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Old 10-23-2012, 03:23 PM
 
Location: In the hot spot!
3,941 posts, read 6,726,483 times
Reputation: 4091

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Have you checked for employment opportunities in NC? I will agree with you that it is a beautiful state (used to live there!) and I moved there from Massachusetts! It's your life so if you feel the risk is worth taking take it. For some reason it doesn't sound like Boston would satisfy you now.
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Old 10-23-2012, 04:02 PM
 
Location: somewhere
181 posts, read 506,048 times
Reputation: 190
Ok, first of all...this is not entirely about the guy, it's about lifestyle choices. But just so you know, he's not some hick I picked up in a bar. He's a remote colleague, and I've known him well for 4 years now. This is just our first in person meeting. Major sparks flew, but I am going into this with eyes wide open. He may just end up being a local friend and contact, (helpful--I don't know a soul in Boston) or we may split up after a year, who knows. Hard to say at this point. I'm never a doormat, and I've certainly been around the block with guy stuff. But it's exciting. I didn't see this coming...So no, I didn't consider North Carolina before. It's not as much of a "destination" place as Boston or other cities, but I really like it.

I know from my posts I sound like an impulsive idiot. But I'm actually a nose-to-the-grindstone workaholic, who is finally taking a much deserved break. You don't know all the details, so don't judge. This has been a crazy time for me, and yes I have moved too fast. There were red flags all along with this Boston job and apartment, and if I hadn't rushed I wouldn't be in this situation now. I just don't see how waiting the year out in Boston makes sense, with the extremely high living costs (and rather disappointing pay) I wouldn't be able to save, and I'd face more moving costs later. It seems more sensible to take the hit now, get out of the apartment and go with the cheaper place to live. But maybe to be extra safe I will just let them keep the money so I am not on the hook for more.

I've spent a lot of my best years waiting around and being prudent. Life's too short. I'm racing around like a maniac right now, but once I figure this out, I'll have a better life.

Nice going with the snarky/belittling replies. I am clearly making the right choice.
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Old 10-23-2012, 04:33 PM
 
Location: a bar
2,724 posts, read 6,113,588 times
Reputation: 2981
Personally, I've always been a sucker for the southern drawl, and could see myself doing a 180 for a cute country girl. Even if she was a random bar room hick.

Best of luck!
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Old 10-23-2012, 04:48 PM
 
Location: somewhere
181 posts, read 506,048 times
Reputation: 190
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliff Clavin View Post
Personally, I've always been a sucker for the southern drawl, and could see myself doing a 180 for a cute country girl. Even if she was a random bar room hick.

Best of luck!
thanks. And yep, Southerners can be pretty darn hot
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Old 10-23-2012, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Johns Island
2,502 posts, read 4,436,759 times
Reputation: 3767
What made you drive I40 to NC, instead of the more direct I80 to I90? You probably added an extra 500 miles to your trip.

I would not be quick to throw away $6400, however that commute from Boston to RI was going to be a bear as well. It's a tough decision, and I don't know what i would do. I would probably start the Boston gig, and travel to NC a few times to see if it's real, but also to see if the NC lifestyle is more to your liking. NC is way different than Boston. The Boston people will try to tell you that no other place is as good as Mass, and you would be stupid for leaving, and will say that you obviously couldn't cut it. Put that crap aside, and live wherever makes you happy.


Quote:
Originally Posted by uncalifornian girl View Post
Does anyone have advice on getting out of an apartment least in Boston? I have two choices: either lose all my money (first, last, and 2 deposits) and be free and clear of it; or lose only one month and be on the hook until someone else rents it....however long that may be. I'm thinking the place will rent quickly, right? Adorable Beacon Hill studio, for $1600? Realty Co. is trying to tell me it's a bad time of year and may not rent quickly, but I suspect they just want to keep my money.

So....long story. I left California last week, packed up my car, and drove 1-40 across the country, alone. (Why yes, I am crazy:roll eyes It was actually a very fun and problem-free journey. But then...I fell in love with North Carolina, end of the road. And a certain guy there, but am trying not to base major life decisions on that.

