Dating in Boston? (to live in, military, bars)

[dreamofmonterey]

lol, uggs really?? I thougt that was a southern thing. OP good luck, (he prolly moved by now). Boston has a lot to offer, relationships vary......is not a reason to diss a whole city...

MFA and other museums, the Public Garden in spring (can meet people there), unlike in NYC where its too dangerous. Excellent shopping on Newbury St, Copley Sq. etc...

Now the south on the other hand.......

[LeavingMA]

Originally Posted by lovelife11

The guy Im dating is from MA and said one of the things that attracted him to me was that I was not like the girls in Boston. He said it was refreshing to meet a chick who smiles and easy to talk to. Then again Im not from Boston and he said he liked that too lol.

The girl I ended up dating and marrying was from the south. The dating part was quite a bit different than when I dated girls in MA, especially girls in and around Boston.

All the girls I met in and around Boston that had the better personalities were from out of the New England area.

[Pear Martini]

^^^what were the traits that are more common in Non-New England gals that make them more attractive?

[xS☺B☺s]

Originally Posted by Pear Martini

^^^what were the traits that are more common in Non-New England gals that make them more attractive?

Perhaps this?

Cooking With Sarah Palin - YouTube

[K-Luv]

Originally Posted by bostonguy1960

Not into the arts scene, but consider:

Mass College of Art

Suffolk University School of Art & Design

School of the Museum of Fine Arts (next to Museum of Fine Arts...not sure if related)

BU has a College of Fine Arts

Boston Architectural College
.

Isn't the Suffolk University School of Art and Design called the New England School of Art and Design? I thought NESAD was a part of Suffolk?

Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey

lol, uggs really?? I thougt that was a southern thing. OP good luck, (he prolly moved by now). Boston has a lot to offer, relationships vary......is not a reason to diss a whole city...

Yes, you can't walk five feet in Boston without passing a girl wearing UGGs. And a Northface jacket. Same old typical female undergraduate attire that you will find on any college campus across the U.S.

[charolastra00]

Originally Posted by K-Luv

Isn't the Suffolk University School of Art and Design called the New England School of Art and Design? I thought NESAD was a part of Suffolk?

Yes, you can't walk five feet in Boston without passing a girl wearing UGGs. And a Northface jacket. Same old typical female undergraduate attire that you will find on any college campus across the U.S.

Except it's quite cold in Boston. I have Uggs - they keep my feet warm and dry through our neverending winters. I am not about to go out in the snow and slush in my nice shoes - not only would I sprain an ankle, but I'd freeze and ruin my shoes. Northface (or other fleece) jackets are essential parts of one's wardrobe for layering.

Unlike the South (where I grew up and fled as soon as possible - if we're talking bad personalities, Boston has nothing on Atlanta) where the only weather extremes necessitated taking more clothes OFF.

[lrfox]

Originally Posted by theSUBlime

[buzzer] ANNNNNNNNN. Exact opposite. So not what LTR dating is all about. (Perhaps the one night stand or the ever popular bed buddy.) It's about the chase. That's what's wrong with this place! It's about having conversation. Even if people aren't romantically interested, you get a better sense of what you SHOULD be interested in to get the people you want to be interested in you interested. I find that people I know who end up together in successful relationship, initially had little/no interest in each other or were dating someone else. You can have good conversation and hook up with someone. Main reason why this is a single's city.

I have to give you points for using the word interested more in one sentence (4 times!) than I've ever seen before. Sort of like Vince Vaughn's dating rant in Wedding Crashers.


wedding crashers - YouTube!

Look, like I said in my post, I don't think good conversation is a bad thing. Obviously for long term dating it's a GOOD thing. It's also not hard to do at bars here. I just don't see why any guy or girl should have to sit there and listen to every idiot who approaches them stumble over their words. Let's be honest, most guys talking to girls at a bar or club aren't exactly seeking platonic friendship and 99% aren't exactly smooth (and this is true everywhere). I respect the hell out of the fact that it's perfectly acceptable to shut someone down here. I feel bad for any guy who doesn't have thick skin and can't deal with rejection.

This reminds me of the people who expect everyone on the street to smile, wave, and say hello to them. I can't get over how incredibly selfish it is to expect everyone to do something like that for you. Same thing with approaching woman in a bar. If she's out with her friends, she owes you nothing. Not even conversation. You're (these are general "you'res" and not directed at anyone in particular) not the first idiot to approach her tonight and you won't be the last. And if you're any good at talking to people in general, she WILL talk to you.

