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Old 09-07-2009, 07:53 AM
 
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Hi- We have moved to Alpharetta in June from Florida. I have 2 boys, age 10 & 12. My 10 year old goes to Cogburn Elementary and loves it. But my 12 year old goes to Hopewell Middle and is having a horrible time. No one will give him the time of day. He said hello to one kid and he told him to shut up. He asked another kid where is the bathroom and he said find it yourself. He asked several different people if he can sit with them at lunch and they said NO. I was shocked as my son hever had any problems making friends at the Middle School in Florida. He is not a nerd, he is a very friendly well rounded kid. Is this just a Georgia thing? Why are the kids so rude???
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Old 09-07-2009, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Marietta, GA
7,887 posts, read 17,187,009 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by citydweller881 View Post
Is this just a Georgia thing? Why are the kids so rude???
Can't answer why your son has encountered this kind of rudeness, but it's not a "Georgia thing" as you ask. While my son took a little while to make new friends when we moved here 2 years ago, he and my two daughters have made new friends and found most of the kids very friendly. There were the occassional snobs or people out to save their atheist souls, but by and large most kids and their parents have been quite nice. We also found that many other kids and families are in similar circumstances, having recently relocated or moved locally.
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Old 09-07-2009, 11:21 AM
 
3 posts, read 6,448 times
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Thanks for your response. I meant no disrepect in my reference of "Georgia Thing". I was just looking for some insights. I guess no one else wants to touch my question with a 10 foot pole!!
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Old 09-07-2009, 10:54 PM
 
13,980 posts, read 25,942,367 times
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We also moved up from Florida when I had one starting high school, and the next going into 8th grade. The HS student had a much easier time, because everybody was new to the school at that point. Middle school is tough. It took my 8th grader a few weeks to feel comfortable, and even longer to make real friends, and we are in the same area as you.

But, we have found the kids here to be generally very friendly. Tell your son to give it a little time. If he takes the bus, he'll meet kids from the neighborhood at the bus stop. If he plays any sport, he'll have a ton of friends in no time. The teacher might be helpful if you ask her to help with introductions.
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Old 09-07-2009, 11:28 PM
 
4,040 posts, read 7,438,579 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by citydweller881 View Post
Hi- We have moved to Alpharetta in June from Florida. I have 2 boys, age 10 & 12. My 10 year old goes to Cogburn Elementary and loves it. But my 12 year old goes to Hopewell Middle and is having a horrible time. No one will give him the time of day. He said hello to one kid and he told him to shut up. He asked another kid where is the bathroom and he said find it yourself. He asked several different people if he can sit with them at lunch and they said NO. I was shocked as my son hever had any problems making friends at the Middle School in Florida. He is not a nerd, he is a very friendly well rounded kid. Is this just a Georgia thing? Why are the kids so rude???
You are describing here my ultimate nightmare when it comes to my kids, save their physical health. They are only 1 and 4 now, still very young, but I am already sensitive about their place in a society that I, for one, perceive to be increasingly rude, self-centered, cut-throat competitive, ungracious and just plain narcissistic. Such an ugly world will raise ugly kids, invariably. If you will watch documentaries like "Nursery University" you will see parents perfectly capable of producing the kind of ugly juveniles you just described.

On the Opening Day at my son's preschool, not one single mother encouraged their 3-4 yo to greet or acknowledge his/her classmate. (One of the mothers though was eager to show off her daughter's knowledge of numbers). I encouraged my son to go and say "Hello, My name is ______" to several kids and all he got was an autistic stare then a turned back. Granted, kids at these age are not yet malicious, they surely do reflect the self-centered, narcissistic bubble that parents unconsciously pass down on to them. These are the future middle-schoolers who will reply with a callous "shut up" when an unassuming kid says Hello to them.

As far as I am concerned, this is unforgivable, even in elementary school children, let alone older.

