Atheist Forum Joke Thread (rejecting, Creator, believe, Mormons)

[Tantalust]

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Source: Cartoon Of The Day - Westboro Baptist Church On Free Speech | Fire Jim Moran

[Tantalust]

15th century Christian self-flagellators:



___________add your own caption here________

[Asheville Native]

^^^^^ none that wouldn't be deleted

[Tantalust]

Super Deluxe Bible History #1 - YouTube

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Awesome presentation. That actually explains a point about the story that had caused me to doubt - how in a place like Sodom or Gomorrah there could be a couple of virginge daughters over the age of twelve? Well, it was simple. Lot was simply lying. What a relief! I can go back to unquestioning belief in the Gospel - reliable factuality of the story.

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[007.5]

Originally Posted by Miss Blue

A husband and wife came for counselling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fishing.
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President Bush was sitting at his desk in the oval office when the Secretary of War walked in...

How goes the war in Iraq", asked Pres. Bush

"Terrible", said the Secretary of War, "Six Brazilian Soldiers were killed today"

"My, that is terrible news", replied President Bush

As the Secretary of War was leaving President Bush picked up the phone and called Condalezza Rice...

"Connie", he said, "How many is a Brazillion"?
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An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."

The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.

The man says, "I want two more of these."
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Heres my favorite ----

Title : ODE TO THE EVOLUTIONIST

Once i was a tadpole when i did begin
then i was a Frog with my tail tucked in.
Then i was a monkey swingin' from a tree
now im a Professor with a P.H.D. !

[TRANSPONDER]

Originally Posted by 007.5

Heres my favorite ----

Title : ODE TO THE EVOLUTIONIST

Once i was a tadpole when i did begin
then i was a Frog with my tail tucked in.
Then i was a monkey swingin' from a tree
now im a Professor with a P.H.D. !

I liked that! It reminded me that I copied a few limericks posted a year or so ago by various posters. I think they could bear reposting:

An atheist’s outlook is sunny
‘Cause so much of life can be funny.
Without a hereafter
We cherish the laughter
And savor each moment like honey.

A mininster once shocked his See
by turning to apostacy
"My God-searching led
back into my head"
"I've found God", he explained, "and it's me."


Religion resembles a lobster
which claws and maims like a mobster
The outspoken, it kills
and fear, it instills
and in terms of tithes, it's a robster.

The Bible would have us believe
that we're offspring of Adam and Eve.
God being the wisest,
He figured that incest
Would make us all nicely naive

There was a young jewess called mary
who was visited once by a fairy.
virgin birth the sprite offered
she declined what he proffered
when asked why: "He was just far too hairy."

There was an old preacher called Paul
who didn't like kosher at all.
so he picked up the Torah,
walked down to the agora
and slung the thing over the wall.

Being what one wants to be
Is something the theists don't see
Non-believers, they curse,
they browbeat and coerce
And thereby they demean you and me.

Thanks to the originators, all.

[Lamplight]

7 Things From Pop Culture That Apparently **** Jesus Off | Cracked.com

This may be more disturbing than funny.