Auto mechanics true life stories on themselves

[Gimme3steps]

Any more stories? The auto forum needs a little humor

[RobRiguez]

I think it was 92-93. Friend had an 84 Transam with T-tops. With no experience and no mechanical knowledge, he decided he was going to learn how to work on the car himself. Tried to replace the spark plugs one day and his mother called me because he was STUCK under the car (only way to get to the rear plugs). Apparently, he rigged some jack stands out of a couple cinderblocks and wood, was in a gravel driveway and did not chock the rear wheels. Car moved a bit as he was maneuvering, the wood slipped a little dropping the car 2-3 inches, his arm was up into the engine bay and he couldnt free himself to get out from underneath. I rush over with a proper floor jack and stands and get him out.

He asks if he can borrow the jack and stands to replace the rotors and pads the next day, I showed him where to place everything. Quicky gave him a tutorial on how to do the job (he did have an Haynes Manual) and went back to work. The next day I get a panicked phone call to come check the car out because he messed it up bad. When I get there, hes all upset and just points to the car. I didnt notice anything until i got close.

Apparently he did not chock the rear wheels again, put the stands in the incorrect places. While tugging on a bolt the car moved a bit, one jack slipped and went through the floor board, the other side was still in the air. He got angry and opened the door to get to the 6pack on the seat and because the jack was in the wrong place, the weight of the car bent the hell out of everything and the door would not close any more.

$5000 later he just had me work on the car from that point on.

[Gimme3steps]

Anyone have any new stories to add?

[Deez Nuttz]

I'll share a few I can think of.....

At age 17 I bought a 1976 Olds Cutlass, on blind faith. I didn't test drive it, I took the guys word on it. Well it ran, but the guy told me I could make it run better by turning the distributor. With the car off and no timing light I turned it all the way CW if I recall...next time i went to start it, it ran like a SOB, real rough, backfiring thru the carb...later I learned you need to time it with a light.

Then later the pass side rotor got eaten up b/c the brake pads worn down to the rivets. So being the poor cheap kid I was I paid the junkyard $15 for an old used rotor off of an old car, put on the cheapest pads Autozone carried, and called it a day. No I didn't even have the rusty old rotor turned. 2 weeks later I was back to square one....again. That's when i learned to have your rotors turned and if possible don't buy a used rotor....when a cheap replacement costed me $38....and the only reason I bought a used rotor to start with is because everyone was telling me I'd need to shell out $75 for one.

My first vehicle after I got my license was a 1977 Ford Courier that I paid $180 for. The exhaust pipe broke off after the cat and before the muffler. Again I was 17 and poor....so I attempted to "reconnect" the 2 pieces of pipe with an old Campbells chicken noodle soup can and some sheet metal screws. First time I fired it up you could smell the soup cookin! Oh...and this "fix" didn't last long; the metal was too thin and it ended up coming undone at the screws...too much heat for the thin metal I suppose. After the soup can fix, I just cut off an old piece of thick walled pipe and redid it....it actually held this time albeit it was still ghettofied.

Oh yeah...and lemme tell ya about my 1st stereo system....a Dr. Crankenstein single sub in a bandpass box I got at a pawn shop....with a Jensen 17 W X 2 amp I bought at K-Mart back in '95 when they were still selling low buck car audio. And I had a Kraco digital cassette deck that powered it. And I thought I was hot ****.

Then later I bought a Jensen 50 W X 2 amp for $125 at Best Buy...but I didn't have the drill or the cable to run it to the batt so I thought running the power wire to the underdash fuse block would suffice...big mistake. I was lucky not to have burned my 1975 Nova to the ground......but the wire was clearly burned.

That's about all the "mistakes" I can recall.

At my work, we did have one guy drop a metal pan of gasoline on some batteries, which arced and ignited the fuel. He was draining fuel for samples and the gas tank was over the batteries.

We had another guy troubleshooting the same unit (NF-2 light all) for ignition....he pulls the plugs out, hooks up the ignition lead and attempts to start the engine to test for spark. He forgot to move the spark plug out of the way of the air/fuel mixture being pushed out of the spark plug hole, and found a new way to remove his eyebrows. We called him "sparky" after that.

Another guy tried removing a tag secured by a string by prying on the string with a screwdriver. The string broke and the screwdriver shank was introduced to his lower eyelid. He didn't lose any eyes.

[exhdo1]

I was working at a service station in the mid sixties, At the end of the night whoever was working had to put the service jeep away in one of the bays. I don't know why but I drove it in, thought I put it in neutral, and let my foot off the clutch. The jeep lurched forward and took out a tool box and work bench. The boss was not a happy camper the next day, but he didn't can me.

[ghostrider7811]

Ok here is my Golden Moment....
In 1983 I was a full time automotive student at a local VoTech Center. My mint 1970 Cougar Eliminator had a problem running hot. I was told to raise the carb. up off of the intake manifold and add a spacer. Several companies had these spacers designed for my problem. While installing the spacer I dropped one of the small carb. nuts down into the intake manifold. I was doing this work @ a local garage where I was working PT while going to school. Their expert mechanic told me not to worry the engine would spit out the small nut if indeed I did drop it into the intake.
Well.....you guessed it. The engine started, ran great for 2 seconds then bam, the engine started knocking. One huge and expensive lesson.

[JustPassinThru]

One of the cars I had when a teenager was a '52 Ford coupe that put out about 70 hp. I installed a tripower intake with neoprene fuel lines and an electric fuel pump. The car then ran slower than before and cost twice as much to operate.

The topper was when I was parked in a lover's lane and turned the ignition on to play the radio. When the car wouldn't start later because the battery was dead I popped the hood and there was the fuel pump (which I had forgot about) and some fuel lines that looked like a snake that had just swallowed a rat.

[JustPassinThru]

One more story. I had an ugly, gray and black primered '56 Chevy that took a turn for the worse when I went off the road in the desert and sideswiped a telephone pole, which destroyed the right front fender and left a dark brown band from front to back that smelled like creosote.

Later I removed the fender, attached the headlight to the radiator, and was good to go. As I headed north to LA I spotted a hitchiker, and stopped to pick him up. (I was very hard on my vehicles and often found myself thumbing a ride on the highway.)

Before long I heard a siren, and pulled over and stopped for the Highway Patrol car that had lit me up. We were ordered out of the vehicle and sat down on the edge of the road for at least 20 minutes. Finally, they returned our IDs and said that we could go. When I asked why we were stopped, I was told that two guys - whose descriptions fit us to a tee- just robbed a bank and drove off in a car that matched my car. Yeah, right.