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I'm a huge fan of listening to audiobooks while I'm in the car. And I prefer actual discs, not downloads. They're not as easy to find at the library so sometimes I'm forced to listen to some books that I would normally turn up my nose at in print. The latest was Alena by Rachel Pastan. The plot was kind of interesting - about the mysterious disappearance of the curator of an art museum on Cape Cod. But the writing - excruciating! The flowery prose and the ridiculous analogies, sometimes two or three to a sentence, were laughable, and this was dramatic fiction, not supposed to be humorous. How about these:
Describing the breasts of a nude woman taking a nighttime swim - "They were salty and silken like oysters, glowing like the moon." I almost lost control of the car I was laughing so hard.
Then, being overwhelmed by something - "My breath was like a ragged sheet flapping on a line." I snorted at that one.
By far the worst - "He had a gift for spotting a difficult situation and handling the difficulty, like a gynecologist making a joke while lubricating the speculum." NO!!! So cringeworthy! Where was the editor? Really unforgivable writing.
A good analogy makes the reader feel happy, not aghast. Like this one from Mr. Tall, by Tony Earley.
"His truck had been freshly vacuumed and smelled like pine trees growing in a field of cigarette butts." Perfect!
Do you have examples you can remember that either irritated or pleased you?
Wow, those are really terrible,and I'm sure that I have read many ridiculous ones myself,but I can only remember one that I love because it made me laugh so hard,and I was having such a good time reading the book.
It was in "House of Dark Shadows" bk#1 of the Dreamhouse Kings YA fantasy series by Robert Riparulo. This is what I said in my review~"I can't believe no one mentioned the hilarious descriptions of the brother's- Xander and David's fear and nervousness,as they set about exploring this huge house,and investigating noises,such as David being stuck to Xander like a "wet leaf"!
There are actually several tense moments in this story,with an atmosphere of creepiness,interspersed with laugh-out-loud funny incidents such as the one mentioned above,that do not detract from the suspense at all. I can't recall ever before reading a book where I laughed out loud at the same time that my hair was standing on end,LOL!"
Ah in fact the whole series hadn't been written at the time that I read the first two books,but they were so much fun/and creepy too,that I believe I am going to re-read those and finish the 5-book series.
Great example, Autumn! I agree it's hard to remember the exact phrase but you sure remember the delight of reading it and knowing it's a perfect analogy. And to be frightened and laughing at the same time - love it! I've never heard of The Dreamhouse Kings but it sounds like a great read. And I always enjoy laughing out loud.
Great example, Autumn! I agree it's hard to remember the exact phrase but you sure remember the delight of reading it and knowing it's a perfect analogy. And to be frightened and laughing at the same time - love it! I've never heard of The Dreamhouse Kings but it sounds like a great read. And I always enjoy laughing out loud.
It really was a total delight to read,and I also enjoyed the second book~ Watcher in the Woods: Dreamhouse Kings, Book #2 by Robert Liparulo even though is didn't have the humor of the first book. I hope that is back in some of the following books.
I know that I have read many eye-rolling ridiculous analogies like the examples you gave,but I just roll my eyes and go on, and don't remember them,so they are not committed to memory as in this case for me. Plus,since I mentioned it in my review,it is recorded for posterity,haha!
It really was a total delight to read,and I also enjoyed the second book~ Watcher in the Woods: Dreamhouse Kings, Book #2 by Robert Liparulo even though is didn't have the humor of the first book. I hope that is back in some of the following books.
I know that I have read many eye-rolling ridiculous analogies like the examples you gave,but I just roll my eyes and go on, and don't remember them,so they are not committed to memory as in this case for me. Plus,since I mentioned it in my review,it is recorded for posterity,haha!
These were so over the top I actually wrote them down so I wouldn't forget. Normally I would just read and forget but these called for some shaming!
I know I won't get this one word-for-word, but one favorite descriptive metaphor that has stuck with me was from Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. When describing a damp, cold kitchen in a 1500's castle, she said the faucets were dripping like the cooks' noses.
I know I won't get this one word-for-word, but one favorite descriptive metaphor that has stuck with me was from Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. When describing a damp, cold kitchen in a 1500's castle, she said the faucets were dripping like the cooks' noses.
I know I won't get this one word-for-word, but one favorite descriptive metaphor that has stuck with me was from Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. When describing a damp, cold kitchen in a 1500's castle, she said the faucets were dripping like the cooks' noses.
Perfect!
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Normally I would just read and forget but these called for some shaming!
