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When I moved to Georgia, it was to a very rural part of northeast Georgia, partly on the understanding that it wouldn't be long-term [which it definitely turned out to be -- long story]. I worked blue collar jobs in Athens to keep my head above water, all while looking for tech jobs in far-off metro ATL. Back before the tech bubble burst, money in that industry was good and pretty much worth it for a long commute. I eventually did land a good webdev gig off of Windward Pkwy. 74 miles each way wasn't so bad if you started out before 5am. I was 24, resilient, and looking at the long-term goal of not having such a long commute.
That job lasted a little over a year. A small part of me was relieved over not having to spend 3 hours a day in my car. 6 months later, I managed to find work in south Forsyth County that I could apply my geography degree to. Entry-level GIS stuff that I'd have to drive 72 miles each way for. I figured I'd stick around long enough to get a year of experience, then check my options for similar work closer to home.
12 years later, I was still reporting to the same office, having worked my way up the job ladder here. I got them to allow me to work four 10-hour days, but that just meant nearly 14 hours a day, functionally, devoted to my job; no room for after-work activities. And it most definitely took its toll.
There were several days at a time that I never saw my house in daylight in late fall/early winter.
Made friends at work, but could never hang out with them. And rare was the occasion when one of them would venture on up to my place.
If I needed a doctor [and I would when my back started giving out], do I get one near my office, or closer to home?
I won't even tell you how upside-down I was on car payments after 10 years, from having to replace a car roughly every 40 months.
Life changes a couple of years ago made for an opportunity to move closer to town. Duluth, specifically. Now, my commute is 15 miles outbound.
I almost can't look back on how much time I spent doing that horrifically long commute, or why I persisted with it. I'm just glad I'm not doing it any more.
It is absolutely making me a monster. Here's my story:
When I got married, wife worked in Lawrenceville and I lived/worked in Alpharetta. My job allowed work from home 100% so we bought a house in Grayson. So I worked from home from 2006-2014, but in late 2014 my company stopped allowing telecommuting. Apparently they did a study of an org they stopped allowing to work from home and the results were a huge boost in productivity, so they stopped it company wide. Luckily I was offered a generous package as they also closed our office in Atlanta. On top of that my wife had already been transferred to an office downtown in 2011, but that was fine b/c i was out here working from home for our kid. So I was out of work for nearly 6 months before finding a great job (both pay and job duties), but it was in Roswell. So now I drive 1.5 hours one way to work 5 days a week and wife does the same 4 days a week to downtown. We would love to move but we bought in 2006 and we are still underwater on our home plus we are in a good school district.
Back to the original question: Yes, I am now a monster. Even my wife pointed it out last week. I am a pretty laid back dude, but dealing with the a-hole's from the river on into Alpharetta each day is causing me to doubt humanity. I've seen more middle fingers, people just pulling in on top of others, and drivers running up to the front of line and cutting over in the past 6 months than in my entire life time. There are two merge points each morning that I just know something is going to happen so I tense up and get ready. Last week it was a 50+ blonde lady in an Explorer that put me in the grass at a merge point b/c she would not going to give up that one spot in line. It has made me much more aggressive in the car, in the store, at work, and at home.
The real problem is North Fulton county for me. I dont know why everyone over there thinks they dont deserve to sit in line with the rest of us plebeians, but they do. I left over there in 2006 and now I remember why. I remember a hippy family with little kids sitting in the middle of the intersection all giving me the finger when I blew my horn b/c they were blocking the intersection.
I work in Alpharetta and bought a house near the lake in Cumming 2 years ago. I never needed a big house, just one in a quiet area, and I'm single, so I found one for 75k and only 800 sq feet. The commute to work averages 30 mins each way.
I am shopping for an older small condo in town, because some weekends I want to be in the city to attend events, and if I ever need or have to find work ITP, I'll already have a place close to work. Ideally I don't want to commute at all, and prefer to take public transportation, but my current job is a good one and requires that I drive.
I can keep both places because the mortgage payments are low enough- and depending on what kind of mood I'm in after work, I can head to the lake or in to the city for some fun.
Remember, a middle finger is the really just the same as all the other fingers! Thumbs are slightly different (especially green ones) but not much!
Yes, it is sometimes difficult maintaining composure while navigating fast then suddenly slow, tight, and wet or icy hotspots amidst seemingly endless intransigence, but there are ways to not let it turn you into a "monster"...
1. The world is not ending!
2. Everybody poops (eventually)!
3. Be present, relaxed, and attentive!
Also, make sure you know all possible routes, although crossing the river has fewer options. So, you are the nice guy. Be the nice guy! Control ends at the limits of your own vehicle! Everything else is a crapshoot... so let skillfulness and equanimity without expectation guide the way!
(BTW, my commute to the office is minimal but drive often on the job, so...)
,,,What do y'all think? What are your commute times, and is it making you a "monster"? How do you think commute time effects your emotional health? If you think it is and are against funding for alternative transportation (bikes, MARTA, express bus lanes, toll lanes), then why? If you have the ability, would you consider uprooting and moving closer to your job to cut down your commute?