Anyway...now I am weighing the cheaper, warmer weather, laid back Southern life vs. the more difficult life ahead in Boston. And I think I'm turning this car around I started heading north yesterday and am now somewhere in Rhode Island.

Pretty crazy, right? And yes, this means turning down a job in Boston, but let's be honest, it wasn't the greatest offer anyway, and it wasn't even really Boston, it was Avon. I would have been strapped for cash and commuting long hours, coming home to no parking, etc. Even though I am soon to be unemployed if I do this, I am not really that worried.

I loved Boston when I was there....but I guess it's not going to be home.
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Old 10-23-2012, 04:58 PM
 
Location: South Florida
5,021 posts, read 7,450,618 times
Reputation: 5466
I didn't mean to be snarky!
Had I known then what I know now... Go for it!
Always go with your gut.
Hoping nothing but the best for you!!
Keep us posted?
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Old 10-23-2012, 06:06 PM
 
Location: The State Line
2,632 posts, read 4,050,947 times
Reputation: 3069
I know quite a few people are giving you flak, but I'm not. Boston seems to cater to people who are not only driven and focused but know what they want. Just my opinion, but it doesn't sound like a fit for you. As much as I love the area, it's not for everyone, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that.
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Old 10-23-2012, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Up North
3,426 posts, read 8,908,318 times
Reputation: 3128
Wow...just wow.

After reading countless posts by you that always have an undertone or general theme of your fantasy of what Boston men are like and all of the sudden "falling in love" with a man you met in NC on your way here All of the complaining about men in California and how in Boston you California girl attitude will earn you brownies points with "hot professor types"


I just can't keep my mouth shut anymore, you sounds like disaster waiting to happen. Every post of yours I have read has either been about your Boston-Professor-Man fantasy or "Will people in Boston accept a warm, friendly, California woman?" -esque.

Unless you are 18, I just don't know what to think. I can't imagine you knew this man in NC long enough for him to be worth moving for.

How old are you?

NC isn't the best place to go looking for jobs but Charlotte is the 2nd largest financial capital in the US (surprise huh?). If you are in finance or accounting you may have luck there.
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Old 10-23-2012, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Up North
3,426 posts, read 8,908,318 times
Reputation: 3128
Rant:

I would also like to add that I'm tired of this subculture of some women who will just change their whole life for a man they barely know.

It's sickening. Didn't anyone teach you to put yourself first and be your own person?

You may have known him for 4 years but you still just met him in person. Who know, maybe you two will be happy together but this hits close to home for me.

This reminds me of my best friend growing up. We are still friends but rarely see each other. She always latches on to the first guy that hits on her. He doesn't have to take her on one date as long as he seems like he may eventually care. She is lets herself fall in love with guys who use her, even guys who might be spoken for already.

She ends up with low-lifes. Drunks and even a couple drug dealers but she works in health care and comes from a highly educated family in Cambridge.

Her current "love" is a cocaine dealer who lives in his mother's basement who moved from Boston to California after 6 months of them dating. That is when she realized she would be miserable until she could be with him. Clearly, he doesn't feel as strongly since he moved 2,000 miles away from you. But no man will turn down a booty call who will spend all of her savings to visit him for a week.
She rarely makes plans with me anymore. She just calls me for love advice and her almost daily freak outs and bouts indecision.

She is socially fulfilled by just texting this man and talking to him on the phone. She doesn't even hang out with any of her friends anymore.

She called today "So are you off on Halloween because I want to do something, but I'm not sure what"

"yeah, I am but I can't spend money because of XYZ"

Her: "I don't even care if I do anything I just don't want to tell my boyfriend I didn't do anything on Halloween"


I was thinking: Well, it's nice to know you are looking forward to catching up. I'm not looking forward to being your therapist for the evening.


End of rant
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Old 10-23-2012, 06:39 PM
 
Location: Upper East, NY
1,145 posts, read 3,000,452 times
Reputation: 563
sublet the place
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