Book Club Discussion on "Thousand Splendid Suns" - Khaled Hosseini (great, cover)

[gemkeeper]

Originally Posted by little_thirsty

I didn't think that the guard was being disrespectful. He actually seemed to have a little bit of compasion for Mariam, I thought. What a strong woman she was!

I thought Laila was wise beyond her years. Considering the way she was raised she seemed to adjust to Rasheed's very different way of living. I thought it was interesting how she liked the burqa (spelling? sorry) as so no one could recognize it was her under it. I was amazed that she and Tarq. came back to Afgan.

I agree with your view of the soldier addressing Mariam as "Mother", little_thirsty. He struck me, too, as a young man who felt some empathy for her. Otherwise, I don't think he would have asked her if she was frightened or if she was hungry. He seemed to be feeling compassion as he might for his own mother.

I really liked the way Hosseini developed Laila's character. She had a lot to deal with growing up with her emotionally handicapped mother, but she had a wonderful network of friends, teachers and especially, her adoring father. One would think that she had a near perfect childhood under the conditions of Afghanistan at the time.

Suddenly, with the death of her parents and no place to go but the streets, she had to make a decision that would allow her to go on living. An alliance with Rasheed was her only foreeeable answer. She, indeed, was wise beyond her years. She could have been portrayed as a helpless, pampered teen, but instead Hosseini blessed up with a mature, insightful character to fully round out his story.

I like your comment about Laila feeling pleased about wearing the burqa in public. I suppose a woman living in that environment would feel safer behind the fabric curtain of a burqa. One would feel less scrutinized if the eyes were unseen and one couldn't be identified from any other woman.

I was sad that Tariq and Laila decided to go back to Afghanistan, but I think that many people who love their birthplace, culture, and people would feel compelled to go also.

It was a fitting ending that they used Mariam's inheritance to help at the school in Kabul. What a wonderful tribute to Mariam's friendship and to Laila's steadfastness.

It brings back to mind all of the beatings that Laila suffered while taking the backways to go to the school to visit little Aziza. What a cruel man Rasheed was to let her endure that day after day. He could see for himself the marks on her body from the frequent beatings of that guantlet from home to Aziza. What a loving mother Laila was.

[little_thirsty]

I have to admit I was hating Rasheed when he wouldn't take Laila to see Aziza. I cannot imagine as a mom having to leave my baby at an orphanage so we could make it.

Both Laila and Mariam were so strong in their own right. I still am sad thinking about Mariam waiting on her daddy to take her to the movie and then waiting outside his house. I was crying like a baby when I got to the end of the book and she had missed what her father had written to her.

[gemkeeper]

I agree so much, little_thirsty. Mariam deserved to know that. When she last saw her father she felt that he cared very little and that all of those years he was just fulfilling a duty. She deserved to know that he cried for her as she did for him. There is nothing to make you feel that you have some worth than knowing that someone loves you with reservation.

I think that the peace Mariam felt at the end of her life came from her motherly love and sisterly love she had for Laila and her children. I believe that their returned love for Mariam was her personal salvation. She gladly died and took all of the responsibility for Rasheed's killing because she loved Laila and the children so much.

There is a Greek word for one type of love, agape, that means self-sacrificing love, a love that one would inspire one to give his/her life for another. To the early Christians this was the most important form of love. Although Mariam and Laila were Moslem, their faith, too, would value and demonstrate agape love as the highest form of love.

Mariam certainly was showing agape for Mariam, Laila, Zalmai and Tariq. She was a remarkable woman.

[RDSLOTS]

I enjoyed the symbolism behind the characters' names.

Gem mentioned Mariam's -- longing for child, which I thought was interesting on so many different levels, ie. the literal in that she longed for a child, as well as her 'longing' as a child, herself. Laila, the night beauty, and the child, Aziza, literally Laila's 'most precious,' her 'everything.' Tariq, the dark, versus Noor, his brother, as the 'light.'

[gemkeeper]

I thought that the symbolism was really fascinating, RDSLOTS. I know that I will forever read books now looking for some meaning behind the character's names.

The name Jalil seems so appropriate to me, also, meaning "majestic and mighty". This is certainly the impression that Mariam had of her father and the one conveyed to the reader, as well.

Very nice artistic touch. I will continue to read Hosseini's works.

[peggydavis]

I liked the theme of motherhood through the book. Mariam's mother was bitter and cruel, but did love Mariam in a way. However, her suicide was selfish. Laila's mother was weak and self-centered the way she only cared for her sons and not Laila. However, even though both Mariam and Laila had uncaring mothers, they were both excellent mothers. Laila married a man she must have known was abusive for the good of her child. Mariam's longing for a child, and her love for Laila as a daughter and Aziza as a grandchild fulfilled her life. Both women cared for Zalmai even though he was not a lovable child.

