Envious Woman at work!

[txstate]

Don't let anybody steal your joy I would say a word to them or even look at them if it wasn't work related I have the same issue at my job and i am a guy that works with all females, sistas at that and attitudes galore.

[mading6]

Originally Posted by kc_atl

I have lots of females that work in my office. They seem to be married, with children and discontent with their lives.

I am 28 years old, my man works with me, I have a two story house and two new cars. I have no children or no pets. I travel a lot as I am not from Georgia and I am of Latin decent.

I have noticed that the woman that I work with are all so very envious of my life. I am so tired of their smart remarks and rolled eyes that they give me everytime I mention that I have gone shopping or bought something new and expensive.

I am sorry but I do not have children to spend on, so I spend on myself with my boyfriend. Why do woman have to hate on other woman? I've also noticed that it's against my decendance as well. Just because I am hispanic, they hate! I speak both languages well and I respect the ideals of other people. I just can't seem to understand or even comprehend why woman here cannot accept Hispanic, hard-working and intelligent woman as myself to be their co-workers?! I am just so sick of people haters!

My philosophy is, if you are jealous of other people's things (meaning, their house, car, job, education, relationships, valuables, etc.) why not be like them? It's better to be a copycat, then a lazy-a$$ with no aspirations and envy for other people. God, if you hate your life so much, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Can I get an AMEN up in here?!

I have had that problem my whole life. You just cannot come across as bragging. I never really tell anyone all the great things I have or have done or are doing, etc. I just share that info. with my very close friends.

Yes people are very envious a lot. Just keep a lot of your business to yourself. I know it is hard because us women love to talk but you must.

[noah]

I don't assume someone has money to play with because they are buying expensive things because often times they just are stupid with their money and can't resist buying things they can't afford. I am not saying the OP can't afford things but to think everyone looks at her and is envious because she can afford things I would say is off base. When I see that I don't envy it, I am usually appalled one would spend so much on certain things.

Originally Posted by seven of nine

May I politely point out a few things.
Every paragraph in your post you repeat your monetary status.
Is this any indication of your conversation with others? Good listeners talk 10% and listen 90%!
It would seem to me that your income level is oblivious since you listed your assets. No need to remind others unless you are somewhat insecure. Good luck!

[atlantagreg30127]

I once worked in an office that had a lot more women in it than men. I can tell you, some of the stuff I saw/heard in there would make most political and religious wars seem TAME in comparison.

I actually did overhear that kind of stuff: Women asking another woman where they got something and how much it cost, then later hearing those same women bad mouthing woman number one for it - because they answered their question . I don't understand "female politics", but they were pretty ruthless sometimes.

As a male from the outside looking in, I will say this, and am ready for the bricks to be thrown - it DID at times seem like the women who had kids were pretty darn jealous of those who didn't who could still get out and have a social life. I mean, "Jane" just got back from the beach, while "Sue, Melony, and Lakisha" all have 3 kids each screaming at home and they spent their vacation time cleaning up vomit and mud. "Jane" would catch attitude hell from these other women when they all got back to work - and for what - going on vacation? Again - . So while the first post by the OP did sound a bit boastful in a way, I do believe her when she says (later) that she didn't offer the info about stuff she did and was asked - because I've seen/heard it first hand by working in this type of environment.

Men do this too. Single men talk about their fishing trips and going to the game, while the married guys at work who have kids have nothing to talk about except carting 3 kids off to various extracurricular activities and having a "to do" list from the wife the moment they get home from work. The difference is, in the office, most men don't talk about it with other men or show resentment about it. A few of them MIGHT male-gossip some if they meet up later in the gym or something, but few of them have time for the gym anymore who would do this since they have a spouse and kids waiting for them at home. Women DO seem to do this much much more in the workplace (sorry - admit it).

Just my personal opinion as an outside observer.

