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I think you've misread my posts. I think black women are 100% responsible for the problems of black women, and that black men are 100% responsible for the problems of black men. Unfortunately, the black community as a whole is overwhelmingly focused on the problems of black men while ignoring the problems of black women. That's not black men's fault, that's black women's fault. Black men have been properly focused on their issues, but black women have foolishly ignored their own issues while focusing on those of black men. That's not black men's fault, that's black women's fault. So no, I'm not blaming black men for the foolishness of black women. I'm encouraging black women to get real and start dealing with our own issues and problems because no one else is interested.
BlAsian -relationships between black women and Asian men - AznLover.com - AMXF - AMWF,AMBF,AMHF,AMLF,AMAF Social Networking Community (http://www.aznlover.com/vbulletin/aznlover-news/14060-blasian-relationships-between-black-women-asian-men.html - broken link)
I can't really say, having been off the market for quite some time, but I write romances and I get frequent requests for stories featuring black women and Asian men. I did a post on my blog of fine Asian men and got quite a lot of positive feedback.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayrob
Still have never heard any Black women talk about any Asian man that they wouldn't mind getting with or as being fine. Mind you I'm talking about celebrities for the most part but then again that's the case most anytime I've heard this about any race of man. It's about a celeb or someone in the public eye. Have never heard one Black women say you know that Michael Chang just does something to me. Of Jackie Chan is so fine.
BlAsian -relationships between black women and Asian men - AznLover.com - AMXF - AMWF,AMBF,AMHF,AMLF,AMAF Social Networking Community (http://www.aznlover.com/vbulletin/aznlover-news/14060-blasian-relationships-between-black-women-asian-men.html - broken link)
I can't really say, having been off the market for quite some time, but I write romances and I get frequent requests for stories featuring black women and Asian men. I did a post on my blog of fine Asian men and got quite a lot of positive feedback.
Thanks for that. I must say that is a bit of an eye opener. But I must say I was also struck by this quote from the front page by the Asian guy speaking on these Blasian relationships as they are labled there. This is what he said has to be overcome in the eyes of many---"The stereotypical Asian male nerd who is not mascuiline enough to even have sexual or romantic feelings for women. Well obviously looking at the population of China is enough to blow that away. LOL. But really there is that stereotypical image of Asian men as slightly built and not particularly virile or physically blessed let's just say. And I'm sure that many if not most Black women have that same perception of them. I have a Filipino friend back at my last job in Jersey and I could see him getting with a Black woman. But then he lives in Jersey City which is a melting pot of all cultures and he went to a majority Black and Hispanic high school.
I'm actually an untrained yet budding writer myself. Just a bit too unfocused and disciplined. You say you are a romance nevelist. Have you penned any Black on Black happily ever after type stories. Just messin with you.
No, but then I write romance novels. I have a few male fans (Oddly enough almost all of them on Navy ships in the Persian Gulf. No, I don't know why.) but for the most part, my books are written for and bought by women. In my case, black women, though I do have some readers who aren't black. I get a lot of letters from various European countries, and though some of those women are black, many make of point of telling me they're not black.
Over the years of discussing interracial issues in various forums on the internet, I've come across Asian men who are married to or otherwise with black women. A few have blogs or webpages. Is it particularly common? No, but then Asian men aren't known for marrying out of their particular group. I would imagine that both groups are the victims of assorted stereotypes, but I do see some evidence that this is changing.
Did you really have to call the poor guy out on this one? LOL! I was out of college and everything before I found out it's "converse" rather than conversate. I thought about all those times I used conversate in professional gatherings.....how embarrassing!
Over the years of discussing interracial issues in various forums on the internet, I've come across Asian men who are married to or otherwise with black women. A few have blogs or webpages. Is it particularly common? No, but then Asian men aren't known for marrying out of their particular group. I would imagine that both groups are the victims of assorted stereotypes, but I do see some evidence that this is changing.
My father, now retired, used to have a male colleague who was quite racist. It seemed to be something that came out of his British working class background. Mr. Racist had a blonde, blue-eyed daughter who eventually married a fellow student she met in grad school. He's half Asian and half black. The couple are now both college professors and they have a couple of kids. Everyone gets along fine, including all the in-laws. Sometimes things do change for the better. Goodness knows what group(s) those kids will consider themselves to belong to, as they grow up.
