Black women visiting Boston for the first time (Florida, Washington: vs, beach)

[xS☺B☺s]

Originally Posted by Pear Martini

Maybe people were just checking you out? Most people up here are much more casual in dress and I have yet to see a black woman wearing noticeable extensions up here (like I do in the South, for example).

Also, the Asian person may have been an FOB and you really could have been the first black person she has seen.

I'm Hispanic and when people in Boston look at me, I don't assume they are judging me or think I'm out of place. I generally assume its because I look good.

So get off your high horse.

I love when you brag about how hot you are. That's so fun and so Miami! I'm guessing you're shaking things up up there in stody ole Puritonia. Hope so anyways. BOS needs a little bit of that.

[xS☺B☺s]

Originally Posted by Pear Martini

maybe because the OP was downright insulting/rude. Again, most people in Boston proper aren't even locals so her whole argument is invalid. Does she think Boston just attracts racists from all over the world?

I thought I'd take the high road - give her the benefit of the doubt rather than just flaming. Beisdes, it's only "proper". ;-) Don't forget - you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, Doll.

[Mr. Joshua]

Originally Posted by xS☺Be

I just totally love you E. You are so the coolest.

Absolutely!

eevee's got Wessonality.

[Martha Anne]

Originally Posted by xS☺Be

I love when you brag about how hot you are. That's so fun and so Miami! I'm guessing you're shaking things up up there in stody ole Puritonia. Hope so anyways. BOS needs a little bit of that.

That's just it. Bostonians are not stodgy. This is a culture that is heavily influenced by English and Irish - Northern European, that is - mores, based on a cooler climate, the English language, not Spanish, and more understated manners. (I have Hispanic relatives - and they are wonderful, too -but, trust me, they are not the same as the Irish.) The powers that be who made Boston were almost all English in descent and so you have British architecture, not Mediterranean. The Irish eventually took over the town and they are certainly not like the Spanish! They don't want to be and don't need to be. They already have their own culture, just like others have theirs! Understatement is valued in this culture, and this fact needs to be recognized and, as far as I am concerned, appreciated for what it is.

The Spanish are, frankly, in Miami, more showy and louder (and loud and showy is not what Bostonians like or need) and what you call "stody" (stodgy) is just being not Latin or Southern European or South American or African American simply because the dominant culture is Northern European-influenced American. Although, that is rapidly changing and will not be true in a few decades from now.

Someone who is of Miami-Spanish background has to make adjustments and understand that they are not the only culture around and that maybe what is good for them is not what a Bostonian needs or wants.

I think that those who come from places where understatement is not a value could learn a thing or two from this kind of refined behavior. It is admirable.

All that said, I am not implying or suggesting that the Northern European-English-Irish influenced Boston culture is the only way to go. (Or that you should want it - it is what I want, that's all! <ss>) What I am saying is that it just has been the dominant culture in Boston for hundreds of years and you need to understand that.

I personally cherish this English-Irish influenced Boston culture and don't want to see it change - but that is just me. It will, and is changing, already. I say, too bad, but that's because of my background. I know that the times are a-changing and that soon the white Northern European type American will be a small minority, and this is the way for millenia - we have always had migration, and, thus, vast cultural changes in humankind. It is normal.

[Martha Anne]

Originally Posted by xS☺Be

I love when you brag about how hot you are. That's so fun and so Miami! I'm guessing you're shaking things up up there in stody ole Puritonia. Hope so anyways. BOS needs a little bit of that.

Bragging about how "hot" you are is so shameful. Embarrassing! Yikes! No matter WHAT your culture.

[Pear Martini]

Originally Posted by xS☺Be

I love when you brag about how hot you are. That's so fun and so Miami! I'm guessing you're shaking things up up there in stody ole Puritonia. Hope so anyways. BOS needs a little bit of that.

I was not bragging about how hot I am! Oh my goodness. I can never catch a break here

Originally Posted by xS☺Be

I thought I'd take the high road - give her the benefit of the doubt rather than just flaming. Beisdes, it's only "proper". ;-) Don't forget - you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, Doll.

Yup, this is true. I think I just had a long day at work in stodgy ol' Boston.

[Pear Martini]

Originally Posted by Martha Anne

That's just it. Bostonians are not stodgy. This is a culture that is heavily influenced by English and Irish - Northern European, that is - mores, based on a cooler climate, the English language, not Spanish, and more understated manners. (I have Hispanic relatives - and they are wonderful, too -but, trust me, they are not the same as the Irish.) The powers that be who made Boston were almost all English in descent and so you have British architecture, not Mediterranean. The Irish eventually took over the town and they are certainly not like the Spanish! They don't want to be and don't need to be. They already have their own culture, just like others have theirs! Understatement is valued in this culture, and this fact needs to be recognized and, as far as I am concerned, appreciated for what it is.

