Black dating question

[Ron.]

The first 10 posts are totaly ignorant. I did not read anything else. MOST black men date black women.

Most whites date whites. Most blacks date blacks.

How can it be that most highly paid black men in Atlanta are dating white woman. Does that even make sense. If that were the case I can bet you it would be all over CNN.

[Ron.]

I have to stop reading. I hope the MODs retire this thread. Gee-whiz. So much ignorance in this world.

[sincere1782]

lol, I usually don't jump into discussions i just enjoy reading them. However i just wanted to share my dating experience. I've been here for 8 months since leaving Tallahassee, Florida and so far i've ran into either married men or men whom are still living with the mother of their children, yet would like to still entertain a relationship outside. I am a true believer of karma so that is definately out. And i'm trying my best not to engage in anymore premarital sex, due to the fact of many things i've been reading, so that eliminates 80% anyway...lol but its ok.
I've learned to just enjoy the dating process and not search so hard for mr. Right, but just enjoy the company of a nice man. I think sometimes we meet a man and begin to make future plans in our minds about the future of the relationship before even getting to know the person. I love my brothers to death, I love everything about them and even though the thought of going outside and dating someone of another race is tempting, and i am not going to neccessarily close the door on that option, i'm still holding on to the fact that there are some good black men out there. In fact two of them are some of my dearest friends, so I know they are out there.
I also know however that the competition here is fierce. In Florida it wasn't as competitive or maybe i was on another level in my life and didn't really notice it. Still i enjoy the thrill of meeting new people, seeing new things and just living life to the fullest, so if someone does happen to come along that has those same interests..cool, if not i won't let it change me and maybe that just means that God still has more work to do in my life.

[karrobe]

Originally Posted by sincere1782

lol, I usually don't jump into discussions i just enjoy reading them. However i just wanted to share my dating experience. I've been here for 8 months since leaving Tallahassee, Florida and so far i've ran into either married men or men whom are still living with the mother of their children, yet would like to still entertain a relationship outside. I am a true believer of karma so that is definately out. And i'm trying my best not to engage in anymore premarital sex, due to the fact of many things i've been reading, so that eliminates 80% anyway...lol but its ok.
I've learned to just enjoy the dating process and not search so hard for mr. Right, but just enjoy the company of a nice man. I think sometimes we meet a man and begin to make future plans in our minds about the future of the relationship before even getting to know the person. I love my brothers to death, I love everything about them and even though the thought of going outside and dating someone of another race is tempting, and i am not going to neccessarily close the door on that option, i'm still holding on to the fact that there are some good black men out there. In fact two of them are some of my dearest friends, so I know they are out there.
I also know however that the competition here is fierce. In Florida it wasn't as competitive or maybe i was on another level in my life and didn't really notice it. Still i enjoy the thrill of meeting new people, seeing new things and just living life to the fullest, so if someone does happen to come along that has those same interests..cool, if not i won't let it change me and maybe that just means that God still has more work to do in my life.

[Java378]

Originally Posted by Ron.

I have to stop reading. I hope the MODs retire this thread. Gee-whiz. So much ignorance in this world.

I am sorry, I cannot quite grasp your point of view. I was merely making an inquiry 2 years ago.

Hi. I'm going to be a recent college grad. I am sending out for jobs and such.
I always hear about Black women saying there are no "Good Black men" left, but where are these people who are saying that?

I haven't had a date in quite a while and I was just wondering.

[green_mariner]

Originally Posted by keepthefaith

Hey,

I was out of college before I realized that it's "skank" and not "scank." LOL. Sisters, need to learn how to manipulate some spelling..LOL. I didn't have to do you like that.... Moving on....

I agree with you 100% on this point. "When you've had far too many negative experiences something is wrong." Uh huh. You've hit the nail right on the head sister.

Wherever you go, there you are.....look... if you seem to be attracting the same types of black men over and over again, maybe you need to stop and ask yourself a simple question...why? I don't say that to be mean, but seriously, think about it. Could it possibly be you? This is not just to you, but to all the sisters who "amen" you out in the worls and want to co-sign your post.

Is it fair for me to say that I know plenty of awesome black women and they don't attract nary a thug unless they want that for themselves? How do they do it? Is that unfair? Ok. Can I tell you that I have dated some great women right there in Atlanta and it has not been a problem at all?

No? Ok. "The ratio is in favor of black men in Atlanta?" That doesn't seem to affect the other Christian AA women right there in Atlanta with husbands and boyfriends that are happy and doing well relationally. Do you have AA girlfriends? Are they all single? Still not fair? Let's flip it. I'm an awesome Christian AA guy and I don't attract hood rats. Rats see me and keep it moving. I do tend to attract women like me: Christian, white-collar, college-educated, no kids etc. How? It's not magic.

I have dated some really great Christian women right there in Atlanta. Check this out: I have also dated some Christian AA women that were not cool at all. They were not marriage material and really should not have been dating. But yet, I still love black women.

I take each one of you as a separate experience. If I don't, I risk the danger of missing a great woman. You are not Shequita and she is not you. I will not assume that you will Clorox my clothes like Shequita until you do so. Do not assume that I will throw hot grits on you until you see the grits in my hand and then flying at you. That's fair. If I were to generalize, I would say that many black women have difficulty separating one relationship experience from the next. You only end up carrying a huge burden. It doesn't really affect me at all, I just keep it moving.

As you've apparently noticed, in Atlanta, we really don't have to put up with it. And the "it" is anything at all. Guess who does not have a problem with black men in Atlanta? Roll call: White women, Hispanic women, Asian Women, Mixed-raced women.

Let's put the brakes on the generalizations. I hate when I generalize (see above)

What numbers? What experiences? There's a danger in taking your own personal experiences and trying to make them reality. Just because you don't have a Christian AA man in your life with all of the qualities that you desire does not mean that they do not exist in Atlanta. These brothers are in Atlanta. Here's my own anecdotal evidence as I go about life in Atlanta. I see black men and black women together....every.....single.....day. Every single day. Couples that are young, old, and right smack in the middle. I know happy and healthy unmarried and married AA couples right there in Atlanta. Plenty.

You're looking for a black man at (1) The Chinese New Year's celebration, (2) A Hockey Game, and (3) The Rodeo.... if you're trying to say that you haven't met many black men at these places, I believe you.

What's your next event to meet black men, a Klan rally? "Girl, I cannot believe that NO good brothers were at the Klan rally!! Anyway, it's cool. The Grand Wizard was giving me the eye....maybe he has an Asian friend too."

Well, I can say that I've been to a Thrasher's game.....but I went to watch hockey...with white people...and I wasn't confused when I walked up in there.

You know what's slave talk? Bashing black men, that's slave talk. Real talk. Hating me is hating yourself. When you generalize me in a negative way, you hate your brothers, fathers, uncles, grandfathers and so on.

Look, the first step to finding the AA man that you desire is to change your perspective on us. How could you possibly attract a good AA guy when your lens is clouded by such negativity? Good dudes sense things of this nature. We avoid the angry and confused girls as much as possible. *Light bulb* But, you know who loves angry/hard/you can't tell me nothing chicks.....you got it, thugs and guys who talk about their "skills".

But, it's good that you grew up with your father in the house. That is an real issue in the AA community...but so is gold-digging, cussing me out, stabbing me, and cloroxing my clothes.

You've offended not only me and many brothers, but all of the bald-headed sisters on City-data as well.


This is the second realest stuff that I ever wrote.....

I am black and I would go to a hockey and a Chinese New Year festival. In fact, I have been to both and have seen a few blacks there. Not that many, but they were there.