Dating and relationships in Boston (college, live, assess)

[DanielleLA]

Hi Everyone!

I'm thinking about moving to Boston because I'm very unhappy with my life in LA. I grew up in Europe, got my MBA there, ended up in LA, and after 3 years here I feel like I am wasting my life. I'm 29, attractive, and I want to meet a guy who is looking for something serious and is ready to settle down. However, 99% of the men I meet are like little boys who don't want to grow up, and I find dating to be very frustrating here.

I'm considering San Francisco too but recently a lot of people have told me that things can be pretty tough there too. I've been to Boston a couple times and liked it a lot but I've never lived there. I want to be in a place that is more sophisticated and I want to be surrounded by interesting, warm, well-educated people who aren't flaky and who know what they want out of life.

What is the dating scene like in Boston? I've always lived in big cities and I know that dating can sometimes be difficult there. But generally speaking, are people in Boston who are in their late 20s/early 30s interested in serious relationships or is it more about short-lived fun?

Thank you!!

[smarty]

Dating is just as tough here. Just look at the Census statistics from year 2000. There are higher percentage of women in MA than in CA.

------------------CA /// MA
Female_________ 50.18% 51.82%
Under 5 years 48.82% 48.89%
5 to 13 years 48.77% 48.72%
14 to 17 years 48.40% 48.55%
18 to 24 years 47.74% 50.73%
25 to 44 years 48.98% 50.84%
45 to 64 years 51.18% 51.78%
65 years and over 57.90% 60.29%

Of course, this is just statistics. They did not take into account if the women are pretty or not. That could skew the statistic dramatically as pretty ones get 10X more attention. Some may say CA women are prettier so you will have much less competition here.

You know what they say. The good ones are already taken.

[NY'er lost in MA]

if you want to get away from boys, I wouldn't move here! Boston is the largest college city in the world. Tons of 17-23 year old immature guys.

Try online dating instead of moving cross country

[hello-world]

hi danielle.

first, it seems a little like dating in general can be a bit of a bummer, no matter where you are, if you're looking for meaningful rather than "to date around". second, i do think a slight skew in the ratios (female:male) can make a very perceptible difference - it definitely seems like the case the other way around! third, the subcultures of place can make a ton of difference, in my opinion, so i can understand your wanting to move (esp. if you're keeping in mind everywhere's - and everyone's - going to have it's trials). FYI, i am an attractive, usually-considered-to-be funny, educated, traveled, etc guy in Denver...that's having similar thoughts as yourself; guess it can go either way! re: your other similar post for San Francisco, i lived near S.F. years ago and sort of found what others seem to be echoing - it can be quite a bit more like what you're describing there in L.A., too, than it ever was in the Northeast in my experience. hey - there are tons of guys in CO, so maybe you could look into a move here :^) look me up if you do! but if your tastes lean european or northeastern, this is very not europe or boston...

[skytrekker]

Culturally; New England is more 'conservative' then California in the areas of relationships and stability. They do not call Los Angeles La La land for nothing.

These days dating everywhere is just plain weird-complicated and frustrating. Men today are more selfish and unfeeling then ever, and women more independent- so on that alone you can see why problems develop. Seems compromise is something many fail to do these days.

In New England however people are less 'flaky' with more depth and are more willing to make a commitment. There is much less of a 'car culture' here and people are less materialistic.

[LeavingMA]

Boston can be rough dating because it has a lot of college students. It will still be better than being further out in the suburbs, although you may find someone who is more looking to "settle" in the suburbs.

I'm a male, 27 and single and find dating really difficult, although i think it can be difficult anywhere. Some of it i find girls around Boston can be snobby and don't have a good sense of humor (at least not during first impressions). Most of my friends completely agree with my assessment. Also if you live outside metro Boston area (i live about 45 minutes away without traffic), people get turned off because they consider that too far.

I was in L.A. about a month ago for a week, and i can see understand your view on dating there. I found a lot of people to be nice, but more about status. Austin, TX i found to be really nice and easy to talk to people, but might city might not be big enough for you. There are quite a few decent to medium-sized cities that might suit you well depending on what your looking for.

[Kinsley]

People in New England are not "warm". Very hard to meet people here because they’re so standoffish and reserved.

Boston boys are hard to catch. But once you catch them, they’re in it for the long haul. They are extremely guarded, so it may take time for them to let you in. They are very timid and won’t make the first move.

I think it’s because Boston girls are some of the lamest ******* around (Milwaukee being the worst). They have a permanent stick up their ass, feel they’re entitled to things, and will never appreciating anything. They look at guys with a 'what can you offer me?' type of mind-set.

So, if a Boston guy doesn’t think you’re the one to marry, he’ll fall off the face of the earth (my friends and I call it ‘The Boston Boy Graveyard’) - even if it’s only after two dates. These guys don’t waist any time and can’t hang with a girl on a friend level. Yes, a very selfish way of life, but you must provide something of value. So, if you’re just providing friendship, they would rather not. Friendship with benefits is different however.

One good thing is everyone is so standoffish and it is harder to meet people here there’s less cheating going on. I never worry about my boyfriend going out to the bars with his buddies. What are they gonna do, strike up a conversation with the waitress and bring her home? Yea, right. Not with these stuck-up, up-tight, ‘have to be in before midnight’ girls.

Over all - everyone complains about the dating scene where they live – that’s just how dating naturally goes. If it were easy, the world would be over populated. Life's a journay, not a destination – respect the dating process.

[HowGoesIt]

Originally Posted by DanielleLA

I want to be surrounded by interesting, warm, well-educated people

Will you take 2 out of 3?

[xS☺B☺s]

Ditto to what everyone above said. If you don't want to ever get a date again, move to Boston. This is a perfect place to never meet anybody or ever get a date. However, if you ask for directions, we'll all be happy to help!

Want a date? Go to Miami. Those people can't their hands off each other for a minute!

[ctrres]

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