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Old 06-10-2012, 01:23 PM
 
8,007 posts, read 10,428,452 times
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You kids have issues as it is. They will view you moving to NYC as choosing this boyfriend over them, which will only make it worse. Stay here and focus on your kids, not on some new guy who lives halfway across the country.
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Old 06-10-2012, 05:50 PM
 
24 posts, read 60,229 times
Reputation: 39
What are you thinking? Seriously? Stay here, tough it out with the kids and give them a better life in the process. You're a parent first, act like one. When they finally get out on their own, your life is yours again. Not before.
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Old 06-11-2012, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
1,825 posts, read 2,828,191 times
Reputation: 1627
Selling your house and moving across the country within a few months of a major emotional life event is bound to be resented because it will be seen as grasping for an escape route.

Doesn't mean the guy isn't worth it, but if he is, he'll be worth it a year from now.
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Old 06-11-2012, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
6 posts, read 8,034 times
Reputation: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by maryhelenmac View Post
My father died in February of this year. That changed my world completely. Due to the economic situation, I was accepting assistance. Around that time, I became involved with a man who lives in Manhattan. We have been having a long distance relationship but are now tired of it. I just sold my house and have the money to move. Also, since I will not need a car, I will sell it. I have told my kids my intentions, but they won't go. My youngest is doing a lot of drugs. Moving to Manhattan will not necessarily cure the problem, but it will delay it. My son also smokes marijuana, but there is not much I can do as he is 17 and can emancipate himself, which his he threatened. So, I am in a quandary.
I'm sorry to hear about your father. I'm also sorry to hear that you've sold your home already, and are only now asking for advice.

You are a parent, you should act like one. I do not believe people are capable of 'making' their childen 'do' things, however, I do believe you can control what is in your life.

As one other poster has mentioned: How are you children capable of having access to drugs, money, transportation, etc? Also, is the drug use affecting their life in a negative manner? If it's not, then don't worry about it. They will face the consequences, of the laws of the land, when and if that day comes. The most you can do, and should do, is notify them, and remind them.

There's nothing wrong with moving, especially if you feel that strongly towards another. I wouldn't pay any heed to those who mention anything of 'marriage.' It is not some 'weapon' -- the thought of that just makes my stomach turn -- it is a significant gesture, and very religiously based (without delving into history, and the reality behind marriage, and the barter system: I'll leave it at that). Just ask yourself, are you a parent, or a person right now?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquitaine View Post
Selling your house and moving across the country within a few months of a major emotional life event is bound to be resented because it will be seen as grasping for an escape route.

Doesn't mean the guy isn't worth it, but if he is, he'll be worth it a year from now.
Not everyone is willing to wait. Any and all relationships will always have one party who is more eager, more in love, or more tolerant, and one who is not.

maryhelenmac also said he has sold his house. He only mentioned he intends on selling his car next, after(?) the move.
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