Leaving family behind? (Houston, Austin, Cleveland: transplants, house, to buy)

[Adios Baltimore]

I'm hoping to get some realistic views and experiences from people who are now living far away from family. Esp if you have children.
I am so torn about moving away from Baltimore, not because I will miss the area, but I will be 24 hours away from my parents. There will be no driving home for the weekend.
We love Austin and I know it would be a good move for us as a family but.....
I'm an only child with the only grandchild so I will be breaking hearts by moving. If we do it, it's a one way ticket. I couldn't afford my house if I had to buy it right now. It's way too expensive to live here.

At least I wouldn't be coming into a town where everyone knows everyone. It seems like there are a ton of trnsplants so that would be a good thing!

[gigi927]

We left my parents back in AZ, who had retired there to be near our kids. It's been tough, but we've been away from family before and you do learn to cope. In some ways, it can be nice. My perspective is that you have to do what is best for your immediate family, and if that means leaving other family, it just has to happen. For us, my parents were the only reason to stay in Arizona, and that wasn't reason enough given all of the positives for our children in Austin.

You'll know in your gut what's right to do, but you can't live your life for your parents, either. I know it's a tough decision. Who knows, maybe you can get them to move here with you!

Best of luck to you!

[jwb123]

I have to totally agree with this...

My perspective is that you have to do what is best for your immediate family, and if that means leaving other family, it just has to happen. For us, my parents were the only reason to stay in Arizona, and that wasn't reason enough given all of the positives for our children in Austin.

We had to do what was right for our family - and like you said about Baltimore, Seattle was pricing us right out of the market. I think my mother in law is still even a bit mad at us, or namely - me, for "taking away her grandchildren"...

BUT - it's been an extremely positive move for us, and for our family. It was the right decision - though, leading up to it, and the day we left - we were wondering if we were doing hhe right thing.

My neighbor got her parents to follow her down, in fact, I have met lots of people here who have had older parents follow them down and settle down here.

Do you think that could potentially work out for you?

[atina33]

Did I write this post in my sleep? We're in the exact same boat.

[Trainwreck20]

Southwest now has direct flights from Austin to Baltimore...and four round trips booked on the internet is a free round trip flight (think they are still doing this).

[twange]

We're doing the same thing (from Cleveland). We don't have children but both of us have aging parents battling a bunch of health issues. We are feeling really guilty because they have always been able to count on us. However, they have been so supportive of this move. They know it's better for us right now. But it's still hard to shake the guilt...

[traceyr13]

Jen - do we have the same mil?

We left our entire families on both sides behind in Rhode Island, with the exception of my sister, who lives in Houston. Rhode Islanders rarely leave the state. You know how Austin is full of transplants? Okay, go 180 degrees opposite of that and you have RI culture. It is one of the reasons we left.

Anyway, I have 3 small children, and we left grandparents and great-grandparents on both sides, my husband's sister and brother and their young children, and my brother, as well as all extended aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Basically it's just my sister and I out here in TX with EVERYONE else in Rhode Island.

My mother is incredibly supportive of us being out here, and both my sister and I are working hard at getting her to move out here in the next couple years. My inlaws...not so much. Suffice to say we are the black sheep.

That being said, to the OP - is it hard? For ME, it's not hard at all. I like the distance from my husband's family. I miss my mom but we have a great relationship that transcends the distance. I will say I feel somewhat guilty at times at having my children away from their grandparents and cousins and family, but like others have said, I feel the benefits for our family living here in Austin outweigh that.

[judogl44]

I appreciate your dilemma. We left our family 1 1/2 yrs ago-2 grown children, 6 grands and moved 1500 miles away. Financially it seemed good. Emotionally-not. I miss them, crave them. We are now contemplating moving to No Carolina to be closer to our son and 12 hr driving distance to daughter and grands. It is something you have to weigh very carefully.

[daugs]

For the ones who care to respond, what are your families benfit to leaving family behind and moving to austin.

just curios

[traceyr13]

For us, it was several things. For one, it is the LCOL. Starter homes in the good school districts in RI are in the high 300ks. I can't believe I can afford a 2000sq ft, 4 bed, 2.5 bath home for over 100k less than what I paid in RI (for a 40 year old, 1700 sq feet, 3 bed, 1.5 bath) - it blows my mind! No, life is not all about money, but man, it helps!

For another, we were really not happy with the general culture in RI. "small state, small minds" - people are not very friendly, tend to stay there for generation after generation, and a "big trip" is going up to NH - a 2 hour drive away. We were looking for an environment for our kids where we felt the values of welcoming differences, being friendly and openminded, tolerance, etc not only existed, but were encouraged.

Also, there is just so much more for families here. Compared to RI there are an unbelievable amount of family friendly activities here.

I don't know - we just really like it here. It was what we were looking for. I am also looking to go back to graduate school to change careers next year, and have been accepted to UT, but the nature of the program (because of so much field work) makes it VERY difficult to work while attending school. We never could have afforded to live on 1 income in RI - here, we can. I feel that quality of life difference and the ability for me to pursue my dreams can only benefit my children.