Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
10,202 posts, read 7,875,624 times
Reputation: 4559
A man dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Pete tells him in order to get in he has to have earned 300 points.
Man: Okay, so how do I know how many points I have?
Peter: Well, tell me what you did with your life?
Man: Let’s see, I taught Sunday School and served as a deacon in my church for 50 years. I brought food to the widows and visited the homebound for many years.
Peter: Wow, that’s great! That’s one point.
Man: One point?! Uh, okay. Well, let’s see. I obeyed all the traffic laws, never stole anything in my life, always told the truth, and stayed faithful to my wife our entire marriage. I raised our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and they’re all happily married and have good kids of their own now.
Peter: That’s wonderful! That’s another point. Now you have two.
Man: (Gulp) Okay. Um. Well, I also tithed 10% of every dollar I made, I led several clothing drives, I paid my taxes on time, and prayed every day of my adult life. I read the Bible every day. I witnessed to hundreds of people and led several people to the Lord.
Peter: Awesome! That’s three points. Only 297 left to go.
Man: Shoot, there’s no way then! It’s only by the grace of God anybody will get in there!
Peter: That’s 297 points. Come on in.
(I can just see it now, fundies will shout "Amen", atheists will actually get the irony.)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.