Boston Newbie, Meeting friends, having a life... :) (Cambridge, Newton: tenants, theater)

[kingeorge]

There are always book clubs, libraries needing an extra pair of hands, church or group getting together for a cause. Political campaigns...There are actually many, many ways, but you can not expect it to be served to you. Action, my friend, and more upbeat positive attitude, will make magic happen.

Good luck!

[495neighbor]

Originally Posted by Lewisham

Live in Cambridge, work downtown.


Thanks for the Alumni idea. Sounds like a good one. Unfortunately the community for my college seems to be done. Last event was 2011 and all facebook groups, etc haven't had any activity since then :/

Cambridge is for mid-life people like myself.

Somerville is for people in their 20s. Get thee to the next town over and start mingling there.

Quite frankly, I'm much older than you and have no problem striking up conversations on the street with friendly people in Cambridge, Somerville, Arlington, BackBay, Seaport District, Quincy, Salem. Have no problem making connections from meetup either. Obviously you are picking activities just to meet people and not picking what you might enjoy.

Business cards serve multi-purpose as calling cards. Nothing wrong with exchanging them. Much more durable than a number on a napkin.

[495neighbor]

Originally Posted by kingeorge

There are always book clubs, libraries needing an extra pair of hands, church or group getting together for a cause. Political campaigns...There are actually many, many ways, but you can not expect it to be served to you. Action, my friend, and more upbeat positive attitude, will make magic happen.

Good luck!

Want a date. Go volunteer at an animal shelter where the young female volunteers will outnumber the men. And there are more women adopting pets than men in your age group. Most women love an animal lover. You will also get a woman of good character who is thoughtful and kind to those who cannot defend themselves.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by 495neighbor

Cambridge is for mid-life people like myself.

Somerville is for people in their 20s. Get thee to the next town over and start mingling there.

Quite frankly, I'm much older than you and have no problem striking up conversations on the street with friendly people in Cambridge, Somerville, Arlington, BackBay, Seaport District, Quincy, Salem. Have no problem making connections from meetup either. Obviously you are picking activities just to meet people and not picking what you might enjoy.

Business cards serve multi-purpose as calling cards. Nothing wrong with exchanging them. Much more durable than a number on a napkin.

When I go out on the town in Somerville I meet mid 30s to 40s people as often as not, or more often. Met my current GF at a bar in the Union Sq area.

[Utopian Slums]

Originally Posted by timberline742

The kickball leagues around here all seem to go out and drink after. You could also do the hash house running thing.

OLD is great too. I've met many many of my good friends from OLD or friends of friends I've dated. Yeah, not instantaneously, it takes months/years, but that's cool. It is fun .

What's that?

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Utopian Slums

What's that?

They do it in any city of any size, this is the boston group

Boston Hash House Harriers ~ A Drinking Club With A Running Problem

It's a running pub crawl, really.

[sobo16]

How are your neighbors? Do you live in a building or area conducive to meeting the people who live near you? Do people sit out on their stoops? Are you in a building where there would be cookouts or other social events, either organized or impromptu? If not, maybe you could move to a place where you'd be more likely to meet your neighbors.

I was also going to suggest the alumni group thing. Maybe you could be the one to jump start yours and get it going again. It might take some energy, but maybe there are people who would be interested in a revitalized alumni group. You could contact your school to see if they can provide you with resources to get a chapter going.

Are you a fan of a particular team that isn't a New England team? Sometimes a bar will act as a certain college team's home away from home and show all of their games. I've been in places that are Penn State bars and Florida State bars, etc. Maybe your school or team has a place like that. Some NFL team fans have strong meetup groups. For example, there is a fairly large group that gathers every week to watch Ravens games; the bar even agrees to play the games each week with sound.

