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so, i have been in the worst period of indecision i have ever had in my entire life. and i am very interested (as always) in hearing all your comments and opinions, no matter how smarmy or insulting.
first off, i am a native georgian. spent my first 31 years there. specifically, i grew up in north georgia in a tiny, tiny town that is about an hour north of atlanta. frankly, it was hellish. i did not "fit in" in my town. i'm not a satanist, transgendered, or anything really- i am quite vanilla. i was just different, and i suffered for it. nothing unusual in that really.
fast forward to my early thirties, where i found myself with a job in carmel california (which i wasn't too fond of, hate the fog) and so wound up moving 6 months later to los angeles. and i LOVED it. loved it. loved it. for the first time i felt normal. i didn't get stared at and i didn't get into arguments with people about religion or politics. i could eat raw food and buy weed in the store and bump into celebrities and whine about the gangs and the traffic. i loved it.
but i have family that i love and adore back home. i have been away for 6 years, and they have been some of the best years of my life. but for the past few months instead of feeling very clear about what i should do, i have been continuously torn. haven't been able to find a job, and i really think alot of that has to do with my indecisiveness. i have never had a problem finding a job and something kept keeping me back from putting in my full effort. then the japanese earthquake happened and it caused me to reassess "where i am at" in every way possible. so i decided to come home.
problem is, i stopped and visited my cousin who just moved to sedona arizona. i was hoping it would recharge me for the two days driving i have ahead of me, but instead, it has filled me with doubts. he has only been out west since christmas, and he is filled with the adoration of the west as only someone who has never experienced it can have. there is a definite difference of feeling out west that i am now realizing i may not be able to live without.
my sister lives in decatur, right near the old city hall. i love decatur and it seems to combine all the big city amenities with a sense of the small town.
but there are some serious misgivings, as i said.
first off-
I AM REALLY not into the whole black/white thing. what i mean, specifically, is that it is always on the table there, always an issue. being in a place like LA where diversity is the norm, its going to be strange to live in a binary city like atlanta. yeah, there is a smattering of other folk there, and atlanta is no backwater, but the race thing is just so in your face. i am certainly not painting los angeles as a racial utopia, but its a lot better than getting "the attitude" from the black supermarket checkout girls on buford highway or not being served in a restaurant because i am white (yeah, that really happened). i mean, i marched for MLK day, was engaged to a black man, and i am a huge soul music fan- i don't wanna have to "prove" that i am not a racist just because i am a white chick. i mean, give me a break. this is the 21st century and i just don't want to have those conversations. i am not used to it anymore. i am not sure that i have the patience. i just want to let all that go yet whenever i go home i am kinda shocked at the ghetto attitude, an attitude i have never even encountered in the LBC- and then on the other hand you have to deal with either the white people out to prove they have no problem with other races or the others eager to prove they DO have a problem. like i said, its just on the table there all the time.
also, in LA, if you are gay, it isn't even discussed. its not like, "oh, my GAY friend" like i hear so often with my GA friends. if someone is a satanist or a heroin addict that might garner a few comments but nobody, and i mean, nobody that i know has those conversations.
and i am also not looking forward to dealing with the redneck element, an element that made my life hell for all my school years. to this day when i hear lynrd skynrd i cringe.
don't get me wrong- i am VERY proud of being a georgian. otis redding, jimmy carter, little richard, MLK? soul food? dirt roads in the summer- even the kudzu. i am not a georgia basher.
i am just trying to look at it all square in the eye before i drive for two days only to find myself in a place that is not a good fit for me. i don't have children, i have some money, a big fat van and absolutely no clue as to what to do. i am not at all expecting someone else to solve that for me, but i would sure love to hear people's opinions and see if the situation has changed in ATL for the better or if i am not better off keeping my freak azz in CA and enjoy GA from a distance.
wanted to add that i have been reading some old threads here on CD and i am pretty happy with what i have found. ATL is getting more diverse, the film industry is exploding, and plus its home. if there are any particular districts that you guys find more suitable for artsy types let me know. my sister lives in oakhurst area of decatur and i am finding alot of people mentioning that area in particular as being fantastic. walkability is a huge factor in my comfort anywhere- i really love walking, don't believe it when they say nobody walks in LA ; P
also, in LA, if you are gay, it isn't even discussed. its not like, "oh, my GAY friend" like i hear so often with my GA friends. if someone is a satanist or a heroin addict that might garner a few comments but nobody, and i mean, nobody that i know has those conversations.