I wish I could believe you but the numbers and the experiences tell a different story. Sure there is no doubt in my mind there are some decent black men out there. I have 2 brothers and a multitude of male relatives who are very good men, but like I said, when you've had far too many negative experiences something is wrong. Now don't get me wrong because sisters have their own brand of foolishness which I'll get into in a bit.
Now I think I'm very cautious about the men I choose to date. Never have I liked thugs and God knows I'm turned off by men who drive flashy cars. In fact I don't even look at them. I want to get to know you, not your car. Your car means nothing to me. And I'm not going out on a date with you for a free meal like some of these other sistas do. I don't like using someone cause I don't want anybody using me. I don't want you paying my bills, there are only two men in the world that would have that spot, my father who is now deceased and my husband (who I have yet to meet). I'm a laid back, silly, no drama gal, in fact I've had many of my friends tell me I'm a guy-girl. They say this because I like so many guy oriented things, like martial arts movies, rodeos, cars etc. My point is with these qualities, you'd think I would attract a nice AA man but instead I don't. It's the usual thugs and playas and NO I don't dress in revealing clothes. This is something that has always puzzled me as well. I was raised by modest parents and I've always dressed modest. Sure I like to look good, but not like a scank. When I wear skirts they must come down to my knees and I don't not like wearing blouses that are low cut nor do I wear heels that much so I cannot figure out why these types of guys continuosly gravitate towards me??
You say you never see black women at museums and stuff of that nature but you see em at clubs? I've never liked clubs. I enjoy going to things like the Chinese New Years celebration they have here in Atlanta, county fairs and I'm waiting on that special someone that I can go to a rodeo with and to one of these Atlanta Thrasher's hockey games but where are the black men who enjoy this kinda company from women???? All the black men I meet want you to come over to their place or wanna come over to yours and when you tell you are not about that, they are gone in 60 seconds. The black men I meet spend so much time talking about their "skills" that it's not even funny. Okay so you got "skills" but are you husband and father material? Do you know your waist size cause something tells me too many black men don't. And black men. please learn how to manipulate the english language. Sure we all make grammatical errors but the constant "you know what um saying" and other stuff sounds like slave talk.
I'm not trying to argue with you cause I have a few male cousins that have complaints about black women and I think they are valid complaints. Personally I think black women have also gone to far with this whole notion of "you gotta pay my bills" and the nasty attitude needs to be checked cause lets face it nobody likes attitude. Black women also need to take some responsibility in family planning. This isn't 1940, there is no need for all these unplanned pregnancies in the black community. There is no need for all these black women to have a boatload of kids by a boatload of men. There is no need for black women to dress in all of these revealing clothes and to snatch off all her clothes to flaunt their bodies to men and dropping it and shaking their booties like it's going outta style. You wanna snatch off all your clothes and drop it and shake it...well do that with your husband, only he deserves to see your beautiful bodies! And lets get real with the weaves. Black women, you can grow your hair long if you take care of it. My hair is almost down to my waist and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how to grow your hair. Simply taking care of it and quit overprocessing it is the key. Black hair needs moisture and once you learn how to balance it with moisture and not overdoing it with the heat, your hair too can grow fast and you can cut it and it'll grow back fast and so forth. And stop being afraid of yielding to a real man's authority. I suspect the problem with this is that so many blacks grow up in homes without fathers and many black women don't have that connection with their fathers and this transfers into their relationship with men. I was fortunate enough to grow up with my biological father and really learned how to relate to men by my interactions with him. If I met a real man, I would have no problem with him leading and making major decisions.
I know I will get some flack from this post but there are two sides to every story but hey...bring it on!
Hey,
I was out of college before I realized that it's "skank" and not "scank." LOL. Sisters, need to learn how to manipulate some spelling..LOL. I didn't have to do you like that.... Moving on....
I agree with you 100% on this point. "When you've had far too many negative experiences something is wrong." Uh huh. You've hit the nail right on the head sister.
