Remember Atlanta Barbies? (Smyrna, Alpharetta, Dunwoody: crime, credit card, house)

[koko339]

Anyone remember the different Barbies?

[Neemy]

Originally Posted by koko339

Anyone remember the different Barbies?

Mmmm...nope! But I was never really into Barbies - I was a tomboy. (You are talking about the doll, right?)

[Neemy]

Okay, I googled (http://www.hrmiller.com/atlanta-barbies.asp - broken link). What's up with the East Cobb Barbie?!

Edit: nope, that was the Carrolton Barbie I was reading. Serious "WTF" moment, there!

[Plokivos]

I found this on GG. What about it. It's dumb and not that clever. It's really not even close to the fact.



Buckhead Barbie This princess Barbie is only sold at Phipps Plaza. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign lap-dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter dream house with a water feature in front. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic ex-husband Ken comes with a Porsche.

Chamblee Barbie This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar mini-van and matching gym suit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately. Can swear in English, Spanish, Chinese, Korean or Vietnamese, but she's not sure which is which. Available at Target.

Hapeville Barbie This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, bowie knife, a '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be bought with cash, preferably small bills, unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Dunwoody Barbie This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card set, and country club membership. Also available are Shallow Ken and Spanish-speaking Nanny. Dunwoody Barbie hasn't been affordable since the early 80's.

Jonesboro Barbie This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a classic Metallica shirt,and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. Wants to major in NASCAR at Clayton State College. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Available at Southlake Mall.

Conyers Barbie This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Jonesboro Barbie's (discontinued) house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss, and a see-through halter top. Comes with Barbie's dream double wide trailer. Available at Wal-Mart. Cheap.

Kennesaw Barbie This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears leopard print spandex and drinks cosmopolitans to new age music with friends at the lodge. Into crystals. Comes with Percocet prescription and botox. Also cheap.

College Park Barbie This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a G.E.D. and bus pass to Kennesaw State University. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant doll.
Decatur Barbie This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Decatur Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker free.

Alpharetta Barbie Pregnant at purchase, Alpharetta Barbie drives a new Ford Excursion and is perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or in Japan on business. Alpharetta Barbie aspires to become Buckhead Barbie. Not cheap, but still very naive.
Smyrna Barbie Into football, animals and bonfires. 98% belong to a cult, 2% are freethinking and void of any "traditions." Does nothing but complain about Midtown Barbie/Ken.

Buford Barbie This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three babies in the back, without car seats. This is the only Barbie willing to do manual labor. Ken comes in a meat-packer's uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not yet available for Buford Barbie or Ken. Available only at Value City.

Midtown Barbie/Ken This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the "snap-on" parts. Likes to "experiment." Doesn't understand why Smyrna Barbie complains so much.

[Neemy]

Originally Posted by Plokivos

I found this on GG. What about it. It's dumb and not that clever. It's really not even close to the fact.

Yeah, link was right in the post above yours.

It's fiction. I do NOT drive a minivan!!!!

edit: your info has the East Cobb Barbie listed on my link as "Chamblee??"

Not that it matters. I still don't drive a minivan.

[GrowOldGetWise]

I remember those rookies. If I remember correctly, the girls got off light, and the guys got the 25 year sentence.

[Plokivos]

Originally Posted by Neemy

Yeah, link was right in the post above yours.

It's fiction. I do NOT drive a minivan!!!!

edit: your info has the East Cobb Barbie listed on my link as "Chamblee??"

Not that it matters. I still don't drive a minivan.

LOL it's all right, except for East Cobb Barbie. Woman in East Cobb tend to get especially excited for "Balls" and "Dances" or "Christmas Parties", where they go buy a new outfit and new shoes.

And they don't drive mini-vans, they drive Lexus.

[stvincent]

Originally Posted by Plokivos

LOL it's all right, except for East Cobb Barbie. Woman in East Cobb tend to get especially excited for "Balls" and "Dances" or "Christmas Parties", where they go buy a new outfit and new shoes.

And they don't drive mini-vans, they drive Lexus.

I think it really was referencing Chamblee Barbie. East Cobb doesn't have that kind of diversity, in comparison with Chamblee.

And funny post with all the different Barbies, made me cackle!

And who went to jail? The people who made up all those Metro Atlanta Barbies??

[particle]

To clear up the confusion, the Barbie Bandits were a completely different thing:
‘Barbie bandits’ sentenced for robbery - U.S. news - Crime & courts - msnbc.com

[Neemy]

Originally Posted by Plokivos

LOL it's all right, except for East Cobb Barbie. Woman in East Cobb tend to get especially excited for "Balls" and "Dances" or "Christmas Parties", where they go buy a new outfit and new shoes.

And they don't drive mini-vans, they drive Lexus.

Hey, now, I have never been to a "Ball". And I drive a Mazda.