If I've tried to force smalltalk, I've been burned. If I can start conversation on something topical or happen to pick up on a common interest, I've been golden here in Boston. Even if they don't pan out to be my future wife (or even "bed buddy"), it's generally been good conversation. There's plenty of platonic conversation to be had in Boston.

Just like most of the other "problems" with Bostonians others seem to have, I think this one is best solved by looking in the mirror. If you can't talk to a woman in a bar, maybe it's not everyone in Boston's fault? Maybe you just have trouble talking to women? That just seems much more logical than every women in a metro area of 4+ Million being the problem.

What's more is that if the bar scene doesn't work for you, there are plenty of other avenues to dating. Work, online dating, and various clubs, and mutual friends are great ways to date.

Yes, and many girls look a mess in Boston. I just don't get it. Thunder thighs and pumpkin booty hanging all out of busted black tights, and a white tank top with last nights adventure still on it. Don't forget the Uggs.

This isn't so much Boston as it is college students and Boston has a LOT of college students. It's (unfortunately) the student uniform and has been for the better part of the last decade. Any campus in any city or town in the country, for better or worse, has the same issue. It's a trend that I'll be happy to see done away with.

[theSUBlime]

Originally Posted by lrfox

Look, like I said in my post, I don't think good conversation is a bad thing. Obviously for long term dating it's a GOOD thing. It's also not hard to do at bars here. I just don't see why any guy or girl should have to sit there and listen to every idiot who approaches them stumble over their words. Let's be honest, most guys talking to girls at a bar or club aren't exactly seeking platonic friendship and 99% aren't exactly smooth (and this is true everywhere). I respect the hell out of the fact that it's perfectly acceptable to shut someone down here. I feel bad for any guy who doesn't have thick skin and can't deal with rejection.

You can take one thing at a time. And not every single girl is looking to ****. Not EVERY bar is a dive bar, but from downscale to upscale, I always see the same approach here.
To be honest, it's guys like you that I tell my girlfriends to stay away from..
The collegiate attitude is pretty embarrassing for a city that considers itself so sophisticated. It is a college town though.

This reminds me of the people who expect everyone on the street to smile, wave, and say hello to them. I can't get over how incredibly selfish it is to expect everyone to do something like that for you. Same thing with approaching woman in a bar. If she's out with her friends, she owes you nothing. Not even conversation. You're (these are general "you'res" and not directed at anyone in particular) not the first idiot to approach her tonight and you won't be the last. And if you're any good at talking to people in general, she WILL talk to you.


If I've tried to force smalltalk, I've been burned. If I can start conversation on something topical or happen to pick up on a common interest, I've been golden here in Boston. Even if they don't pan out to be my future wife (or even "bed buddy"), it's generally been good conversation. There's plenty of platonic conversation to be had in Boston.

It's very hard for a native Bostonian to small talk. So you have to go with what works for you I guess.

Just like most of the other "problems" with Bostonians others seem to have, I think this one is best solved by looking in the mirror. If you can't talk to a woman in a bar, maybe it's not everyone in Boston's fault? Maybe you just have trouble talking to women? That just seems much more logical than every women in a metro area of 4+ Million being the problem.

I just had a conversation last night about all the things that are wrong with Boston men...

What's more is that if the bar scene doesn't work for you, there are plenty of other avenues to dating. Work, online dating, and various clubs, and mutual friends are great ways to date.

This isn't so much Boston as it is college students and Boston has a LOT of college students. It's (unfortunately) the student uniform and has been for the better part of the last decade. Any campus in any city or town in the country, for better or worse, has the same issue. It's a trend that I'll be happy to see done away with.

I wish I could agree with you, but I can't. It's terrible. It's very hard to find friends as a gay man here. I can't go shop with anyone!

[lovelife11]

Originally Posted by LeavingMA

The girl I ended up dating and marrying was from the south. The dating part was quite a bit different than when I dated girls in MA, especially girls in and around Boston.

All the girls I met in and around Boston that had the better personalities were from out of the New England area.

Im from a military family and grew up mostly in Germany and in the south. My grandparents were from the south as well, so i was raised to say "please" and "thank you", "yes sir" and "no ma'am"...and there is always the good old "god bless u". When i first met my boyfriend he said, it was nice to see someone with manners. Then he told me "promise me u will not let the women in boston corrupt u and turn u into a cold person who doesnt smile". Funny, until he said that i had never noticed that many of the women were not smiling here

[Cantabridgienne]

I've never understood why smiling at strangers is considered "having manners".

Then again, I'm not from Boston....