Wherever you go, there you are.....look... if you seem to be attracting the same types of black men over and over again, maybe you need to stop and ask yourself a simple question...why? I don't say that to be mean, but seriously, think about it. Could it possibly be you? This is not just to you, but to all the sisters who "amen" you out in the worls and want to co-sign your post.
Is it fair for me to say that I know plenty of awesome black women and they don't attract nary a thug unless they want that for themselves? How do they do it? Is that unfair? Ok. Can I tell you that I have dated some great women right there in Atlanta and it has not been a problem at all?
No? Ok. "The ratio is in favor of black men in Atlanta?" That doesn't seem to affect the other Christian AA women right there in Atlanta with husbands and boyfriends that are happy and doing well relationally. Do you have AA girlfriends? Are they all single? Still not fair? Let's flip it. I'm an awesome Christian AA guy and I don't attract hood rats. Rats see me and keep it moving. I do tend to attract women like me: Christian, white-collar, college-educated, no kids etc. How? It's not magic.
I have dated some really great Christian women right there in Atlanta. Check this out: I have also dated some Christian AA women that were not cool at all. They were not marriage material and really should not have been dating. But yet, I still love black women.
I take each one of you as a separate experience. If I don't, I risk the danger of missing a great woman. You are not Shequita and she is not you. I will not assume that you will Clorox my clothes like Shequita until you do so. Do not assume that I will throw hot grits on you until you see the grits in my hand and then flying at you. That's fair. If I were to generalize, I would say that many black women have difficulty separating one relationship experience from the next. You only end up carrying a huge burden. It doesn't really affect me at all, I just keep it moving.
As you've apparently noticed, in Atlanta, we really don't have to put up with it. And the "it" is anything at all. Guess who does not have a problem with black men in Atlanta? Roll call: White women, Hispanic women, Asian Women, Mixed-raced women.
Let's put the brakes on the generalizations. I hate when I generalize (see above)
What numbers? What experiences? There's a danger in taking your own personal experiences and trying to make them reality. Just because you don't have a Christian AA man in your life with all of the qualities that you desire does not mean that they do not exist in Atlanta. These brothers are in Atlanta. Here's my own anecdotal evidence as I go about life in Atlanta. I see black men and black women together....every.....single.....day. Every single day. Couples that are young, old, and right smack in the middle. I know happy and healthy unmarried and married AA couples right there in Atlanta. Plenty.
You're looking for a black man at (1) The Chinese New Year's celebration, (2) A Hockey Game, and (3) The Rodeo.... if you're trying to say that you haven't met many black men at these places, I believe you.
What's your next event to meet black men, a Klan rally? "Girl, I cannot believe that NO good brothers were at the Klan rally!! Anyway, it's cool. The Grand Wizard was giving me the eye....maybe he has an Asian friend too."
Well, I can say that I've been to a Thrasher's game.....but I went to watch hockey...with white people...and I wasn't confused when I walked up in there.
You know what's slave talk? Bashing black men, that's slave talk. Real talk. Hating me is hating yourself. When you generalize me in a negative way, you hate your brothers, fathers, uncles, grandfathers and so on.
Look, the first step to finding the AA man that you desire is to change your perspective on us. How could you possibly attract a good AA guy when your lens is clouded by such negativity? Good dudes sense things of this nature. We avoid the angry and confused girls as much as possible. *Light bulb* But, you know who loves angry/hard/you can't tell me nothing chicks.....you got it, thugs and guys who talk about their "skills".
But, it's good that you grew up with your father in the house. That is an real issue in the AA community...but so is gold-digging, cussing me out, stabbing me, and cloroxing my clothes.
You've offended not only me and many brothers, but all of the bald-headed sisters on City-data as well.
This is the second realest stuff that I ever wrote.....
Man, this has got to be one of the best posts here, hands down. If I were in the same room as you, I'd give the same hug Kobe gave to Phil Jackson after the Finals!!
You hit on the nail. You my friend said it, and said it well !! Big ups!!
