Do you find Bostonians to be friendly-or cold people? (condos, job market)

[massnative71]

Originally Posted by lrfox

Eh, I know that that's the stereotype/cliche of Irish pubs in Ireland, but that's rarely been my experience over there. At least not any more so than here. If you go sit at bar at Sligo, Burren, The Druid, Banshee, JJ's, etc. at 6pm on Tuesday there's a good chance that someone will chat you up. Ireland is the same way (at least in the not touristy spots). But if you go to a crowded club in either Boston or Ireland on a Friday night, people will be a lot more standoffish.

On top of that, people on vacation are generally more social. So someone from Boston who doesn't want to be bugged at a bar or on the street in Boston may very well be a social butterfly in Ireland, or at their all inclusive hotel bar in the Dominican, etc.

Having lived elsewhere and traveled a decent amount, I hardly think Boston is an outlier in terms of "friendliness." I would argue that places like the Midwest or Southeast U.S. are more of a departure from international norms than Boston is. In fact, Americans, even New Englanders, are generally seen as very outgoing at best, and loud, obnoxious, and "chatty" at worst. I think the Northeastern U.S. is a pretty good balance. And I think it should go without saying that Boston (or anywhere else in the Northeast) is not going to be as "friendly" as most of the Midwest or South.

The same applies in New England. Go to the Cape and Islands (Pity on you if you can't strike up a conversation with random stranger at ___ bar Circuit Ave. Oak Bluffs). Touristy areas of ME, same thing.


The mindset in the city is very different, unless of course you are 22 and looking to score one clubbing at Faneuil Hall. I personally haven't seen a noticeable difference down south (GA, FL), people are mostly caught up in their own thing there as well.

[bjimmy24]

Originally Posted by lrfox

Eh, I know that that's the stereotype/cliche of Irish pubs in Ireland, but that's rarely been my experience over there. At least not any more so than here. If you go sit at bar at Sligo, Burren, The Druid, Banshee, JJ's, etc. at 6pm on Tuesday there's a good chance that someone will chat you up. Ireland is the same way (at least in the not touristy spots). But if you go to a crowded club in either Boston or Ireland on a Friday night, people will be a lot more standoffish.

On top of that, people on vacation are generally more social. So someone from Boston who doesn't want to be bugged at a bar or on the street in Boston may very well be a social butterfly in Ireland, or at their all inclusive hotel bar in the Dominican, etc.

Having lived elsewhere and traveled a decent amount, I hardly think Boston is an outlier in terms of "friendliness." I would argue that places like the Midwest or Southeast U.S. are more of a departure from international norms than Boston is. In fact, Americans, even New Englanders, are generally seen as very outgoing at best, and loud, obnoxious, and "chatty" at worst. I think the Northeastern U.S. is a pretty good balance. And I think it should go without saying that Boston (or anywhere else in the Northeast) is not going to be as "friendly" as most of the Midwest or South.

I'm not stereotyping anyone at all. That's my experience in Ireland, wherever I've been, even Dublin. Maybe that's because I'm one of those rude midwesterners that talks to people they don't know though, so it suits me well. I was in a pub in Dublin once and was on my phone for a couple minutes looking something up and a guy scolded me for NOT talking to people. We ended up chatting for a few hours. Not ok!!!

Yes, Boston is unfriendly by American standards but by international standards, we are all mostly seen as outgoing and helpful people. I agree with that.

Also to be fair, I think a lot of the coldness of Boston comes from the millennial generation. Too many in one place. That's a dynamic not to ignore.

[Boston Shudra]

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

Also to be fair, I think a lot of the coldness of Boston comes from the millennial generation. Too many in one place. That's a dynamic not to ignore.

If bars and clubs in Boston aren’t already dominated by gen z, they will be very soon.

[darkone]

Bostonians are friendly - as a means to end, only when necessary to obtain something from someone. This could be a relationship, job or service. Otherwise you may as well not exist. And this is no different from anywhere else in the world. Just animals fending for themselves in the kingdom. Now you may notice more superficial smiles and eye contact in other areas but that tends to be rooted in approval seeking, self-affirmation or local social etiquette. There probably are a decent number of Bostonians who would take pride in helping someone in need, if for no other reason than to feel good about themselves.

[RBThescot]

As a very broad generalization, New Englanders tend to be on the taciturn end of the spectrum and don't suffer fools gladly.

From the late 1950's, through the 60's and 70's, up to the early or mid 1980's, Boston was shabby and slow paced. It had sort of a small town feel where you could go anywhere and feel like you were welcome and pretty much knew everybody.

By the middle to late 1980's rents and college tuition really began to skyrocket like crazy. The condo phase put pressure on a lot of people. Jobs became more competitive, you needed a masters degree to get what you used to with a bachelors. There were lots of lingering racial animosities from the Louise Day Hicks/de-seg/bussing era. HIV/AIDS was a factor in some neighborhoods.

The libertaran republicans who began to predominate in state politics weren't as inclusive as mainstream liberal Democrats or the noblesse oblige mainstream Republicans, like Ed Brooke and Bill Weld, and the city became a noticeably harsher environment.

There was an exodus to the suburbs, Western Mass, southern VT, rural Maine and other states, among my peers at least. Boston is a flashier, more affluent, "world class" city now - I don't really recognize it anymore - but there was, and still is a price to be paid for that. The price is, IMHO, people act like if they don't know you, then you must be nobody or they would already know you.

[BOORGONG]

Originally Posted by iAMtheVVALRUS

If bars and clubs in Boston aren’t already dominated by gen z, they will be very soon.

What comes after gen z? Do we start using Chinese characters to depict them or is this indicative of the end of humanity as we know it?

[GeePee]

Originally Posted by RBThescot

Boston is a flashier, more affluent, "world class" city now - I don't really recognize it anymore - but there was, and still is a price to be paid for that. The price is, IMHO, people act like if they don't know you, then you must be nobody or they would already know you.

I agree with this. I find the warmest ones around here are from here. The transplants seem to create their own worlds and stay in those bubbles.

[Boston Shudra]

Originally Posted by BOORGONG

Do we start using Chinese characters to depict them or is this indicative of the end of humanity as we know it?

Yes, probably.

[AtkinsonDan]

Originally Posted by BOORGONG

What comes after gen z? Do we start using Chinese characters to depict them or is this indicative of the end of humanity as we know it?

Originally Posted by iAMtheVVALRUS

Yes, probably.

We're skipping the Greek alphabet and going straight to Chinese?

[BOORGONG]

Originally Posted by darkone

Bostonians are friendly - as a means to end, only when necessary to obtain something from someone. This could be a relationship, job or service. Otherwise you may as well not exist. And this is no different from anywhere else in the world. Just animals fending for themselves in the kingdom. Now you may notice more superficial smiles and eye contact in other areas but that tends to be rooted in approval seeking, self-affirmation or local social etiquette. There probably are a decent number of Bostonians who would take pride in helping someone in need, if for no other reason than to feel good about themselves.

So Bostonians; they are all, so to speak: Whitey Bulgers in disguise, or in the making. They would do away with their respective mothers in an instant, if it meant they got some advancement out of it.