and i am also not looking forward to dealing with the redneck element, an element that made my life hell for all my school years. to this day when i hear lynrd skynrd i cringe.
don't get me wrong- i am VERY proud of being a georgian. otis redding, jimmy carter, little richard, MLK? soul food? dirt roads in the summer- even the kudzu. i am not a georgia basher.
i am just trying to look at it all square in the eye before i drive for two days only to find myself in a place that is not a good fit for me. i don't have children, i have some money, a big fat van and absolutely no clue as to what to do. i am not at all expecting someone else to solve that for me, but i would sure love to hear people's opinions and see if the situation has changed in ATL for the better or if i am not better off keeping my freak azz in CA and enjoy GA from a distance.
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I really don't know what to tell you.
'Diversity' in GA may never be comparable to LA. Progress has been made.
A recent bill in the legislature will permit cities/counties to hold referendums on the sale of alcohol on Sunday.
I live in the North Decatur area---black/white issues are few and many same sex households can be found in my neighborhood. People seem to be very focused on work/professional responsibilities and enjoying the limited time that is left.
It sounds like you have some painful memories --I would dump as much of the negativity as possible before arriving in Decatur---'the glass is half empty or half full...'
Meh, I am the opposite. I'm trying to get OUT of GA asap. I've been out to L.A. a couple of times and have really enjoyed that "fitting in" you mention. I'm not a native Georgian, I moved here from south Florida back in 1990 as a child, but felt I've never really fit in here. Not that I want to move to L.A., I don't, but it seemed nicer than Atlanta. Heck, I drove around Inglewood, Crenshaw (both kinda by accident), South Central and a few other "bad" places and still felt safer than I would driving through downtown Atlanta at night. This place has turned me into quite the curmudgeon.
I dunno, I'm not very fond of a lot of the stuff that goes on around here, the politics (don't get me started), the crime/general thuggery, the rednecks. I mean, one of these one-hit-wonder rappers and his "boys" were staying at a high-end hotel in Buckhead. When they left, the valet gave them the keys to another customer's Lamborghini to whch they accepted and took the car for a joy ride and destroyed it. When APD stepped in, this "rapper" made a deal with APD that basically said "I'll tell you where the car is but you can't press charges on me or any of my friends who were involved". APD TOOK THE DEAL. Yeah, they did. This "deal" also prevented the owner of the car from being able to hold this "rapper" accountable for obstructing or allow the guilty people from being held responsible in any way, shape or form. Yeah...great job APD..nice display of showing how thugs can do what they want around here.
Geographically speaking, I like Atlanta. The hills, mountains, rivers and how it's not a bad drive to other cities or the beach. I do like Chick-Fil-A and Taco Mac. I also wouldn't say Atlanta is all that walk-friendly....at least not after visiting Austin, Boston, New York city, Charleston and Salk Lake City. I say enjoy Atlanta from a distance.
The culture shock from LA to Atlanta should be minimal, but some of that depends on you and how easily you adjust to different physical environments. It's not like you are going from big city to small town - you are going from big city to big city. Atlanta is basically everything that LA is...with just less of it. To me, when cities get above several million people, you can interchange them easily.
The "black-white thing" is no different in Atlanta than anywhere else...isn't LA where most of the riots were in '92? That was a BIG black-white thing...anyway, I think you'll find Atlanta plenty diverse and constantly getting even moreso:
Atlanta-Sandy Springs-Gainesville, GA-AL CSA
White alone: 3,165,672
Black or African American alone: 1,769,623
American Indian and Alaska Native alone: 19,202
Asian alone: 259,169
Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander alone: 2,925
Some Other Race alone: 269,296
Two or More Races: 132,544
Hispanic or Latino (of any race): 602,485
Total: 5,618,431
I know it may "seem" like no one in LA is judgemental, but with the number of conservative groups that are based in that city I'm pretty sure there is a good bit of judgemental conversation happening. As evidence, remember Prop 8...not all of the votes came from rural areas.