(Negative people here, take note. This is was what I was saying. Don't listen to the poison that spreads hate and division on these threads. You clearly know who you are)
You had me with the Klan rally piece. My wife and I were Rolling On the Floor Laughing our butts off!! Thanks again for an insightful, intelligent and humor-filled post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by keepthefaith
Hey,
I was out of college before I realized that it's "skank" and not "scank." LOL. Sisters, need to learn how to manipulate some spelling..LOL. I didn't have to do you like that.... Moving on....
I agree with you 100% on this point. "When you've had far too many negative experiences something is wrong." Uh huh. You've hit the nail right on the head sister.
Wherever you go, there you are.....look... if you seem to be attracting the same types of black men over and over again, maybe you need to stop and ask yourself a simple question...why? I don't say that to be mean, but seriously, think about it. Could it possibly be you? This is not just to you, but to all the sisters who "amen" you out in the worls and want to co-sign your post.
Is it fair for me to say that I know plenty of awesome black women and they don't attract nary a thug unless they want that for themselves? How do they do it? Is that unfair? Ok. Can I tell you that I have dated some great women right there in Atlanta and it has not been a problem at all?
No? Ok. "The ratio is in favor of black men in Atlanta?" That doesn't seem to affect the other Christian AA women right there in Atlanta with husbands and boyfriends that are happy and doing well relationally. Do you have AA girlfriends? Are they all single? Still not fair? Let's flip it. I'm an awesome Christian AA guy and I don't attract hood rats. Rats see me and keep it moving. I do tend to attract women like me: Christian, white-collar, college-educated, no kids etc. How? It's not magic.
I have dated some really great Christian women right there in Atlanta. Check this out: I have also dated some Christian AA women that were not cool at all. They were not marriage material and really should not have been dating. But yet, I still love black women.
I take each one of you as a separate experience. If I don't, I risk the danger of missing a great woman. You are not Shequita and she is not you. I will not assume that you will Clorox my clothes like Shequita until you do so. Do not assume that I will throw hot grits on you until you see the grits in my hand and then flying at you. That's fair. If I were to generalize, I would say that many black women have difficulty separating one relationship experience from the next. You only end up carrying a huge burden. It doesn't really affect me at all, I just keep it moving.
As you've apparently noticed, in Atlanta, we really don't have to put up with it. And the "it" is anything at all. Guess who does not have a problem with black men in Atlanta? Roll call: White women, Hispanic women, Asian Women, Mixed-raced women.
Let's put the brakes on the generalizations. I hate when I generalize (see above)
What numbers? What experiences? There's a danger in taking your own personal experiences and trying to make them reality. Just because you don't have a Christian AA man in your life with all of the qualities that you desire does not mean that they do not exist in Atlanta. These brothers are in Atlanta. Here's my own anecdotal evidence as I go about life in Atlanta. I see black men and black women together....every.....single.....day. Every single day. Couples that are young, old, and right smack in the middle. I know happy and healthy unmarried and married AA couples right there in Atlanta. Plenty.
You're looking for a black man at (1) The Chinese New Year's celebration, (2) A Hockey Game, and (3) The Rodeo.... if you're trying to say that you haven't met many black men at these places, I believe you.
What's your next event to meet black men, a Klan rally? "Girl, I cannot believe that NO good brothers were at the Klan rally!! Anyway, it's cool. The Grand Wizard was giving me the eye....maybe he has an Asian friend too."
Well, I can say that I've been to a Thrasher's game.....but I went to watch hockey...with white people...and I wasn't confused when I walked up in there.
You know what's slave talk? Bashing black men, that's slave talk. Real talk. Hating me is hating yourself. When you generalize me in a negative way, you hate your brothers, fathers, uncles, grandfathers and so on.
Look, the first step to finding the AA man that you desire is to change your perspective on us. How could you possibly attract a good AA guy when your lens is clouded by such negativity? Good dudes sense things of this nature. We avoid the angry and confused girls as much as possible. *Light bulb* But, you know who loves angry/hard/you can't tell me nothing chicks.....you got it, thugs and guys who talk about their "skills".
But, it's good that you grew up with your father in the house. That is an real issue in the AA community...but so is gold-digging, cussing me out, stabbing me, and cloroxing my clothes.
You've offended not only me and many brothers, but all of the bald-headed sisters on City-data as well.
This is the second realest stuff that I ever wrote.....
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Just messin with you.