The Spanish are, frankly, in Miami, more showy and louder (and loud and showy is not what Bostonians like or need) and what you call "stody" (stodgy) is just being not Latin or Southern European or South American or African American simply because the dominant culture is Northern European-influenced American. Although, that is rapidly changing and will not be true in a few decades from now.

Someone who is of Miami-Spanish background has to make adjustments and understand that they are not the only culture around and that maybe what is good for them is not what a Bostonian needs or wants.

I think that those who come from places where understatement is not a value could learn a thing or two from this kind of refined behavior. It is admirable.

All that said, I am not implying or suggesting that the Northern European-English-Irish influenced Boston culture is the only way to go. (Or that you should want it - it is what I want, that's all! <ss>) What I am saying is that it just has been the dominant culture in Boston for hundreds of years and you need to understand that.

I personally cherish this English-Irish influenced Boston culture and don't want to see it change - but that is just me. It will, and is changing, already. I say, too bad, but that's because of my background. I know that the times are a-changing and that soon the white Northern European type American will be a small minority, and this is the way for millenia - we have always had migration, and, thus, vast cultural changes in humankind. It is normal.

I would just like to say Miami is not a proper representation of my family's culture or even any type of Latin culture. Maybe Cuban, but they are known as the Alabamans of Latin America.....I'm going to go hide now .

There is so much going on in Miami that makes things skewed such as a ton of tourism and being a landing pad for drug arrivals.

[miu]

Originally Posted by Martha Anne

Bragging about how "hot" you are is so shameful. Embarrassing! Yikes! No matter WHAT your culture.

Well... it's not that it's shameful, but I do think that women, especially young women should focus less on their attractiveness quotient and more on their inner qualities. I've had this discussion many times with my 19 year old niece.

Youth looks fade, and then the formerly hot looking woman is left with much insecurity over her worth to society. On the other hand, someone like me who never placed that much importance on my looks is a much happier 54 year old woman than most... with her devoted 31 year old boyfriend. And it's in part because he loves my personality and the way I use my BRAIN!!!

And yes, it is fun to play dress up, but it's foolish to only value having supermodel looks. And I feel pity for those women who are 5'6" and weigh only 100 lbs in some twisted effort to have the proportions of runway fashion models who are over 6' in height.

[xS☺B☺s]

I totally agree with everything you say Martha Anne. I'm like you - I lived in B for 15 years and totally get it. Boston is a great city and I love it. I don't love EVERYTHING about it. I do love the refined subtle elegance, but I'm with the Latin culture regarding sexuality. I love Boston's cerebralism, but I don't like their Puritanism. And don't blame the English, cuz London is no where near as social conservative as Boston. Nonetheless, B is it's own place, all good, and Welcome to the Boston Forum. The smart regulars on this forum are gonna love your contributions.

Now excuse me while I do the Conga with Pear!

Originally Posted by Martha Anne

That's just it. Bostonians are not stodgy. This is a culture that is heavily influenced by English and Irish - Northern European, that is - mores, based on a cooler climate, the English language, not Spanish, and more understated manners. (I have Hispanic relatives - and they are wonderful, too -but, trust me, they are not the same as the Irish.) The powers that be who made Boston were almost all English in descent and so you have British architecture, not Mediterranean. The Irish eventually took over the town and they are certainly not like the Spanish! They don't want to be and don't need to be. They already have their own culture, just like others have theirs! Understatement is valued in this culture, and this fact needs to be recognized and, as far as I am concerned, appreciated for what it is.

The Spanish are, frankly, in Miami, more showy and louder (and loud and showy is not what Bostonians like or need) and what you call "stody" (stodgy) is just being not Latin or Southern European or South American or African American simply because the dominant culture is Northern European-influenced American. Although, that is rapidly changing and will not be true in a few decades from now.

Someone who is of Miami-Spanish background has to make adjustments and understand that they are not the only culture around and that maybe what is good for them is not what a Bostonian needs or wants.

I think that those who come from places where understatement is not a value could learn a thing or two from this kind of refined behavior. It is admirable.

All that said, I am not implying or suggesting that the Northern European-English-Irish influenced Boston culture is the only way to go. (Or that you should want it - it is what I want, that's all! <ss>) What I am saying is that it just has been the dominant culture in Boston for hundreds of years and you need to understand that.

I personally cherish this English-Irish influenced Boston culture and don't want to see it change - but that is just me. It will, and is changing, already. I say, too bad, but that's because of my background. I know that the times are a-changing and that soon the white Northern European type American will be a small minority, and this is the way for millenia - we have always had migration, and, thus, vast cultural changes in humankind. It is normal.

[xS☺B☺s]

[quote=Pear Martini;28530604]I was not bragging about how hot I am! Oh my goodness. I can never catch a break here

Don't let the repressed nuns of Boston tame you Pear. They are the problem, not you. That's why they got kicked out England. Ever notice the similarities between the Puritans attire and the Burka?