LA has more racism. Mexicans Vs Mexicans, Mexicans vs White + Blacks, etc. LA had the riots, LA also had racist hispanic gangs killing innocient AA's, etc
wound up moving 6 months later to los angeles. and i LOVED it. loved it. loved it. for the first time i felt normal. i didn't get stared at and i didn't get into arguments with people about religion or politics. i could eat raw food and buy weed in the store and bump into celebrities and whine about the gangs and the traffic. i loved it.
but i have family that i love and adore back home. i have been away for 6 years, and they have been some of the best years of my life. but for the past few months instead of feeling very clear about what i should do, i have been continuously torn. haven't been able to find a job, and i really think alot of that has to do with my indecisiveness. i have never had a problem finding a job and something kept keeping me back from putting in my full effort. then the japanese earthquake happened and it caused me to reassess "where i am at" in every way possible. so i decided to come home.
problem is, i stopped and visited my cousin who just moved to sedona arizona. i was hoping it would recharge me for the two days driving i have ahead of me, but instead, it has filled me with doubts. he has only been out west since christmas, and he is filled with the adoration of the west as only someone who has never experienced it can have. there is a definite difference of feeling out west that i am now realizing i may not be able to live without.
I think the above portion of your post answers a lot if you really explore within yourself.
You "love love love" L.A., and you agree that you might not be able to go without the West Coast feel and mentality. These are very strong reasons to not leave the West. Yes, family is important, but time and time again I've always found that if someone moves to an area JUST for family, they are usually disappointed in the long term if they're not really into the area. You talk about the "black/white" thing here, and while things have improved over the years, yes, it's a real thing to consider for some people. I have known people who have moved here who it does not seem to effect much, and others who have left the entire metro area due to it, too. If it bothered you before, chances are it will still bother you now.
You could of course always move to where you cousin is in Arizona. You would have a West Coast location (though more laid back than L.A.) and would be near some family, though I would doubt the job prospects there are exactly bustling. You didn't mention your field or what type of job you are looking for, but my guess if you can't find anything in L.A., you're holding yourself back due to wondering what your next step will be.
I'm not a psychiatrist and all I can go by are a few paragraphs of text on a computer screen. But from what I'm reading into it, I would doubt you'd be happy here... or at least not nearly as happy as L.A. makes you. Maybe you just need a different part of L.A. or even a different West Coast city (Portland, Seattle, etc).
and so wound up moving 6 months later to los angeles. and i LOVED it. loved it. loved it. for the first time i felt normal. i didn't get stared at and i didn't get into arguments with people about religion or politics. i could eat raw food and buy weed in the store and bump into celebrities and whine about the gangs and the traffic. i loved it.
I lived in LA for 9 years and I really enjoyed my time there, but I found that I really only had 4 real friends after nine years (all native CA people). When I met my wife, she had a bit of a larger group of friends than I did. The transient nature of LA made it difficult for me, as I have "friends" from LA that now live around the country or in different parts of CA. When I moved down near the beach I started making friends with people that had kids, and I found these to be better friends, maybe more settled in their life...we also bought a townhouse there, so that helped. Anyway, LA is very transient, especially at younger ages, just something to keep in mind.
I do understand how you see little judging, LA is jammed with every kind of person you can imagine...and an anything goes mentality.
Op is not from Atlanta nor does he know anything about it. The fact that he didn't know this was a gay mecca and that we have one of largest Korean population proves he is going off sterotypes.
Op is not from Atlanta nor does he know anything about it. The fact that he didn't know this was a gay mecca and that we have one of largest Korean population proves he is going off sterotypes.
The OP said he/she grew up in a small town in North GA--I take the OP at his word. <first off, i am a native georgian. spent my first 31 years there. specifically, i grew up in north georgia in a tiny, tiny town that is about an hour north of atlanta. frankly, it was hellish. i did not "fit in" in my town. i'm not a satanist, transgendered, or anything really- i am quite vanilla. i was just different, and i suffered for it. nothing unusual in that really.>
Things have changed considerably--imo--and assume that the OP is not a conservative type. There should be a number of places in the metro area that would offer a more progressive outlook----whether it would be comparable to LA--I cannot say.
I live between Decatur and Chamblee and people in this area seem to work, take care of their lives and get along rather well. That is enough for me--I don't know what is truly essential for anyone else.
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