Bringing the Scientific Method to Magic Crackers (believe, priests, Jesus)

[Nozzferrahhtoo]

I have long heard claims being made, specifically in the Catholic faith, that during certain ceremonies, when certain propitiations are made, that normal Cracker Bread is changed “literally” into the body of a long dead Jewish Human Male.

There are those of course that claim that the transformation is symbolic not literal, which I have not concerned myself with here as they are essentially saying nothing. I limit my inquiry only to those who claim a literal transformation.

I decide therefore over a 2 year period to investigate these claims. I thought it useful to disseminate a short summary of my tests and summary of my results to a couple of forums. The hope is that further testing can be suggested that I might have missed.

Experimental setup:

As a setup I obtained “normal” and “consecrated” hosts in sufficient numbers and continued to do so over the 2 year period to make sure that I was working with both “fresh” and “dormant” samples.

As the transformation was meant to be into something resembling human flesh I, where possible, also used volunteer skin samples in my tests.

Blind experimentation:

To remove and risk of bias in the experiments I performed ALL experiments in the following fashion. I used 4 cracker samples in all cases.

Sample A: Chosen randomly by me from the “normal” pile.
Sample B: Chosen randomly by me from the “consecrated” pile.
Sample C: Chosen randomly by a third party from either pile without informing me which it was from.
Sample D: Chosen randomly by a third party from the other pile without informing me which it was from.
Sample E: Collection of random skin samples from human volunteers, myself included.

The order of the samples was then hidden and mixed from me by another separate party so that until the results were in I would not know if the results connected to samples A, B, C or D.

Sample summary of Experiments performed:

The samples were then subjected to many tests of which this is a random but not exhaustive sample list:

1) Burning tests, testing energy released in burning, burning time, change in mass of sample between before and after burning, color of flame (light wavelengths measured).
2) Chemical testing: Disolving in various chemicals and measuring energy releases, mass changes, chemical composition of diluted samples.
3) Degradation testing: Observing the differences in samples left to their own devices to measure differences in chemical breakdown due to food “going off” etc.
4) Luck testing: Engaged in various tests of luck in the presence of, or following the consumption of Samples from each group. Dice Games. Lottery Ticket use. Guessing Games and much more.
5) Emotional testing: Gauged personal subjective impression of mood changes in a group of volunteer subjects in the presence of, or following the consumption of, Samples from each group over 24 hour periods.
6) Priest testing: Proffered Samples to a selection of priests who were unable to identify which crackers were “normal” and which were “consecrated”.
7) Float testing: Tested the floating properties of each Sample .
8) Mass testing: Tested for differences in mass, density and other physical properties between samples, including aerodynamic abilities and resistance to physical stress such as piercing with nails (rusty and normal), tearing, toasting, hammering, bending, stamping and more.

Summary of Results:

There was in ALL tests absolutely NO difference between the samples at any stage except for minute expected differences in mass between all samples (even among each sample group) which are within expected tolerances for normal human food manufacturing variances.

There was in ALL tests NO significant overlap of comparative results between any crackers and any human skin samples.

Conclusion:

There is no basis at this time apparent to support any claims that there is any form of “literal” transformation in the “consecrated” samples.

Further Study:

I still posses a number of samples of each time and am more than happy to engage in further testing should anyone manage to submit a test idea that I have not yet engaged in.

[jaida]

Ha, this is the first I've heard of someone attempting this sort of experiment. For your next experiment you could guzzle down the consecrated wine and see if you stay sober. According to Catholic dogma, the wine transforms into Jesus' blood after the consecration. But I can just hear the Pope now, explaining how you weren't really drunk off of wine--it was the power of the Holy Spirit in you.

[TRANSPONDER]

I must say that what most intrigues me about this experiment is not the results, but of how you got the co-operation.

[BuenoQueHacemohAhora]

"4) Luck testing: Engaged in various tests of luck in the presence of, or following the consumption of Samples from each group. Dice Games. Lottery Ticket use. Guessing Games and much more."

yuck, eating volunteer skin samples


You could have asked any number of altar kids who have eaten them both before and after. They taste he same and dissolve in the mouth just the same, unlike flesh.

[Nozzferrahhtoo]

I did not want to engage in second hand reporting so asking people who have eaten them was no good to me. I had to perform the tests myself, or on other people while observing them eating etc.

Taking second hand information after the fact by interview is lazy science and I wished to avoid it.

As for eating skin samples... many people have done much.... much worse... to themselves in the name of science including knowingly injesting poisons or subjecting themselves to incredible stresses, radiations and other horrific experimentation. Some people have even died in their quest for knowledge.

I would recommend the book AJ Jacobs called "know it all" for a comical and interesting history of this as he looked often in his writing at scientists of history who have gone to inordinate lengths to further the cause of science.

So all in all, my own sacrifices were relatively mundane.

Interesting side note... I have had it seriously suggested to me by theists.... and independently jokingly suggests to be by non-theists, that I rename section 8 above to "Torture Testing".

That two groups independently would come up with the same thing shows that some atheists have a dark sense of humor... while some theists REALLY do believe these crackers become a piece of their Jewish Zombie lord.

I actually started the experimentation under the impression that no one REALLY believed this stuff deep down, that even those who claimed to really only believed it symbolically. I have since learned that some people think my experimentation akin to... as one theist wrote to me... kidnapping a small child and performing invasive and painful experimentation on it.

One is a cracker. One is a living child. They equate the two.

It has been a learning experience for me, I must say.

[TRANSPONDER]

" as one theist wrote to me... kidnapping a small child and performing invasive and painful experimentation on it."

I didn't see the entire post to you so I may be taking it out of context, but I'd rather see the painful experimenting as on the vulnerable child of Faith.

Theist Faith is an odd beast. It is as strong as carbon fibre. Armour piercing logic bounces off, 100 megaton evidence leaves it it unmarked. But at the same time, they squeal like kids if they think you're going to remove any of it.

To drive the metaphor into the ground, Faith is the invar - steel armour. Remove any of it and the pale shrinking thing within is terribly vulnerable.

[Miss Blue]

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