Car Damage Responsibility ? (insurance, vehicles, credit, driver)

[10Eleven]

So! I hope it's OK for me to jump right in here - I signed up for your forum (which looks great!! and I look forward to perusing other sections of it when I get the time) to ask a question I've been puzzling over.


Here's the situation. Over the last few months I reconnected with Dee* - an old friend / former house mate from college (10+ years ago) who recently moved to my area following the (difficult) end of her relationship for which she had been living out-of-state for some time. We are both women, and our relationship is platonic (if that matters). We've gotten together for various activities a few times, and it seems we still have lots in common. It's been good to have her back in my life.

Last weekend she invited me to an event, approximately 2 hours' drive from here, and I accepted. I was planning to drive, but my car was having problems so it seemed natural that we travel in her car. When she came to pick me up she asked if I'd drive us there and back in her car, because she was feeling nervous about the unknown route/ driving at night/ etc. and also wanted to have a few drinks (I almost never drink).

Without a thought, I agreed. I'm a great driver, used to drive professionally, all sorts of vehicles - and have never had a problem.

Well, on the way back from the event we were driving through a very rural area and came across a QuikStop. Dee asked me to stop so she could go in and get snacks. I pulled up to the QuikStop and it had just closed, so I was about to drive away. I noticed a group of young men approaching our car (this is really out in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night btw - no other people around; no cellphone service for us).

The way the young men were acting made me nervous, and I couldn't drive straight off the driveway without hitting one of them so I backed up a little to be able to go around them (we didn't want to open the doors to see what they wanted). Suddenly BAM - backed into something. Literally the first time in my life I've ever crashed a car into anything. I jumped out and looked to see what it was, and it was a wooden barrier too low to see in the rearview mirror, that had obviously been hit many times before and was obviously put there to protect the air pump for tires, and the building behind it. There was also a good-sized dent in the back of her car.

Dee started to have a panic attack, the young men were gathering around the car with interest - I reassured Dee and jumped back in the car and took off. A couple of the guys actually tried to chase us on foot! Serious adrenaline rush.

I got us out of there, drove through many more miles of no cell service and nothingness (only a darkened house every now & again) till we got back to my place. Dee was having a bad episode of being freaked-out; told me her parents had bought the car for her and it was on their insurance and they were going to kill her, etc. (not sure they would actually kill her, but I guess they'd be upset - they are sort of Type-A people). So I told her reassuringly that I'd take care of it, and eventually, she was able to calm down.

Well never having hit anything before, I was naive I guess. Having looked at the dent I figured it would be no big deal. Dee called last night to tell me the estimate though, and it's going to be over three thousand dollars to fix the dent - even though everything still closes properly and works properly. Wow! I figured it would be a few hundred at the most.... I actually don't have that much money lying around at the moment, I don't even have that much available on a credit card right now. I'm basically poor, living on a fixed income (disability) because of a brain injury a few years back. I did get a small court settlement but used it to pay off my house (the house I can barely afford to maintain, pay taxes on, etc.).


So I just got to wondering: what do other people do in a situation like this? Assuming the owner of the car does not have, or does not want to use their insurance? (If it had been my car, I only carry liability anyway, so I would have just duct taped it together or something - I'm not in a position to care about if my car is pretty or not.)

I did say I would pay it so, I guess I will pay it somehow. Can't really think of how, but with my house paid off, I could access some of the equity maybe. She remembers my parents as being generous and wonders why I don't just ask them for the money -- theoretically I could do so and perhaps they would lend it to me, but I'm not comfortable with this idea for many reasons.

Basically I'm just wondering what other people would do in this situation. I guess this is something I should have figured out years and years ago, but didn't occur to me to think about it.


If anyone got through reading all that, I'd appreciate your thoughts.

Thanks and have a lovely day.

[Me007gold]

Her insurance is primary in this situation. The fact that you were driving is irrelevant as long as you had permission to drive(and you did) It would be very nice of you to pay the deductible. People have insurance for this very reason. Those are really your only two choices, pay it out of your pocket, or have her submit it through her insurance and you pay her deductible for her.

[ji603]

007gold is right. 3k out of pocket to fix would be a hardship for most people. That's the point of carrying collision coverage. If the friendship is worth it to you, offer to cover her deductible. That's all I would really expect from a friend if he/she dinged up my car, and I'd appreciate the offer. Accidents happen.