Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Explain to me how a straight male, who by the way, hasn't mentioned spending any significant amount of time around gay men, can speak authoritatively on whether or not gay people are more racist than straight?
I find that incredibly arrogant and offensive.
Frankly, sam321 can formulate as many "opinions" as he wants, it does not validate them as factual.
Furthermore, is your gay friend a minority or is he white? If he is white, do you really think he's going to experience racism the way a person of color would?
Your making my point for me. I don't doubt that the original poster has noticed these things or that he would like to try to figure them out. What I am pointing out is that discounting someones opinion by declaring them "not one of the team" is just as discriminatory as what he is accusing others of.
By the way, saying I'm 'offensive' because you do not agree with me doesn't move the debate forward any.
To the OP - you may want to move out to San Francisco. You'll be welcomed with open-arms there by the Gay community. When I lived out there, I saw A LOT of White/Asian Gay male couples out there.
I'm just sayin' - if it doesn't look as if you'll be accepted here and will be miserable, you may want to head to where you'll be happier.
Why do people think the OP is talking about couples? He's specifically talking about platonic/friendship. Some of you clearly lack simple reading comprehension skills.
Disclaimer: I was hesitant to bring this up because it's a very uncomfortable subject, but I really needed to get it off my chest. More importantly, I think talking about and acknowledging the ugly realities of racism within the gay community is the only way to a solution.
I'm a 25 year old gay Asian male, and I have noted innumerable instances of racism and discriminatory attitudes frequently directed at non-white gay men by gay white men.
To clarify, I'm not talking about sexual partners or hookups. I'm referring to the method by which many gay men select, or exclude friends or platonic relationships. Sadly, I've noted that many gay white men in Austin will exclude non-white from their social circles and the reason for such exclusion is because the individual is not white.
Perhaps this goes more with the superficiality of gays in general in that gay men do not like to associate with people they deem unattractive, and because minorities are almost always viewed as less desirable in the gay community, they are shunned. (This is an entirely different ugly subject that I could get into, but I won't).
When I hang out with straight people, my ethnicity rarely acts as a barrier in interactions. When one friend introduces me to another in a conversation, I'm not dismissed because of my ethnicity. It seems that overall, "straight society" (if one could even call it that) is a lot more color-blind than "gay society."
Hanging out with gays, though, my ethnic background has become a huge liability. First, at gay bars, bartenders frequently ignore minorities that have been waiting and go straight to the white guy that cut in line.
I once saw this happen to a black guy, who calmly asked why he was ignored, while several white guys were served drinks before him, even though he had been standing there longer. I was shocked when he was grabbed from behind and forcefully removed from the premises.
Now, when I go out to the clubs I have a white friend accompany me to the bar just so we can get our drinks without waiting endlessly. Secondly, when I talk to a friend and he introduces me to a group of friends, there are usually always a few that roll their eyes and give me this fake, dismissive "hi."
However, if a white friend were being introduced, these same people would receive that friend a lot more warmly. Typically, I would expect this sort of behavior if the person were actually hot, but more often than not, the offenders are fairly average (and not to sound conceited, but I'd be way out of their league).
However, I never really voiced these concerns because I thought maybe it was just me over-thinking things and perceiving something pernicious that wasn't actually so.
Whatever confusion may have existed was cleared up a few weeks ago. While at a local gay bar here in Austin waiting for a drink, I overheard this voice making comments to his friend about how there were too many Asians, and how Asians needed to go. I looked around--I was the only Asian person in sight. I ignored it.
Then when I met up with a friend, the same guy who was making the comments walks up to my friend, mumbles something about Asians in his ear while glaring at me, then walks away while saying loudly "you know it's the truth." The only thing going through my head was "This can't be happening".
But then it really hit me: this is completely acceptable behavior for gays. The one thing I commend about the guy making the anti-Asian comments was that he at least owned it. He probably doesn't deny being racist.
I'm all for freedom of association, but I'd rather people own up to their behavior and admit it than find some pretext excuse. It irritates me when people sharing those same racist views rationalize their behaviors and remove themselves from the "racist" label. I have to admit, ever since then, my desire to go out really became nonexistent.
Just to note: these racist behaviors are not just limited to "bar culture". I've received the same dismissive attitude from white guys in gay sports leagues, interest groups, and even at large community gatherings, like the annual AIDs gala. It's part of the reason, I suppose, that it's rare to see a single non-white gay guy a part of these organizations.
I've spoken with many other gay Asian, black, dark Latino, and Indian men in Austin and the experiences have all been the same. In Austin, we just don't feel like we are regarded as equal members of the gay community.
Sadly, the culprits perpetuating this exclusion are mostly gay white men.
Why did the OP expect anything different? Does he expect a female WASP to be less discriminatory than a male WASP? Why should she? These people were brought up in the same environment and fed the same drivel. Having the ability to check one minority status box isn't a game changer, it's a shield. A human shield! I can't tell you how many times I've had a gay WASP get slick with me, get checked, then shout "homophobe" and have every gay person in earshot come to their defense. Most of the time you don't even know that they're gay until they do that. They live just like all of the other white anglo-saxon protestant males until it suits them to be known as gay.
