into.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
that atheists should ever adopt some 'thou shalt not be yoked with a believer' dictum. If the subject of not going to church comes up, I'd suggest saying frankly, you don't believe it any more and you are disinclined to just keep on going as if you did believe. If they want to discuss it, then be open and frank about your views and let them know that you are fine with what they decide. 
Hopefully, your former church does not employ a Gestapo for God to check up on backsliders.
Explore your place in it and push your limits and boundaries for how you have immersed yourself in it to date. These are the moments we share with loved ones. Moments we will never get back again. Revel in them. 
