Stuck looking for pre-k (Austin, San Marcos: fit in, chapel, how much)

[jwb123]

but I am concerned with the social implications of always being the youngest, smallest, etc.

I don't know. I see this as character building... and a parenting opportunity. Let's teach our kids HOW to deal with these sorts of issues and arm them with great self-esteem instead!

[love roses]

I was listening to a love and logic type thing saying that it is better to hold back a kid who is not ready for Kindergarden at that age, instead of letting them through and then they end up a little older and get held back. It's supposedly harder for them to get along in a class of younger kids when they are older. My sister failed the second grade back when they still failed kids, and she still says it was one of the worst things she had to deal with at that age. Although, I agree with Jenbar that we should teach kids How to deal with the issues and arm them for the future.

[jwb123]

They still "fail" them now, or rather "hold them back".

[mimimomx3]

Originally Posted by austinaggie

As I said there ARE kids that need to be held back and if so they should be. However, I am sure that some kids that are being held back do not need to be. My 4 year old is in pre-school and his teacher says he is definitely ready to go to Kindergarten but if she had told us he was not ready we would not send him. However, I know several people who have been told that their kids ARE ready and still want to hold them back. I have also been told point blank that people here do hold back boys so that when the are in High School they will be bigger and stronger their Senior year of sports. I think that is ridiculous

Remember, tackle football is a contact sport. A year's difference with a kid who is small for his age could enable him to play safer once he's in high school. Also goes for girls, especially for lacrosse.

[love roses]

I wouldn't doubt there are parents who do that. When we lived in Denver it was amazing what parents would go through to ensure their kids sports superstardom even starting at that young of an age. They would cart them across the state if a certain school had a superstar football team, and would do that throughout their entire school career. How sad for a kid to get moved around that much. Many of them were hoping their kid would get spotted by a scout and their chances were better if their kid were on the best High School team around.

[gigi927]

I am all for parents holding children back who are not ready maturity wise or simply are not ready developmentally to keep up with the demands of a certain grade. But it seems that the growing trend now is that some folks hold children back so that they are guaranteed to be at the top of the grade and to ensure that the child isn't just perceived as "average." I think having the input of any teachers involved is tremendously helpful and instructive in being a sanity check for a parent.

My almost-5 year old child was behind developmentally from day one and has a May birthday. I had therefore presumed he would need to be held back. However, his teachers have across the board said he is now right in the middle of the pack for his age not only from a pre-K academic readiness, but a social standpoint, and there is no reason to hold him back. I guess my point is, I am *not* all for parents holding children back so that they are simply more ensured to be at the top of their class the following year. It seems to me that it's instilling an artificial sense of success in the child. I'd much rather have my child work really hard to achieve parity with kids his own age (again, assuming all other factors are age and grade appropriate) than to have him be at the top of his class compared to children who are almost two years younger than him. I mean, it's not really an achievement for a normally developing 7 year old to ace kindergarten against a group of 5 year olds. And from a social standpoint, a 7 year old should be with 7 year olds who can model age appropriate social behavior.

I guess it's okay by me for my kid to be in the middle of the pack right now, and learn how to work hard, with an eye toward really discovering his specific talents and gifts as we move forward through school. It's a difficult choice for lots of parents, I think!

[love roses]

I'm just glad to hear the different opinions since all this is kind of new for me

[austinaggie]

Sorry, I still don't agree with holding a child back based strictly on sports. I am assuming sports will NOT be my three boys ticket to college. If I feel that my boys are too small to participate in a contact sport safely then I won't let them participate. Period. However, I will say that my boys are very tall for their age and that is the flip side to the size issue. I don't want my boys to tower over kids in their class and be treated as if thery were OLDER than they truly are (as often happens). I would never push them forward if they were not ready but as long their teachers think they are ready then I feel comfortable sending them on their way. Again, none of my boys are late Summer boys so I don't really think it is an issue. However, as I posted before I know that some people are wanting to hold back kids born in April which just sounds strange to me.

[Southern Phoenician]

I'm with Gigi in that I would rather my son be challenged and have to work hard for achievement (7 years old in Kindergarten doesn't make sense to me AT all unless the child is developmentally behind). When they become adults, they can't get big promotions or get the job of their dreams just by placement. Think about how old the kids will be when they go off to college. With this being the trend, it will be super scary to know that a large number of students in college will be able to buy alcohol legally by their sophomore year.

I think most parents try to do what's right for their child based on what they know at the time. As I said earlier, my son was born in October. If he were born in July or August, I have NO idea what I would have done. With him being SO much smaller than kids his age (he only weighs 33 pounds and JUST grew into size 4T jeans), we may have held him back for self esteem reasons. But, that goes against my belief in NOT raising kids to have a sense of entitlement by making life easy for them. Parenting is tough.

[love roses]

True My daughter is an April kid, but at the top of her height percentage. I won't hold her back as she seems to be on par with everyone else. But people do tend to expect her to act older than she is due to her height. I've been told it throws them off a little when they expect something from her and she's too young for whatever the activity.