Why did the OP expect anything different? Does he expect a female WASP to be less discriminatory than a male WASP? Why should she? These people were brought up in the same environment and fed the same drivel. Having the ability to check one minority status box isn't a game changer, it's a shield. A human shield! I can't tell you how many times I've had a gay WASP get slick with me, get checked, then shout "homophobe" and have every gay person in earshot come to their defense. Most of the time you don't even know that they're gay until they do that. They live just like all of the other white anglo-saxon protestant males until it suits them to be known as gay.
I'm sorry. I don't understand your lingo. What does "get checked" mean? so you're saying that you are hetro, a stealth gay man makes a pass at you and then calls you a "homophobe" out loud when you don't respond to his sexual advances?
I don't think racism/bigotry is just a part of the gay community in Austin. It's in any lousy group of losers. Keyword: "losers". The "whispering" and snide attitudes are always done by losers. Get away from those lugubrious social cliques fast.
Move to Dallas or Houston (Houston has a large Asian community) you will see a huge difference with regard to the racism and discrimination. Or move out of Texas. Texas has a lot of social problems covered up by a multi-billion dollar public relations network.
Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousATXphenomena
Disclaimer: I was hesitant to bring this up because it's a very uncomfortable subject, but I really needed to get it off my chest. More importantly, I think talking about and acknowledging the ugly realities of racism within the gay community is the only way to a solution.
I'm a 25 year old gay Asian male, and I have noted innumerable instances of racism and discriminatory attitudes frequently directed at non-white gay men by gay white men.
To clarify, I'm not talking about sexual partners or hookups. I'm referring to the method by which many gay men select, or exclude friends or platonic relationships. Sadly, I've noted that many gay white men in Austin will exclude non-white from their social circles and the reason for such exclusion is because the individual is not white.
Perhaps this goes more with the superficiality of gays in general in that gay men do not like to associate with people they deem unattractive, and because minorities are almost always viewed as less desirable in the gay community, they are shunned. (This is an entirely different ugly subject that I could get into, but I won't).
When I hang out with straight people, my ethnicity rarely acts as a barrier in interactions. When one friend introduces me to another in a conversation, I'm not dismissed because of my ethnicity. It seems that overall, "straight society" (if one could even call it that) is a lot more color-blind than "gay society."
Hanging out with gays, though, my ethnic background has become a huge liability. First, at gay bars, bartenders frequently ignore minorities that have been waiting and go straight to the white guy that cut in line.
I once saw this happen to a black guy, who calmly asked why he was ignored, while several white guys were served drinks before him, even though he had been standing there longer. I was shocked when he was grabbed from behind and forcefully removed from the premises.
Now, when I go out to the clubs I have a white friend accompany me to the bar just so we can get our drinks without waiting endlessly. Secondly, when I talk to a friend and he introduces me to a group of friends, there are usually always a few that roll their eyes and give me this fake, dismissive "hi."
However, if a white friend were being introduced, these same people would receive that friend a lot more warmly. Typically, I would expect this sort of behavior if the person were actually hot, but more often than not, the offenders are fairly average (and not to sound conceited, but I'd be way out of their league).
However, I never really voiced these concerns because I thought maybe it was just me over-thinking things and perceiving something pernicious that wasn't actually so.
Whatever confusion may have existed was cleared up a few weeks ago. While at a local gay bar here in Austin waiting for a drink, I overheard this voice making comments to his friend about how there were too many Asians, and how Asians needed to go. I looked around--I was the only Asian person in sight. I ignored it.
Then when I met up with a friend, the same guy who was making the comments walks up to my friend, mumbles something about Asians in his ear while glaring at me, then walks away while saying loudly "you know it's the truth." The only thing going through my head was "This can't be happening".
But then it really hit me: this is completely acceptable behavior for gays. The one thing I commend about the guy making the anti-Asian comments was that he at least owned it. He probably doesn't deny being racist.
I'm all for freedom of association, but I'd rather people own up to their behavior and admit it than find some pretext excuse. It irritates me when people sharing those same racist views rationalize their behaviors and remove themselves from the "racist" label. I have to admit, ever since then, my desire to go out really became nonexistent.
Just to note: these racist behaviors are not just limited to "bar culture". I've received the same dismissive attitude from white guys in gay sports leagues, interest groups, and even at large community gatherings, like the annual AIDs gala. It's part of the reason, I suppose, that it's rare to see a single non-white gay guy a part of these organizations.
I've spoken with many other gay Asian, black, dark Latino, and Indian men in Austin and the experiences have all been the same. In Austin, we just don't feel like we are regarded as equal members of the gay community.
Sadly, the culprits perpetuating this exclusion are mostly gay white men.
I'm sorry. I don't understand your lingo. What does "get checked" mean? so you're saying that you are hetro, a stealth gay man makes a pass at you and then calls you a "homophobe" out loud when you don't respond to his sexual advances?
No. For example think of a situation like the OP talked about. I would tell him that I heard what he had said and dare the slick SOB to say it loudly. Checking = confronting.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
