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Christianity and belief are complex ideas, I had no clue that saying the word atheist was going to be the cause for someone to have a stupid panic attack. You're right about open-mindedness, it can only be found out to be true by experiencing the person, not by their words. Everyone probably likes to believe they are open-minded. They are not.
LOL that's really creative on your daughter's part, glad it worked out well. Great post, thank you.
You're welcome. And just to clarify what I mean by complex, I don't mean sophisticated, intelligent, educated, or scholarly. I just mean that there are reasons attached to the belief that anchor it in one's mind.
Yeah there's a guy in Cortland with giant yard signs proclaiming Trump the rightful President. Occasionally right-wingers mount protests in downtown Ithaca, and they've been known to take an ugly turn.
Not sure what this 'side chat' has to do with atheism and agnosticism.
Not sure what this 'side chat' has to do with atheism and agnosticism.
Nothing, it is just a side chat. I think we can tolerate such a minor digression; it's a natural, organic outgrowth of any conversation and humanizes us to each other.
So long as the thread is 95% on-topic, which it is, I don't see a problem or a need to be annoyed.
Nothing, it is just a side chat. I think we can tolerate such a minor digression; it's a natural, organic outgrowth of any conversation and humanizes us to each other.
So long as the thread is 95% on-topic, which it is, I don't see a problem or a need to be annoyed.
I'm not annoyed. I just don't want things to go the direction of a thread being closed down.
I'm not annoyed. I just don't want things to go the direction of a thread being closed down.
Well policies here do have a chilling effect on organic conversation patterns ... like you I tend to drop Forbidden Topics over just those very concerns. And I suppose that's the general idea.
Not sure what this 'side chat' has to do with atheism and agnosticism.
Part of the concern of the thread was whether or not the original poster should seek to relocate, and if so, to what sort of place. She expressed interest in places with a greater concentration of freethinkers; some geographical discussion can therefore be justified. Obviously my and mordant's mentioning of a couple upstate NY locales that she'd in all likelihood never move anywhere near is a bit of a digression, but it's a not-unexpected byproduct of the 'I need to move' sentiment expressed by Northsouth
I know a lot of people who live "out on the island", and my own daughter lived there for a couple of years until she moved to Pittsburgh last year, but interestingly, most of the ones I know are Jewish. We do have fundamentalists here in NJ, as well, so I know they are everywhere, but with so many people from the Indian subcontinent as well as eastern Asia in these parts now, as well as significant Jewish and Muslim populations, it just isn't a default that everyone goes to church. I think Catholicism is probably still the largest Christian group anyway. Although LI tends to be different from NJ politically, and that's all I'm gonna say about THAT, I think they might be similar religion-wise.
Daughter spends a lot of time in Buffalo. Her best friend lives there. While staying in the Toronto 'burbs, we got Buffalo TV stations. Late S.O. described Buffalo as Toronto's bucktoothed stepsister.
Interesting about Cedar Rapids. There is a strong Dutch-descent Reformed stronghold (my childhood church) in Iowa, but perhaps not in the urban areas.
ETA: Saw your other post. Daughter also went to school and lived in Albany for a number of years. She was surrounded by atheism! LOL. Seriously, the biggest driving force for her dislike of Christianity was that beginning at 14, she dated the son of a preacher man from a local fundamentalist church for six years. I was not entirely comfortable with that, as I wasn't involved at the time with any religion myself, but she was happy being involved with the youth group and being in their little church band. She was able to laugh off the six-day creation bit and 6000-year-old earth because she was smarter than that, and she was mostly focused on the boyfriend more than his church, but by her second year of college she realized he was more ensconced in his family's teachings than she knew, and a controlling nitwit besides, and once he said something completely idiotic about her chosen field of study, he was gone.
Bucktoothed stepsister, haha. Maybe more like bucktoothed third cousin...for as close as the cities are geographically, there isn't as much influence exerted by Toronto on Buffalo as I'd hope.
On the topic of the original post, given the fact that your unstable former friend is homeless and likely dealing with mental health issues, I'd think she deserves some pity. Obviously what she did caused you trauma, but upon stepping back and reflecting on what likely contributed to the strength of her outburst, hopefully your primary emotion in regards to her can ultimately be sympathy, because that person obviously needs help that a nonexistent god will never provide. One of my best friends (an atheist, fwiw) was admitted to a psych ward 16 days ago after going on a mini reign of terror where he stole as much as he could carry from a local mini-mart, then played a game of chicken with a passing car outside the store, then reached for a cop's taser upon the cops' arrival on the scene...for all the lip service that society may now pay to mental health issues, people still seem to massively lack patience for the mentally ill in moments of acute crisis, and I'm not really sure how to go about addressing that. Halfhearted awareness campaigns can only accomplish so much....
And on that note, I'm going out to a music festival!
Part of the concern of the thread was whether or not the original poster should seek to relocate, and if so, to what sort of place. She expressed interest in places with a greater concentration of freethinkers; some geographical discussion can therefore be justified. Obviously my and mordant's mentioning of a couple upstate NY locales that she'd in all likelihood never move anywhere near is a bit of a digression, but it's a not-unexpected byproduct of the 'I need to move' sentiment expressed by Northsouth
Yes, it was a completely appropriate conversation. Oh and btw, if I knew the area at all I would not hesitate to move to upstate NY. I've been to NYC and honestly it was scary to me lol but I've never lived in a large city like that. It was a good experience but just spending one day in NYC isn't enough to get a vibe. I want to travel and see and do things I've never seen or done but I'm afraid I just don't have the stamina any longer.
Thanks for the info hopefully I don't have to go too far to get relief from this madness.
On the topic of the original post, given the fact that your unstable former friend is homeless and likely dealing with mental health issues, I'd think she deserves some pity.
I don't disagree with this at all. But like I stated before, I am not equipped to handle that. I've witnessed and dealt with mental illness in my family. That is not an excuse for bad behavior. If her family had had her committed, along with themselves, then things may have been different. Her problems are not my problems and I am in no position to help her in any kind of way except to be a good friend. I wonder if you have read the whole thread? Because there is more to the story than just the OP.
Quote:
Obviously what she did caused you trauma, but upon stepping back and reflecting on what likely contributed to the strength of her outburst, hopefully your primary emotion in regards to her can ultimately be sympathy, because that person obviously needs help that a nonexistent god will never provide.
Again, not my problem. I was screamed at, judged, condemned and made to feel like the devil itself, if there were one. I don't accept that this is not a big deal. I was frightened and in shock. I'm not going to lessen my experience because of her mental illness. It's her responsibility to get help. She verbally assaulted me in my own home. Uh-uh.
Quote:
One of my best friends (an atheist, fwiw) was admitted to a psych ward 16 days ago after going on a mini reign of terror where he stole as much as he could carry from a local mini-mart, then played a game of chicken with a passing car outside the store, then reached for a cop's taser upon the cops' arrival on the scene...for all the lip service that society may now pay to mental health issues, people still seem to massively lack patience for the mentally ill in moments of acute crisis, and I'm not really sure how to go about addressing that. Halfhearted awareness campaigns can only accomplish so much....
That's unfortunate and I hope this person gets the proper help that he needs. It's not a matter of impatience as much as it is a lack of understanding, or ignorance if you will, about mental illness and what that means. The fact that this person is an atheist is irrelevant just as much as being religious is. This is about people, not their belief or lack thereof.
No one is closer to mental illness than I am. FWIW.
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