I have had forum members (other forums) take furious jabs at me in the past when I suggested that in an ideal world, and if I could afford it, I would look for an old-fashion, selective school, even all boy/all girl, where grace, character and politeness are expected from even the youngest of children, from day one. For expressing this wish, I have been called a snob and an elitist with a fury and malice I never thought possible in a culture that advertises itself as "civilized"; and here you are, confirming what I fear most.

I am so sorry to hear this and I really, really hope your boy finds a few best friends soon. If not, TAKE HIM OUT of that place, such episodes can be beyond devastating for children, especially at ages when they discover the power of cliques.

This is one of the reasons why I will absolutely refuse to relocate after kids start school.
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Old 09-08-2009, 06:26 AM
 
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Interesting that you mention the issues occuring in middle school. I was having a conversation with one of our neighbors this weekend regarding how his sons had settled in to the new school year, and he said his HS-age son was doing fine, but the son in middle school was having problems. He said something along the lines of "middle school is just a bad time for kids- they're out of elementary school, but they're not really teens yet, and they're just nasty, rude kids." His other son found the same thing in middle school, but once he got into HS, everyone had kind of "found their place" and everything smoothed out.

Maybe it's because it's only a 2-year experience, so you've got a weird pecking order- you're either a lowly 7th grader or you're at the top of the heap as an 8th grader. In HS you've got 4 years of transition between being a lowly freshman to becoming the king of the hill as a senior.
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Old 09-26-2009, 04:08 PM
 
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Middle school is like that. Kids are weird at that age, so much insecurity they act like they are the coolest, and will not speak with others unless they are in the clique. My sons got through it with no scars, as we kept them prepared for what they would experience.
Both did well in HS.
As an educator, I wish we would add 6th grade to ES and then have schools of 7 8 9 like we did up north. It helps somewhat.
Prepare your child to understand what is going on and they will do well.
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Old 09-26-2009, 04:18 PM
 
Location: Marietta, GA
7,887 posts, read 17,187,009 times
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Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
This is one of the reasons why I will absolutely refuse to relocate after kids start school.
I don't know....seems like you're making just a bit much out of it. Plenty of children move during childhood and they aren't scarred and damaged for life. If you can manage to get them through childhood in one place, that's great, but many have survived the "trauma" and turned out just fine.

I certainly don't recommend what my neice and nephew had as "army brats" where they moved every 2 or 3 years, but moving as a child doesn't cause the sky to fall. Kids meet new kids and make new friends. Many times a change of scenery and some new kids are a positive thing for many reasons.
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Old 09-26-2009, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Triangle, North Carolina
2,819 posts, read 10,400,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by citydweller881 View Post
Hi- We have moved to Alpharetta in June from Florida. I have 2 boys, age 10 & 12. My 10 year old goes to Cogburn Elementary and loves it. But my 12 year old goes to Hopewell Middle and is having a horrible time. No one will give him the time of day. He said hello to one kid and he told him to shut up. He asked another kid where is the bathroom and he said find it yourself. He asked several different people if he can sit with them at lunch and they said NO. I was shocked as my son hever had any problems making friends at the Middle School in Florida. He is not a nerd, he is a very friendly well rounded kid. Is this just a Georgia thing? Why are the kids so rude???
I think this is more of an age item than a "Georgia" item. Middle School age children seem to make High School kids seem tame, ask most teachers.
In regard to being a Georgia thing, in Alpharetta? Heck, most of the Alpharetta population are not even Georgia natives.

Also, I am moving this to the Atlanta thread as you may have more responses.
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Old 09-26-2009, 06:40 PM
 
41 posts, read 144,143 times
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I can assure you that it's not just Alpharetta or Georgia. I live in Portland, OR (relocated 1 year ago) and with the exception of a few people have not come across anyone "friendly". We do relocate quite a bit....so we're blessed to be homeschoolers. I'm so sorry your son is having problems meeting nice, polite kids. It's such ashame what our society had come to. We volunteer, go to church, etc.....and it's still extremely difficult to make friends. (not like it was quite a few years ago when we lived in Tennessee and Texas. people were so friendly and welcoming.)
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