[n1ey]

Originally Posted by Lewisham

Hi there,

Things I've tried:
- Sports Leagues. I play soccer and softball and other stuff. I've met some cool people, but most show up to the games then leave as soon as it's over or their girlfriends are waiting or something. I figured it would be an easy way to meet as folks might be up for a chat or beer after games but has't been my experience. So I have lots of soccer buddies but we don't chat outside of playing a game.

I am active in a bike club. The bike club does not function like any other bike club. I think that most of the Massachusetts people are ignorant of how odd it remains. There is a collective within the club that is very social with each other. Otherwise, people jump into their BMW and Subaru vehicles after the ride and disappear. You go other places and the people head for pizza after the ride. Many of the people look forward to coming to the SAME ride on a weekly basis. They like talking with their friends. They actually do things outside of the bike club activity, together.

Here in Massachusetts the bike club can offer 20 rides per a week. People actually choose a different ride each week because they do not like to be set to a pattern. They are actually so fickle. You can't be sure if people would show from week to week. Plus, they get into their car without saying a word upon the end of the ride.

I know that the club President has remarked about this.

I tried as a leader for the club. I would actually get people to head to the Tavern after a weeknight ride. It worked for awhile, but it fell apart upon the success of the Tavern. The Tavern became so popular that they wanted us to wait 30 minutes. None of these type A people could wait 30 minutes.

On the Sunday bike ride we would stop at the Coffee shop. The idea of stopping and talking was revolting to a good number of people. I would receive a number of complaints from individuals. The ones enjoying the coffee never complained. The go lucky and friendly crowd are not a bunch of complainers!

- Meetup.com. I know this is everyone's "go-to". I like the idea of Meetup, pick things you like and meet people who like the same. But in reality, there's hundreds of groups in Boston but they all seem to be dead. Except for the same guys who cross-post the same event to 20+ groups and nobody appears to sign up.
I have gone to some thing that interest me but the *real* meetups are so few and far between that there's just no familiarity. The next time a meetup is scheduled 2 months later, it's different people making the same awkward small-talk, then you never see them again.

In my small friend circle the women have been trying meetup. It seems to allow them "control." They can just do an activity and disappear. This really tells me something about the whole thing.

Bill

[Lewisham]

Well thanks everyone for the comments and suggestions.

I'm going to keep up the sports leagues, most run 6 or 8 weeks at a time so I'll just keep plugging away at those. If nothing else I just enjoy playing.

Not meaning to knock anyone's suggestions, but I can google this topic all day and see a couple of the same responses "join a book club". I'm not exactly a big reader and I like to do more social things than sit and discuss books... it's funny how everyone says this like it's a gold mine of new friends but I don't think it's something those suggesting it have ever actually done themselves.

The thing is, you don't make friends meeting someone once, you make friends when there is some familiarity, so I sign up to go lots of events and stuff but you only meet the people once and then never again. Maybe I've attended the wrong networking nights but really it's all about business... how many cards can you hand out in one night and how much can you sell yourself.. feels a bit weird to call the guys number on his card later and be like "You threw this business card at me as you were passing by the throw the rest of your cards at other people, so we don't actually know each other but wanna grab a beer?"

I keep checking meetup but it seems like a dead loss. I don't really understand why the exact same event is cross-posted to 20+groups and almost no RSVPs in any of them. Like someone mentioned about the cycling club, people can't just seem to enjoy people, there has to be an activity or agenda involved and not a minute before or after is spent actually talking to anyone. I figured there's be plenty of groups for young professionals or things for grabbing drinks or just simple stuff where it's easy to socialize but while the groups are there, there is no activity whatsoever.

[timberline742]

Honestly, and perhaps I'm not in the most typical groups of people, but most social ties seem to form from dating, and when younger, from working cruddy jobs. We go out drinking together after work and keep hanging out and then do other stuff. That was in my 20s. As I've gotten older, the new friends I've made and the ones I've seen most of my friends make are people we dated and it didn't work out in the romantic way, or they were friends of people we dated and that is how we connected.