[PotterGeek]

I wonder why the OP said they had a "two" story house. Is that supposed to mean something? The one levels are more pricey (and more desirable) in my area...two stories are a dime a dozen. They're also cheaper to construct, so I don't think anyone would be "hating" on you because you own one....

[Tommi123]

Originally Posted by kc_atl

I have lots of females that work in my office. They seem to be married, with children and discontent with their lives.

I am 28 years old, my man works with me, I have a two story house and two new cars. I have no children or no pets. I travel a lot as I am not from Georgia and I am of Latin decent.

I have noticed that the woman that I work with are all so very envious of my life. I am so tired of their smart remarks and rolled eyes that they give me everytime I mention that I have gone shopping or bought something new and expensive.

I am sorry but I do not have children to spend on, so I spend on myself with my boyfriend. Why do woman have to hate on other woman? I've also noticed that it's against my decendance as well. Just because I am hispanic, they hate! I speak both languages well and I respect the ideals of other people. I just can't seem to understand or even comprehend why woman here cannot accept Hispanic, hard-working and intelligent woman as myself to be their co-workers?! I am just so sick of people haters!

My philosophy is, if you are jealous of other people's things (meaning, their house, car, job, education, relationships, valuables, etc.) why not be like them? It's better to be a copycat, then a lazy-a$$ with no aspirations and envy for other people. God, if you hate your life so much, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Can I get an AMEN up in here?!

Amen!

I have a question, did you ever tell anyone that you have a two story house, without someone first asking a question about your living situation?

Many people have a low self esteem.

If you are a beautiful woman, that alone can attract envious people. Remember, when someone starts bad mouthing you for NO REASON, it's 99% certain that those people are envious.

In that kind of situation, you haven't done anything wrong. Envious people can talk in a way that makes it look like they are right, and you're wrong, and that you should be ashamed of yourself (although you haven't even done anything wrong - LOL)

If you are very beautiful for example (this is just one example), it doesn't mean that you have to feel bad because you are beautiful and the envious person considers herself (or himself) not good enough. It's not your fault if someone feels they are not good enough.

Never feel bad when someone is envious of you. It means they have a reason to be envious. They feel so rotten that they feel they have to let the frustration out. You should be happy!

[Tommi123]

Originally Posted by kc_atl

Thanks MisterNY. I hope there will be better days to come. I know I came off as boastful, shallow and indulgent. For that, I am very apologetic for. This is not who I am. Everything that I have, it's due to earned hard work and education. I am poor, everything I have belongs to the bank or a credit card not me! If the day arrives that I will no longer be able to have these things, it will be OKAY. I have no problems with starting again. I've always been poor and had to struggle in my life and it's absolutely a wonderful thing because I've valued every moment of my life. From having parents, to family and close friends. I am no means attached to material things, they are just nice to have but don't describe who I am. My close connection to my family and friends and abilities to appreciate these relationships in life are what make me, thanks again for BRINGING ME BACK TO EARTH! And Mr.Ny, I will definitely humble myself from here on...boy what a learning curve!

Don't be apologetic. What did you actually do wrong?

You mentioned this in your previous post: "It just really hurts to see woman talk about you in front of your face every single working day, 8 hours a day. But what you guys do not see is that I am not the one pointing out the things I've bought. The woman are the ones asking me what I got, where I bought, how much I paid."

If that is true, you haven't done anything wrong. And you are correct, the women you work with are envious.

Envious people will try to put you down, make you feel ashamed of yourself. They are trying to break you. They're trying to make you feel like you have to apologize for nothing and that you should feel bad just because THEY consider THEMSELVES not good enough.

How they feel has nothing to do with you! Don't be apologetic or feel bad UNLESS you have actually hurt someone's feelings or done something wrong.

When someone is envious of you, it doesn't mean you have done something wrong (although very often envious people try to make the situation look like it). If their feelings are hurt it's because of their own insecurity and low self esteem, not because you would've done something to them.

Don't be apologetic unless you have done something wrong.