Advice to newcomers (Houston, Dallas, San Antonio: spring break, home, construction)

[cBach]

Welcome to Austin, the greatest city in the world according to our Chamber of Commerce, the Austin Better Business Bureau, the Association of Realtors, and every small and large business in the area that want you to come here.

We are the self proclaimed music capital of the world, but we seem to be destroying all of the music halls that we used to be famous for. We have these two festivals you may have heard of, SxSW and ACL. SxSW was originally designed as a filler for Spring Break. You see, we were just a small town in Texas totally reliant upon the government and UT Austin "Hook 'EM Horns" home of the Longhorns. When all those students would leave for a week, if the government wasn't in session, there was no economy to speak of.

So we got a lot of musicians to play for free or dirt cheap and, like we always do, we spread these great rumors about how great the nascient festival was. We added film and later a high tech component. We never thought that people would pay $800 for a pass to SxSW, we were simply trying to fill a week up with activities to keep our businesses from going under, but we'll take it.

Well, in the fall, we needed another activity because there was two weeks when UT was out of town for two consecutive weeks due to playing up at the Cotton Bowl and an out of town game. Those two weekends were too much of a revenue loss for our city, so we decided to have another festival. Again, we picked a company that manages Lollapolooza and told them to head a giant festival. So, they started overhyping that. We never knew it would get this big, but we'll take it.

Then, one of our citizens with connections to the government and a love of F1 decided to pull some strings to get an F1 track built in our fair city. Because we have a complex about Houston, Dallas, and even (gosh) lowly San Antonio having professional sports teams, and we realize that Jerry Jones, Mark Cuban, and the other powers that be will never allow traditional sports here, and since there is a NASCAR track in Ft. Worth, we realized our only shot at anything professional would be F1. So, we mobilized to get that built. Now we have the only Grand Prix in the US and can stand proud in front of DFW, Houston, and (lowly) San Antonio.

You may have heard about our great park system. Yes, we do have a great park system. What you don't realize is the reason. Most of of those greenbelts are in flood plains. You see, we go from extreme droughts to flash floods in a matter of minutes here. In the not so distant past, some developers developed some housing in the Onion Creek Watershed and we quickly realized how dumb that was. So, developers are more cautious now.

But don't believe everything, we want to develop this city as fast as possible. Acres upon acres of scrubby cedar trees are being destroyed to bring you thousands upon thousands of McMansions. But we also have this paradoxical complex. We really hate Houston and we believe that building any roads will make us like Houston. Call us paranoid. So we will keep putting up developments, with no thought as to what will happen to traffic. Don't criticize us, or you will face the wrath of several old timers telling you to move to Houston.

Okay, now, also you should know the cardinal rules of Austin. You must worship BBQ & TexMex. Your favorite breakfast food must be breakfast tacos or kolaches. You must be a burger lover and be able to debate the merits of P Terrys, Hopdoddy, Mighty Fine, and In-N-Out. By the way, nothing from CA can rate higher from TX, we'll give you that clue. Also, our fajitas don't have tomatoes like in Cali and we don't put rice in burritos. Get that straight.

Oh, and we use y'all just like the rest of the south, we call interstates I-35 not "the 35" and especially not "route 35". We don't have routes in Texas. They are called state highways. Route means you are from the northeast, "the" means you are from Cali.

Okay, got that straight (tongue in cheek)

[G Grasshopper]

Post script: You know how "the I-35" grates on the nerves of Texans? If you go to California and call the state "Cali" and can assure you that you will get the same reaction. Same with calling San Francisco "Frisco."

[centralaustinite]

Dude, learn a little history about C3 Presents! Overall, your broad outline is roughly correct but you are positing a "we" where none exists, it is just the complex interplay of multiple, overlapping and often competing interests and people governed by market forces, not a top-down command economy.

[CT_ATX]

Break all the rules and have fun!

[cBach]

Originally Posted by centralaustinite

Dude, learn a little history about C3 Presents! Overall, your broad outline is roughly correct but you are positing a "we" where none exists, it is just the complex interplay of multiple, overlapping and often competing interests and people governed by market forces, not a top-down command economy.

I guess you didn't see the tongue in cheek portion?

If I hadn't put that, this thread would be 10 pages long.

[ScoPro]

Just make sure it's in the right cheek.

[menono]

I don't know anyone who says i-35. Everyone just says 35. It's not annoying if someone says i-35, it just means they are new here.

[ScoPro]

Well, when I first got here in 1959, everybody called it Interregional. Then after I-35 was completed down the old East Avenue stretch between 19th Street & 1st Street a couple years later, we started calling it I-35. A few decades later some still call it that, more often though it's just "35".

[10scoachrick]

How about the IH-35?

[TexasHorseLady]

Originally Posted by menono

I don't know anyone who says i-35. Everyone just says 35. It's not annoying if someone says i-35, it just means they are new here.

Hmmm, guess I'm a newcomer. I've been calling it I35 since I moved here in 1969. Well, before that, really, because my sister attended Southwestern University and we used to come to visit her and come to Austin, and that was in about 1954 or so, when it was still under construction. (Of course, it's been under construction ever since - in all that time I have never been on I35 when it wasn't being built.)

But no "the", ever, before the names of roads, major or otherwise. Fingernails on a blackboard (you do know what a blackboard is, right?).