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i found this on the net, would be funniy if it wern't so true of the religious groups.
"I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off."
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Pentecostal:
Only one.
Hands already in the air.
Presbyterian:
None.
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Catholic:
None.
Candles only.
Southern Baptist:
At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and
three committees to approve the change
and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalian:
Three.
One to call the electrician,
one to mix the drinks, and
one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.
Mormon:
Five.
One man to change the bulb and
four wives to tell him how to do it.
Methodist:
Undetermined.
Whether your light is
bright, dull, or
completely burned out, you are loved.
You can be a
light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church-wide lighting service is planned
for Sunday.
Bring the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene:
Six.
One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church guide on lighting policy.
Lutheran:
None.
Lutherans don't believe in change.
Church of Christ:
They do not use light bulbs because
there is no evidence of their use
in the New Testament.
Unitarian:
We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found
that light bulbs work for you, that is fine.
You are invited to write a poem or compose
a modern dance about your bulb for next
Sunday's service, during which we will explore
a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life,
and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths
to luminescence.
how many christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Pentecostal:
Only one.
Hands already in the air.
Presbyterian:
None.
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Catholic:
None.
Candles only.
Southern baptist:
At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and
three committees to approve the change
and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalian:
Three.
One to call the electrician,
one to mix the drinks, and
one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.
Mormon:
Five.
One man to change the bulb and
four wives to tell him how to do it.
Methodist:
Undetermined.
Whether your light is
bright, dull, or
completely burned out, you are loved.
You can be a
light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church-wide lighting service is planned
for sunday.
Bring the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene:
Six.
One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church guide on lighting policy.
Lutheran:
None.
Lutherans don't believe in change.
Church of christ:
They do not use light bulbs because
there is no evidence of their use
in the new testament.
Unitarian:
We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found
that light bulbs work for you, that is fine.
You are invited to write a poem or compose
a modern dance about your bulb for next
sunday's service, during which we will explore
a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life,
and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths
to luminescence.
Amish:
What's a light bulb?
:d
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