[gemkeeper]

Hi, Peggy. I, too, liked the way Hosseini continued the motherhood theme throughout the book. It continues to impress me that a man seems to depict women and their emotions so accurately. He must be a wise, intuitive man with a helpful wife.

Mariam's mother was quite bitter, but I think that her disappointment in love and her isolation from most of her former life was reflected in her treatment of Mariam. I have to forgive her of that.

It seemed obvious to me that her suicide rather than being selfish was a final desparate attempt to escape. Her daughter had just run away, so to speak, to be with her father. The one thing that Nana had of value left for her was her daughter, Mariam. And, now it seemed that even that small treasure was gone.

I believe that she was trying to end her pain and thought that Mariam would never return to her. A person living in deep depression cannot see the big picture. She cannot get outside of herself. The world becomes a very confining, small space with only that one's hurt occupying it.

I believe that Laila's mother was also so severely depressed over the death of both of her sons that the love she had for Laila was often suppressed under her grief. It is not uncommon for a person suffering such pronounced grief to ignore others that they love who are living.

I don't think she was a bad mother, persay, but a negligent mother. She often brushed Laila's hair, Laila talked of good times with her before her brothers died, and she would be relatively normal on her good days. It is sad that the good days were so infrequent.

It is difficult for a child to grow up with a mentally disturbed parent, but Laila obviously was well-adjusted, and certainly very well attended to by her dear father. It is a sad circumstance not only for the child, but for a father who knows how much the mother does love her remaining child, and for the mother who cannot overcome her tremendous grief.

I, like you, think that Mariam and Laila overcame great obstacles to become the strong, loving, self-sacrificing mothers that they were. They both knew love as children, albeit in different and slanted ways, so they were able to give it in the most appropriate ways with each other and the children.

I thought as the book ended and felt the hope of a good relationship taking shape between Tariq and Zalmai that Zalmai would become a more loveable little boy.

He had a brutal father, witnessed the brutality, and was made to emulate his father's beliefs. Perhaps when a child is removed from such an intolerable situation there is then hope that the child will shed that ugliness and become someone that is adored.

This is the new Zalmai that I created at the story's end. Sweet and giving, accepting Tariq as his father. There is not a better example of a good father than Tariq!

[lolagranola]

Gem I agree with you about Mariam's mother. I think she saw everything in black and white, so when Mariam ran away, to her it was for good. Even if she came back, she would be changed, and be intending to go out into the world.

I imagine her as a young woman, hopeful, maybe even thinking that having Jalil's attention could improve her station (whether or not she intended to become involved with him). Life was so unfair to her...she was trying to protect Mariam by not allowing her to imagine more out of life.

What an awful child Zalmai was! How ironic that such an unlikable child was the ideal, the adored, the hoped for! I don't know what I think about him becoming better. At the least, he now has a better example of how to treat a woman, how to love your family, and being part of a whole instead of king who's family exists to serve him.

I really liked Laila. She had to endure so much. But I still feel like she was the fairy-tale character. Her ending was too much to hope for!

Again about Rasheed knowing Aziza wasn't his...I wondered about this when he refused to take Laila to visit. What a vile creature.

Thanks to all of you who explained the meanings of the names!

[little_thirsty]

I have to second the thanks for the meaning of the names. Also lolagranola, I hadn't thought about Rasheed knowing Aziza wasn't his and connecting that to him not taking Laila to visit. Interesting thought!

Mariam's mom was such a sad woman to me. I couldn't help but hurt for her.

[gemkeeper]

Originally Posted by little_thirsty

I have to second the thanks for the meaning of the names. Also lolagranola, I hadn't thought about Rasheed knowing Aziza wasn't his and connecting that to him not taking Laila to visit. Interesting thought!

Mariam's mom was such a sad woman to me. I couldn't help but hurt for her.

Yes, knowing the meaning of the names really tells a story in itself, doesn't it? I really enjoyed that, too.

I think that Rasheed may have had some suspicions about Aziza - maybe even during the pregnancy, but wanted a son so badly to replace his dead son that he was denying himself any speculation.

Once a girl was born, well, that ended his infatuation with his dream wife and his hope for an heir-apparent! He knew Laila and Tariq as children, watched them together, and listened to the wagging tongues in the neighborhood.

However, once Laila became so available and needy, he jumped at the chance to have a fertile, lovely, young wife to replace the disappointing alliance with Mariam. He was willing to overlook the rumors and greedy Rasheed took a new wife.

I really believe that the irritating, nasty little Zalmai was a direct result of the treatment and coaching he received from his father.

We have all probably seen a young bully with meanness oozing out of every pore of his body. Then, you meet the scoundrel's father, and say to yourself the apple really doesn't fall from the tree. What a green, sour little apple Zalmai was. Just like the sour apple tree, Rasheed!

I feel certain in my heart, because I have to, that Tariq was such a loving, patient father figure to Zalmai that the child will definitely grow strong, loving and giving like his "father", Tariq.