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OP, I would suggest many more people for you to talk to. First, possibly a therapist, maybe one that specializes in religion; a lot of people are taught some pretty scary things from the time they're small and it's hard to forget that stuff. If you are frightened to the point that you're shaking and panicking, you may need more help and guidance than strangers on the internet can give you.
That said, I'd also suggest talking with progressive Christian clergy (that is, no Catholics, Baptists, born-again or evangelical, or any of those likely to pull out these scare tactics), Christians you know who don't have these kinds of fears, Buddhist clergy who can likewise reassure you (and teach you more about Buddhism) and Buddhist friends.
I'm curious as to why you began studying Buddhism if you think it is akin to "selling your soul and life to the devil"?
Would you say that you treat christianity, buddhism, etc.
as philosophies from which you can learn wisdom, rather than religions to worship?
I believe this is still on topic, because it could help the OP.
First, religions and I do not mix. Rules, dogmas, milking the peasants- misinterpretations, misunderstandingeven the words of Jesus himself.
Hmm, interesting question, never thought about it
But, yes, they have MUCH I learn from... esp, the Christian Mystics galore!
Oh my, I can make a list if you ever want.
Then, Sufism and Sikhism! With Guru Nanak, Kabir, Hafiz! Wow.
The Bhagavad Gita: Krishna and Arjuna--then, Mirabai, Tulsidas! Kirpal Singh and all the Indian yogis!
Even the Native Americans and the Great Spirit that dwells in all.
Spinoza, Zoraster --such wisdom!
Judaism - I get huge wisdom from many verses in the Old Test.
Christianity is about worship very much, yes: for Jesus and his Father. (I'm not about fear, as u know.)
And a way to live your life, aka lovingly as Jesus' showed us to do and in deep faith,
and thus, peace and power.
Buddhism to 'me' is a way of life, a way of perspective that brings a lot of peace and wisdom.
Could you say a philosophy? Sure...yet, what Buddha directly
experienced when he 'awoke' was no philosophy!
A philosophy?
No.
A teaching?
Without any doubt.
If you do any more or less unbiased research on any religion, and on buddhism, as a non religion, but considered such by many, you WILL find that first, there was a teacher. A master. A Guru. A Mahatma.
YEARS later, teaching, that was pretty much forgotten or twisted or ended in interpretations, as those, touched by the spirit of the living master, and carrying what's left of that spark, died out, will be slowly organized into religion. Sometimes slower, sometimes faster. Always it took several generations. Buddha Himself gave his teaching 500 years. Jesus just died on the cross, and his disciples already were arguing, who will be sitting closer to god in heaven...besides not having a single direct His word passed onto generations, only hearsay and opinions...
There were those, who found The Way, and never managed to bring it to masses, as they could not find an adapt, to pass it onto.
There were those, who were re existing for millions of years, to maintain the light of a particular teaching.
But it was always teaching. Wisdom. Never a religion. Religion was created/maintained by society, in conjunction with politicians and the powerful of those worlds, to control masses and either keep them in oppression or direct them whichever way the Power needed to.
Philosophies? You need to go to the likes of Plato, Diogenes, Aristotle, Kant.... that crowd....
A philosophy?
No.
A teaching?
Without any doubt.
If you do any more or less unbiased research on any religion, and on buddhism, as a non religion, but considered such by many, you WILL find that first, there was a teacher. A master. A Guru. A Mahatma.
YEARS later, teaching, that was pretty much forgotten or twisted or ended in interpretations, as those, touched by the spirit of the living master, and carrying what's left of that spark, died out, will be slowly organized into religion. Sometimes slower, sometimes faster. Always it took several generations. Buddha Himself gave his teaching 500 years. Jesus just died on the cross, and his disciples already were arguing, who will be sitting closer to god in heaven...besides not having a single direct His word passed onto generations, only hearsay and opinions...
There were those, who found The Way, and never managed to bring it to masses, as they could not find an adapt, to pass it onto.
There were those, who were re existing for millions of years, to maintain the light of a particular teaching.
But it was always teaching. Wisdom. Never a religion. Religion was created/maintained by society, in conjunction with politicians and the powerful of those worlds, to control masses and either keep them in oppression or direct them whichever way the Power needed to.
Philosophies? You need to go to the likes of Plato, Diogenes, Aristotle, Kant.... that crowd....
I know that you like to think of yourself as the be-all and end-all of religious thought, but if you had studied Buddhism as much as you imply, you'd know the argument about whether Buddhism is a religion or a philosophy or something else is a VERY COMMON discussion in Buddhist circles.
So YOU can be as definitive as YOU like, but that's just YOUR viewpoint.
I'm not going to argue back and forth of this, so I will simply offer the following two articles (out of thousands on the topic) that I think provide a good discussion:
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1017...source=twitter
Excerpt:Since Buddhism does actually have a clear belief system on the afterlife,
I would say it is more than a "way of life" or "lifestyle" as some people say.
However, calling Buddhism a philosophy is pretty accurate.
One definition of philosophy from Dictionary.com is
"the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct."
Also:Buddha's teachings emphasized personal practice and adhering to moral principles above any kind of dogma. Even in regards to the Five Precepts, the Buddha doesn't describe them as divine laws,
but as practical guidelines to follow for one's own happiness in this life and the next.
....
I did not realize a philosophy was an investigation.
I thought of Buddhism as a way of life..a way to view life's situations
with a very healthy perspective, I might add. That's just me.
I thought teaching was a fine word since Buddha taught others what he realized.
(So, Christianity is a teaching to me, also, since Jesus was such a teacher;
and a way of life, that became a religion -having doctrines, rules of membership, rituals.)
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1017...source=twitter
Excerpt:Since Buddhism does actually have a clear belief system on the afterlife,
I would say it is more than a "way of life" or "lifestyle" as some people say.
However, calling Buddhism a philosophy is pretty accurate.
One definition of philosophy from Dictionary.com is
"the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct."
Also:Buddha's teachings emphasized personal practice and adhering to moral principles above any kind of dogma. Even in regards to the Five Precepts, the Buddha doesn't describe them as divine laws,
but as practical guidelines to follow for one's own happiness in this life and the next.
....
I did not realize a philosophy was an investigation.
I thought of Buddhism as a way of life..a way to view life's situations
with a very healthy perspective, I might add. That's just me.
I thought teaching was a fine word since Buddha taught others what he realized.
(So, Christianity is a teaching to me, also, since Jesus was such a teacher;
and a way of life, that became a religion -having doctrines, rules of membership, rituals.)
While I do think there is a difference in Buddhism practiced as a religion versus Buddhism practiced as a philosophy, I think that there is such a thing as getting too hung up on certain words.
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Rules, dogmas, milking the peasants- misinterpretations, misunderstandingeven the words of Jesus himself.