Yes, I think my former commute did make me a monster. If you use an online mapping thing (any of them - take your pick), the estimate is 25 minutes. In real life, it took a minimum of an hour and a half each way. Before anyone gets going about the ability to select the time of day options, they didn't exist then.
It's one thing to drive a distance of a certain length with little stress. Having to drive that same length taking hellaciously longer because you are stacked in traffic can wear some people out; I'm one of those people. I've mentioned this before, but I was on the phone with a friend in Jackson, MS one night who was driving home from work and he said he had set his car on cruise control. My hand to God, I had to look on my steering column the next day to even see if my car had it because I have never had a chance to use it on any car I've had since I've been here.
If I am at work a minimum of 9 hours. Add a good 4 hours commute at worst but less go with the 3 for 1.5 hours each way, that's 12 hours aka half a day. Count in the time I spend on the cell phone and computer with my coworkers outside that and it is quite stressful. I have not had 8 hours sleep since the turn of the century. I even gained almost 20 pounds a couple of years ago because I never had time to cook and only ate take out. Add to my day the time it took to squeeze in work outs.
It was absolutely exhausting so I fixed it. I don't think a long commute necessarily makes you a monster, but it can wear down your patience quicker than a buzzsaw could do your fingernails.
Wow, some of you really do have horror stories. I count myself lucky to have the commute I do, but I planned for that in every way I could. Since I have the choice, I am never going to buy a house or get a job that doesn't have access to a MARTA station. These stories have basically confirmed that for me, I hate traffic, and I could NEVER deal with a commute over 45 minutes. Since I've started biking, I can't even sit in traffic for 10 minutes without getting stressed about it I'll take a small house and a small yard with a short commute over anything else if that's what it takes to give me time with my family every afternoon.
Wow, some of you really do have horror stories. I count myself lucky to have the commute I do, but I planned for that in every way I could. Since I have the choice, I am never going to buy a house or get a job that doesn't have access to a MARTA station. These stories have basically confirmed that for me, I hate traffic, and I could NEVER deal with a commute over 45 minutes. Since I've started biking, I can't even sit in traffic for 10 minutes without getting stressed about it I'll take a small house and a small yard with a short commute over anything else if that's what it takes to give me time with my family every afternoon.
Some of us have to learn the hard way lol. There are others who simply have no choice.
I started off great when I moved here because on the night before the interview, I got stuck in some jacked up traffic on I-75. After getting the job, I moved to almost the closest place near the office. Fast forward a few years, and I was ready to buy in the worst decision regarding a location for myself that I've made in a bit.
I cannot imagine how much worse it is for people with children, especially parents who are transplants.
The only thing you can do after making a bad decision is decide to live with it or fix it.
drivers running up to the front of line and cutting over in the past 6 months than in my entire life time
I used to get mad at this, too.
But I read an article somewhere from some civil engineer or traffic expert that said we can ease traffic a lot if we create a single merge point....so instead of everyone getting over when they can, or when it seems safe, there should be a point where every car allows one to merge. Think of it like a zipper.
He said that it would actually improve things if everyone waited until the last minute to merge instead of trying to do so early.
I don't know if he's right or not, but that's what I do now! I drive as far as I can in the lane I'm in and then merge at the very end. The way I see it, I'm helping things. That's what this guy said, but maybe it only works if everybody does it.
Interestingly, I don't see many middle fingers at all. Of course, my philosophy is to mind my own business and not make eye contact with anybody. So maybe people are flipping me the bird left and right and I don't even know it. Oh well, nothing is more frustrating to someone flipping you off than you not even seeing it happen.
I am shopping for an older small condo in town, because some weekends I want to be in the city to attend events, and if I ever need or have to find work ITP, I'll already have a place close to work
I've also thought about the idea of a pied-Ã -terre, but think about the reality: you'll always have to worry about packing a suitcase, because what are the chances that what you need/want to wear is at the property where you are? I can imagine all kinds of, "I need this shirt, want to use this pan, want XXX item....but that's at the other house."
If you have a dog, you also have to constantly manage where the dog is.
I think it's a cool idea, it just comes with quite a few logistics to manage. You also double your chances of pipes bursting, garbage disposals breaking, air conditioners crapping out, etc.
I imagine that if I ever did jump the gun and do this, it would only last a couple of years before I analyzed which property I was using more often and sold the other.
I've also thought about the idea of a pied-Ã -terre, but think about the reality: you'll always have to worry about packing a suitcase, because what are the chances that what you need/want to wear is at the property where you are? I can imagine all kinds of, "I need this shirt, want to use this pan, want XXX item....but that's at the other house."
If you have a dog, you also have to constantly manage where the dog is.
I think it's a cool idea, it just comes with quite a few logistics to manage. You also double your chances of pipes bursting, garbage disposals breaking, air conditioners crapping out, etc.
I imagine that if I ever did jump the gun and do this, it would only last a couple of years before I analyzed which property I was using more often and sold the other.
I can see it working for a single person - although, I would chose to invest the 2nd mortgage payment into an IRA or the likes. However, with a wife, children and pups (in my case), I certainly wouldn't want to be without them for the ease of commuting. For me, that would be way more awful than the commute.
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I'll take a small house and a small yard with a short commute over anything else if that's what it takes to give me time with my family every afternoon.
