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Please do not encourage him to stay and chat...what he did in crafting his initial post in this thread, which was to substitute an 'atheist strawman' in place of mordant because he couldn't be bothered to actually put in the effort to figure out mordant's precise beliefs, is all he ever does. He argues against caricatures of his own creation rather than individuals, then accuses us of the same.
I didn't think I was. I thought I worded it more like put up or shut up but more politely. Anyway, quite right, I agree and this is Mordants thread. I'll say no more.
I didn't think I was. I thought I worded it more like put up or shut up but more politely. Anyway, quite right, I agree and this is Mordants thread. I'll say no more.
My comment/'request' was meant more rhetorically...it was just an outlet for me to expound on my dislike of O'Darb_'s tactics and inclinations
You say 'forced to have' multiple times. There's nothing 'forced' here. It's the opposite - it's just a simple acceptance of reality. It's entirely unforced in fact.
I feel like this thread is dealing with very sensitive subject matter all round. We've all been affected by cancer. So I think we have to tread very carefully and try not to be insensitive to what people are going through and have gone through.
I'm sure there's nothing I can say to you that you probably haven't already thought about.
So I'm going to speak in general about 'God's plan'.
If we want to believe that cancer is part of gods plan for us, we can't pick and choose who we think is okay to get it just because of an age / time factor. Very young kids get cancer too, live no real quality of life, in pain, and die at a young age. I have no idea how a belief in god in these cases is 'comforting'. There's more clarity in the assumption that cancer has nothing to do with god, it's just biology and cells gone wrong.
Okay maybe not 'comforting' in the sense that you mean it. But there's no grappling with the inevitable questions of why does someone get a raw deal and someone else gets a better deal?. There's no why us? Why them? There is no why. It just is. It puts everyone on a level playing field in my view.
Because you know if your child dies they are spending life in eternity with the Creator - not living with worms in the dirt.
God guarantees nothing to us. A better deal? A great life? No suffering? None of that matters in regard to the belief in God.
Good golly, why would you and mountainrose even post on that topic in this thread? Can't we just support Mordant and his wife for the time being?
I’m sorry Bungalove if I upset you!
That was my idea (perhaps misguided??) of support for Mordant due to his post #25 which stated:
“ we both very much need to go with statistical probabilities, "prepare for the worst and hope for the best within reason" sorts of people. So we are educating ourselves about treatment and end of life options ... if it somehow turns out to be not immediately needed info, all the better, but preparedness is important to us.”
Many people don’t know of these options that are available when there is unbearable suffering — it can help with the stress just knowing it is available if needed.
And we ALL are hoping for the best with Mordant’s wife. As I told him in another thread — I have three girlfriends who have survived ovarian cancer and are doing fantastic years later.
Last edited by mountainrose; 02-16-2024 at 04:19 PM..
Because you know if your child dies they are spending life in eternity with the Creator - not living with worms in the dirt.
God guarantees nothing to us. A better deal? A great life? No suffering? None of that matters in regard to the belief in God.
If you want to believe that you all are spending life in eternity with the Creator that is just fine and dandy.
But for those of us who do not think that is reality... we have come to terms with being with worms in dirt and being part of the circle of poo. There is something very appealing about non existence other than being basic elements.
Oh, Mordant this soooo sucks. Thankfully you now finally have a more clear diagnosis.
You have been through this way too many times now — the only positive is the strong coping and caregiving skills you’ must have surely developed.
I’m so hoping this doesn’t turn to end-of-life options, but if it does - do you know about Switzerland and BELGIUM and their very compassionate aid in dying programs? You don’t even need to be terminal.
I don’t know if you live in a state with MAID availability— but if not, both Oregon and Vermont are now taking out-of-state people with a six month terminal diagnosis. I wouldn’t normally post this, but I suspect you and your wife are open to at least assessing all possible future options.
Sending ❤️
Thanks, mountainrose.
We are within driving distance of Vermont if it comes to that, and no she doesn't want to go through brutal chemo if it's unlikely to succeed or gives her no quality of life. That means she would not likely fight it if it's stage 4.
One day at at time, though.
Surgery is now set for March 1. That will give us preliminary staging, with the finer points and recommended treatment plan some days after. Next week we have to go back up to the cancer center for pre-op testing, etc.
My stepdaughter is flying here on the 1st in part so my stepson doesn't have to be at loose ends alone here at home. She'll stay a few days.
Thanks MQ. Although my wife IS busy keeping journals to bequeath to / planning possible activities with her adult kids. While we don't have to keep them entertained like with young ones, there is still some degree of attention involved, and we're on that. Her kids are the only family members who know about what's brewing just yet.
I am grateful that my wife and I are very similar in how we process things like this ... we both very much need to go with statistical probabilities, "prepare for the worst and hope for the best within reason" sorts of people. So we are educating ourselves about treatment and end of life options ... if it somehow turns out to be not immediately needed info, all the better, but preparedness is important to us.
My wife is completely fearless, but processing sadness about the very real possibility of leaving her loved ones early. She has always possessed a strong will to live (in the various senses of that phrase) and what is sad for me is seeing that light dim somewhat for the first time since I've known her. She has always punched through and "risen to the occasion"; now increasingly I must do that for her.
I am so sorry for your wife having gone through the knee replacements (or I guess still recovering from them) only to find this abdominal issue (which would be more than enough on its own).
Your wife is so fortunate you recognize that you need to advocate for her.
Obviously the most important thing for her besides hanging tough through the physical aspects is to attend to her children and yourself.
I had a counselor when I was in a crisis tell me something that really helped me. He told me if I was not able to deal with my feelings it was okay to just think (because thinking was what was actually going to get me through it). Stay rational through the crisis and consider how you feel about it later... Sounds like you are doing a good job (all of you).
So sorry for what you are going through as a family and I hope you stay strong and stick together.
Because you know if your child dies they are spending life in eternity with the Creator - not living with worms in the dirt.
God guarantees nothing to us. A better deal? A great life? No suffering? None of that matters in regard to the belief in God.
Don't kid yourself. People of faith such as yourself don't 'know' any such thing. You think that, because you're comforted by delusion. All organisms die, and atheists are mature enough to deal with that reality without taking refuge in childish fantasies
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