T etiquette (trains, office, area)

[Whatsnext75]

When i'm on the train there doesnt seem to be a shortage of people wanting to sit but i've definitely seen the people who dont move down. They just think because they're standing in a spot they shouldnt have to move in to let anyone else on or move out of the way.

[GeePee]

Lets not even start talking about the people playing music on their phones at full blast without the earbuds in.. thats always a special treat.

[alidmc]

I am so glad I no longer have to take the T! Given the choice, I would not take a baby on the T and expose him/her to the germs. Some parents don't have that luxury, however.
I agree that today's strollers are huge and especially annoying in a confined space like the T. I used a simple umbrella stroller when I rode the T, folder it up, and stashed it. It actually worked quite well. Full disclosure- I rode the T from Oak Grove, so I was able to get a seat.
To me, the back packs were pretty annoying. I would pretty much always stand (after moving all the way into the car), and hated getting squashed by those huge back packs.

[Whatsnext75]

'Lets not even start talking about the people playing music on their phones at full blast without the earbuds in.. thats always a special treat.'

Beyond rude.

Or how about people who eat apples on the train? That is the worst thing you could eat. You bite into it and your guaranteed to get spit or remnants from it on the person next to you. In the past 2 weeks I've watched two women eat apples on the train. I guess food is not on my mind when im on a crowded train. and I'm pregnant.

[Steephill2]

Originally Posted by bohemka

Threads like this make me cranky. Quite sad that the absolute lowest examples of consideration are considered the norm here.

I've used mass transit in other countries where teenagers and other able-bodied passengers would jump out of their seats for the elderly and women, and help parents load and unload their strollers on and off trams and metro cars, clearing space in a hurry. Yet in this thread a stroller on public transit is considered an act of arrogance or stupidity. "Why does having a baby make you special?" Incredible.
.

I've never quite followed the "why does having a baby make you special" argument sometimes. As a parent, I dont seek out any special privileges nor seek special treatment as if we are entitled to it just because we have a kid. It never even occured to me that some people think that way but it seems like the ones that do are prejudging. Maybe there are some people who act like the world revolves around them and the child but It cant possibly be the majority of parents. Those same people would probably behave the same way if they didnt have children, only to have that sense of entitlement manifested differently. If you're arrogant, you're gonna be arrogant 24/7/365 anytime anywhere. In my opinion, the majority of us are actually trying to keep our baby under control so that the child isnt yelling and screaming, ironically, to avoid disrupting people around us. When I saw a parent struggle on the T with a stroller, it kinda hit me personally, as a parent.

[bohemka]

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

Just interesting that those groups are always placed together. One of them doesnt quite match with the rest though. Sorry, I'm going to show more accommodation for someone who could be my grandmother or grandfather than some 22 year old girl so she can text more easily.

Ridiculous.

Again, it's just about being a gentleman. People are raised differently, obviously.

[Whatsnext75]

Bohemka do you take the T often? I think the T has a way of taking the lady and the gentleman out of most people if they've been taking it for years during rush hour twice a day. My husband is one of those guys who always goes out of his way hold doors for people particularly older people, and yes people with children, he often puts others in front of himself when in public situations within reason. He's really never taken the T. He said he took it a few times in high school and college maybe. I've told him stories and he said he'd go insane if he had to take it and he can't believe how people behave. He also can't stand being in crowds or people who aren't observant of surroundings and typically on the T people aren't. It's one thing to be a gentleman, it's another to let yourself get walked all over every day by rude nasty members of society on the train. I know plenty of men who take the T twice a day everyday and I don't blame them if every now and again they just want to sit.

Why should an older gentleman give up his seat to a 22 year old girl, are you serious? I would expect a 22 year old girl to give up her seat to the older man.

[bjimmy24]

Originally Posted by bohemka

Again, it's just about being a gentleman. People are raised differently, obviously.

I just don't lump women in with people who obviously can't take care of themselves. The "gentleman" thing is ridiculous. How can you expect to be treated like you're a special snowflake when you're an adult, for everything even something as trivial as riding a bus, then expect people to not think of you as a child in other situations too (work, salary negotiations, things women often complain about being treated unfairly in)?

Luckily, most of my female friends don't have any expectations of sitting on a bus and would probably think it's a strange question if you asked them if they thought it should be that way. They are fully capable of paying their own rent, going to work, feeding themselves, doing their laundry, and yes, EVEN riding a bus.

[Whatsnext75]

My female friends don't expect someone to give their seat up to them either. Why shouldnt a 30 something year old woman be able to stand? Now a 30 something pregnant woman is another story...but again that pregnant person made the decision to take the train/bus. It certainly is nice when someone gives you their seat, but today you really cant expect it. It's sad that more people dont feel some empathy towards someone pregnant...but if you're not pregnant and in perfectly fine shape why should someone get up for you based on your gender?

[bohemka]

I do take the T often, though not as often as I have other systems in other cities. I've ridden more trains, trams and buses than most people, and If I can give you whippersnappers one word of advice, it's to not allow yourself to become institutionalized. You're not a T rider, you're you, on the T.

Originally Posted by bjimmy24

I just don't lump women in with people who obviously can't take care of themselves. The "gentleman" thing is ridiculous. How can you expect to be treated like you're a special snowflake when you're an adult, for everything even something as trivial as riding a bus, then expect people to not think of you as a child in other situations too (work, salary negotiations, things women often complain about being treated unfairly in)?

Luckily, most of my female friends don't have any expectations of sitting on a bus and would probably think it's a strange question if you asked them if they thought it should be that way. They are fully capable of paying their own rent, going to work, feeding themselves, doing their laundry, and yes, EVEN riding a bus.

Bizarre. When my mother taught me, when in the presence of women, to open doors, offer to let them go first, offer them a seat, walk on the road-side of the curb, etc., she failed to mention it was because women are inferior. That never crossed my mind. Don't try to pass off your absence of manners as some enlightened view on equality.

But I agree it's not about expectations. Not at all. It's a very simple, kind gesture. Kind gestures aren't expected, but they are appreciated. I'd wager your friends don't expect to be offered a seat, but, after a long day at the office, on their way home, would they appreciate being offered a seat by someone like you? I'd imagine so.

I offer people my seat all the time, and 90% of the time I get a smile and a "no thank you" in return. Hell of a lot better than sitting there thinking, "Well, we're all equal and I got here first."